Monthly Archives: April 2007

Paul, Don’t be Such a Dick!


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From Times Online:

Paul Wolfowitz will plead to keep his job as President of the World Bank today before a special investigating committee, which is said to have concluded that he breached ethics by engineering a pay rise for his girlfriend.
…snip…
Earlier on the same day Mr Bush had once again praised Mr Wolfowitz — who was sitting in the front row of an event at the White House — for his leadership in the bank’s fight against global poverty.
…snip…
The crisis arose from revelations over an alleged conflict of interest in decisions to transfer his girlfriend, Shaha Ali Riza, to a the US State Department where she received a tax-free $60,000 (£30,000) pay rise.

So, here it is in a nutshell. Ol’ Paulie has been playing fast and loose with the rules, the adults at the World Bank want him to resign, and Ol’ Paulie, like a bad houseguest, refuses to leave and insists he didn’t leave the toilet seat up in the executive bathroom. President Bush backs his buddy completely and insists that Ol’ Paulie is doing a heckuva job. Mr. Bush cited the accomplishments of his friend during his tenure at the World Bank, including unchaining the pens from the tables. Then he asked when he will be receiving his free toaster.

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Filed under Chimpy, George W. Bush, humor, movies, parody, Paul Wolfowitz, politics, Shaha Ali Riza, snark, State Department, White House scandals, World Bank

The State Department: Where the Rubber Meets the Toad

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Original DVD cover.

From ABC News:

Randall L. Tobias, a deputy secretary of state, tendered his resignation after ABC (After Being Caught?) News called with questions about an escort service allegedly involved in prostitution. Tobias was tasked with leading the African HIV/AIDS effort and promoted abstinence and faithfulness (can you say irony?). Tobias was uniquely qualified to carry out his duties, because he and his wife donated over 100,000 bucks to Republican candidates.
When queried about the escort service, Tobias insisted that there was no sex involved, just massages. It is not known if the ladies from the escort service rubbed him the wrong way.
The so-called D. C. Madam who ran the escort service, Deborah Jeane Palfrey, maintains that her service was legal and merely a sexual fantasy business. She said that if any of the women working for her had sex with clients, she was unaware of it (hey! she could be Attorney General!!).

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Filed under ABC News, D.C. Madam, Deborah Jeane Palfrey, humor, movies, parody, politics, Randall Tobias, snark, State Department, television, White House scandals

DON’T BUY THAT BOOK!!!!

It’s already a movie!


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Filed under Chimpy, Dick Cheney, George Tenet, George W. Bush, humor, Iraq War, movies, parody, politics, Slam dunk, snark, television

She Said What?!?

I don’t make this stuff up, people! Listen to the conversation between Laura “Pickles Stepford” Bush and Ann “Is It Just Me or Does Her Voice Creep Everyone Out” Curry on the Today Show. Ann asks Pickles about the suffering of the American people due to the war in Iraq, and Pickles reassures us that, “No one suffers more than their President and I do.” Do you have any idea how much that weighs on a person when she is trying to do some shopping? Lemme hear a little gratitude, people!
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As if that wasn’t bad enough, I hear that Barney is beside himself with worry!
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Filed under Ann Curry, Barney, Chimpy, George W. Bush, humor, Iraq War, Laura Bush, movies, parody, politics, snark, television, Today Show

Secrets and Lies…and More Lies….

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On April 24, 2007, Kevin Tillman, Pat Tillman’s brother who served with him as an Army Ranger in Afghanistan, testified in a House Oversight and Government Reform Committee hearing and said that the military misled the nation and betrayed his family by spreading false stories about how he died. A soldier who saw Tillman die, Spc. Bryan O’Neal, as well as a naval officer who eulogized Tillman agreed.

Mary Tillman wanted the scope of the investigation to go beyond the death of her son. She said, “This really isn’t about our family or about Pat. It’s about what they did to the nation. They’re diminishing true heroism. War is ugly, bloody and painful, and to write these glorious tales is a disservice.”

Jessica Lynch, the Army supply clerk who was captured in the first month of the Iraq War and then famously rescued by American troops testified that the story told about her by the Pentagon was a fabrication.

Spc. O’Neal was yards away from Tillamn when he was shot. He recalled how Tillman frantically shouted and waved to members of his platoon before they shot him. Hours afterward, Lt. Col. Jeff Bailey told O’Neal not to tell Kevin Tillman that his brother was killed by friendly fire.

Thomas Gimble, the The Defense Department’s inspector general, defended the department’s investigation into how Tillman’s death was handled. His report found fault with 9 officers. He said the investigation was clumsy, but there was no cover-up. He admitted that there were no inquiries made as to whether there was contact between the Pentagon and the White House over the case, and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was not questioned. Rumsfeld sent a letter saying he didn’t know until several weeks later that Tillman had been killed by friendly fire.

(NOTE: This post was edited to delete any traces of a story from the San Jose Mercury News. The reason can be found here.)

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Filed under Bryan O'Neal, Donald Rumsfeld, House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, Jessica Lynch, Kevin Tillman, Mary Tillman, movies, parody, Pat Tillman, Pentagon, politics, snark, Thomas Gimble, White House scandals

Gonzogate, the Saga Continues…

“This is an honest, honorable man, in whom I have confidence,” Bush said.
The president said that Gonzales’ testimony before skeptical Judiciary Committee senators last week “increased my confidence” in his ability to lead the Justice Department. Separately, a White House spokeswoman said, “He’s staying.”

—AP By TERENCE HUNT, AP White House Correspondent
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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Chimpy, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, Harriet Miers, humor, Kyle Sampson, Monica Goodling, movies, parody, politics, Senate Judiciary Committee, snark, White House scandals

Is It Raining? Nah, It’s Just the White House Leaking!!

From Raw Story:

The head of the House Committee on Oversight and Governance Reform warned today of a “systematic failure” in basic security procedures as well as the safeguarding of classified information in the White House of President George W. Bush.

“Multiple current and former White House security personnel have informed my staff that White House practices have been dangerously inadequate with respect to investigating security violations, taking corrective action following breaches, and physically securing classified information,” Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA) wrote to former White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card today.

snip, snip

According to Waxman, the security personnel “described a systemic breakdown in security procedures at the White House,” and he warned that they suggested “that the security lapses that characterized the White House response to the leak of [former covert CIA Agent Valerie Plame] Wilson’s identity were not an isolated occurrence, but part of a pattern of disregard for the basic requirements for protecting our national security secrets.”

The Oversight Committee chairman listed consistent allegations presented to his committee. The White House, he reported in the letter, ignored security breaches, blocked West Wing security inspections, and condoned mismanagement of the White House Security Office.

Waxman’s letter noted criticism of James Knodell, the Director of the White House Security Office, and Ken Greeson, the Deputy Director, for their inexperience and poor management.

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Filed under Andrew Card, Chimpy, George W. Bush, Henry Waxman, House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, humor, James Knodell, movies, parody, Plamegate, politics, Valerie Plame, White House scandals

Better use this one before Gonzo gets the boot….

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Barney, Chimpy, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, humor, Karl Rove, Laura Bush, movies, parody, politics, snark, television