An Angel Earns His (Right) Wings

From Talking Points Memo:

Bobby Jindal, the 36-year old governor of Louisiana, is being taken seriously by the national press as a candidate on the shortlist to be John McCain’s Vice President. No one doubts that he’s a political prodigy — his impressive resume includes stints as president of the state university system, a Congressman and now governor.

But one of Jindal’s job titles hasn’t gotten much attention — and it just might prompt a few questions if his Veep candidacy gains steam: Exorcist.


Original DVD cover.

[...] an essay Jindal wrote in 1994 for the New Oxford Review, a serious right-wing Catholic journal, Jindal narrated a bizarre story of a personal encounter with a demon, in which he participated in an exorcism with a group of college friends. And not only did they cast out the supernatural spirit that had possessed his friend, Jindal wrote that he believes that their ritual may well have cured her cancer.

Reading the article leaves no doubt that Jindal — who graduated from Brown University in 1991, was a Rhodes Scholar, and had been accepted at Yale Law School and Harvard Medical School when he wrote the essay — was completely serious about the encounter. He even said the experience “reaffirmed” his faith.

…snip…

In the essay (purchase required), Jindal describes an emotional friendship with a classmate, “Susan,” recently diagnosed with skin cancer and reeling after the suicide of a close friend. Susan’s behavior becomes stranger, and she is surrounded by “sulfuric” smells.

There are no known photographs, so here is an artist’s rendition of the event (Bobby is on the left, “Susan” on the right):

Here are a few snippets from Bobby’s essay:

The students, led by Susan’s sister and Louise, a member of a charismatic church, engaged in loud and desperate prayers while holding Susan with one hand. Kneeling on the ground, my friends were chanting, “Satan, I command you to leave this woman.” Others exhorted all “demons to leave in the name of Christ.” It is no exaggeration to note the tears and sweat among those assembled. Susan lashed out at the assembled students with verbal assaults.

Another artist’s rendition of the scene:

Whenever I concentrated long enough to begin prayer, I felt some type of physical force distracting me. It was as if something was pushing down on my chest, making it very hard for me to breathe. . . Though I could find no cause for my chest pains, I was very scared of what was happening to me and Susan. I began to think that the demon would only attack me if I tried to pray or fight back; thus, I resigned myself to leaving it alone in an attempt to find peace for myself.

Don’t worry, kids. Everything ended well…

Almost taunting the evil spirit that had almost beaten us minutes before, the students dared Susan to read biblical passages. She choked on certain passages and could not finish the sentence “Jesus is Lord.” Over and over, she repeated “Jesus is L..L..LL,” often ending in profanities. In between her futile attempts, Susan pleaded with us to continue trying and often smiled between the grimaces that accompanied her readings of Scripture. Just as suddenly as she went into the trance, Susan suddenly reappeared and claimed “Jesus is Lord.”

With an almost comical smile, Susan then looked up as if awakening from a deep sleep and asked, “Has something happened?” She did not remember any of the past few hours and was startled to find her friends breaking out in cheers and laughter, overwhelmed by sudden joy and relief.

Jindal writes proudly about the experiment’s conclusion: “When the operation occurred, the surgeons found no traces of cancerous cells. Susan claimed she had felt healed after the group prayer and can remember the sensation of being ‘purified.’”

20 Comments

Filed under 2008 election, Catholicism, humor, Jesus, John McCain, movies, parody, politics, religion, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

20 responses to “An Angel Earns His (Right) Wings

  1. nightowl724

    The woman has a seizure and they don’t dial 911? Instead, they do an exorcism? (I would have filed charges against these loons!) She tries to get away from them and they hold her down? She’s swearing at them the whole time? (I would have been cursing, too!) For hours, until she says “Jesus is Lord” and proclaims herself “purified?” (I’d say anything to keep these people away from me, too!) And, this man is being considered for VP? (WTF?)

    EXCELLENT poster, nonnie! (And, please pardon the hiccup.)

  2. nightowl724

    OOPS! I didn’t think I clicked “submit” twice. Honest! That wasn’t the hiccup to which I was referring. I was talking about my email…

  3. it’s okay, nightowl, i deleted the duplicate comment.
    yeah, this is the guy we want one heartbeat away from the preznitzy, huh? if we think chimpy doesn’t believe in science, we will have this guy endorsing ex0rcists instead of health insurance. who needs stem cell research or schip when you can have father karris?
    p.s. thanks for the email. i had just seen a story about this at dk when i got your email, so i didn’t have to hunt for the story. :wink:

  4. nightowl724

    Thank you for deleting my dupe.

    Geez, I never thought of exorcism as health care! I hope the Rethugs don’t get wind of the idea…

    You’re welcome for the email. I’m just glad you used your mighty pen to expose and mock these kooks.

  5. Got a Grip

    Jindal is obviously a terrorist. He’s a scary brown person, after all, and his contacts with Satan are now documented (thanks, nonnie!), so he should really be on a no-fly list instead of a VP short list.

    On the other hand, maybe we should lock him in a room with Chimpy, Turdblossom and Cheney and see if he can work his magical exorcist powers on them. If that works out, then we can let him have a go at whatever is eating the soul of Captain Underpants…..

  6. good idea, gotta! we need to move jindal to the dc area (but not in any official capacity), where he will be busy all the time.

  7. nightowl724

    gotta, I say throw everyone you can think of into that locked room with Jindal. Once he works his black magic, you’ll never be able to open the door again. It would be worse than taking the lid off Pandora’s box! Although, it could be the plot for the next Indiana Jones movie!

  8. or we can just call it the rethuglican national convention.

  9. jeb

    Well, if Bobby becomes VP, maybe Dick will pass on his shotgun. Then Bobby can just blast them democra…. ooops demons, lawyers and varmints right outta DC.

    Nonnie the whole diary works because of the vivid and realistic accurate visual representations of the events.

  10. hi jeb!!! :D
    i expect a rethug ad any day now that points out that democrat and demon start with the same 4 letters. what else does captain underpants have at this point?
    thank you so much for commenting on the illustrations. i had to pay an artist a lot for the renderings, but i thought it was worth it if they would help readers picture what was really going on. they are unbelievably lifelike, don’t you think?

  11. jeb

    They are stunning in their representation of the rethug form. What was the artist’s name? Mike L. Angelo? Leo D. Vinci?

  12. it was leotardo duhvincheese. i think he is leo d. vinci’s distant cousin. rather a strange guy. he wears elastic tights and isn’t very bright, but his art is top notch. his nickname is gif, but i am not sure why his friends call him that.

  13. jeb

    Oh hey, I knew that guy in elementary school. He used to take his Big Chief note pad and draw a picture of a dancing worm in the right hand bottom corner on every page and then flip it backward and forward to make it dance. It’s good to see that he’s gone high tech now.

  14. jeb,
    that kid was in every class. i think he must have been cloned. we all thought he wouldn’t amount to much, but look how far he has come. i guess he won one for the giffers. :P

  15. you can’t stop laughing? omg!!! :shock: dcAp is possessed!! :twisted: quick!! someone call bobby jindal!!!!

  16. Nice post, Nonnie. It is hilarious yet sad. The part about the girl possibly having a seizure that they ignored reminds me of this story I found about a guy who claims to have done 500 exorcisms (he is one of Bob Larson’s guys) and some of the “exorcised” seemed to have actually been sick. Here is the link if you want to take a look. http://www.pitch.com.

  17. thank you, hannah, and welcome to the raisin! :D
    i read that article, and it is very scary. not only does it ignore mental health issues, it also makes those suffering from psychological problems evil outcasts. at some parts, i had to laugh–the warlocks!–but it was laughter with sadness that people are so desperate that they turn to charlatans instead of seeking the medical help that they need. it can be something as simple as seeing a therapist, joining a support group, or just talking to a trusted friend. instead, people are brainwashed into this nonsense. very sad and very dangerous. thank goodness that most people call 911 when they see someone having a seizure instead of whipping out a bible and the holy water.

  18. Exorcism. Download 4 documentary films for free. Healer, exorcist Nikolay Dolgorukiy (Zaporozhye, Ukraine)
    http://www.exorcism-nd.narod.ru/

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