Just when you thought Captain Underpants couldn’t degrade his wife anymore…from Top of the Ticket at the Los Angeles Times:
John McCain on Monday became the first presidential aspirant to attend the annual Sturgis Rally in South Dakota, an event dating back to 1938 that each year attracts hordes of enthusiasts for a week of celebrating biker culture.
McCain, [Times's Bob] Drogin relates, told his rowdy listeners “that he had encouraged his wife to enter the annual Sturgis beauty contest, one in which nudity is not uncommon. … ‘I told her with a little luck she could be the only lady to serve as first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip,’ he said with a broad grin.”
John McCain appeared yesterday evening with bikini-clad women donning leather chaps and roaming an open field littered with beer cans. Men wearing tank tops, ripped jeans and biker boots stood next to their Harleys and revved their engines—literally—when they saw something they liked.
Oh, yeah, the family values party!
The Republican presidential candidate went to the Buffalo Chips campground, part of the eight-day Sturgis Motorcycle Rally located about an hour outside of Rapid City on the far western border of the state.
While waiting for McCain’s appearance, Washington Wire took in the scene, which included a crew of bikers on a balcony above the temporary stores, shouting a host of things (some nice, some not). A pair of girls swung on poles off to the side.
McCain and his wife, Cindy, stopped by one store and bought four T-shirts, two black and two burnt orange, which he grabbed hastily. He paid for them with cash from what appeared to be a black Velcro wallet and asked how business was doing.
Before selecting those tops, McCain quickly glanced at a rack of red T-shirts which your pooler saw featured a topless Miss Buffalo Chips with her arm and a denim jacket strategically placed. A few feet away stood the woman herself, who goes by Jessica, wearing a black bikini and black leather chaps, signing autographs. McCain did not make his way over to her but several other male patrons did. “I don’t want John McCain’s autograph,” one man slurred to Jessica. “I want yours,” he said, holding up a T-shirt for her to sign.
When McCain made his way to the stage, he was accompanied by U.S. Sen. John Thune and Gov. Mike Rounds (who wore a black leather vest). The motorcyclists revved their engines in approval and cheered wildly for the Arizona senator.
John Thune? Mr. Evangelical family values whose “… Christian worldview shapes my decision-making with respect to all aspects of my life“? That John Thune? Well, he believes in creationism, and the Sturgis Rally seems to be a good place to prove that man has not evolved.
McCain spoke briefly and then left the stage, making way for musicians Kid Rock and Kellie Pickler.
Oh, did I mention the sign?
Could they make Captain Underpants’s name any smaller?
What’s the Miss Buffalo Chips contest like? Here’s a comment from a reader at Talking Points Memo:
I grew up in Western South Dakota, and can tell you that “topless, and occasionally bottomless” barely scratches the surface on Miss Buffalo Chip. There were always rumors about underage contestants and on-stage sex–that was simply what Buffalo Chip stood for in the collective unconscious of teenage boys in the Rapid City area. This amounts to John McCain volunteering his wife for a Girls Gone Wild video. Quite a lady’s man, that McCain…
I wonder if Cindy Lou will make some time to practice for the banana rubbing, simulated onstage sex, and the pickle licking contest.