The *Untied* States of America, Part 2….Eh?

Hey comrades amigos kids! Yesterday, we explored The Republic of Texas and the new Russian Alaska circa 2010, as predicted by Igor Panarin. If you will remember, the deteriorating economy, immigration, and a lack of morality are going to swirl together and turn into a new American civil war. While we are at each others’ throats, foreign powers will swoop in and take over.

Today, I thought we would examine the new Central North American Republic (let’s call it CNAR), which will be part of Canada or under Canadian influence.

Just as in The Republic of Texas and the new Russian Alaska, politicians in the CNAR will try to adjust to the new reality. Let’s begin with Senators Sam Brownback and Pat Roberts. Hey, guys! Looks like you’re not in Kansas anymore! Eh?


John Thune of the former South Dakota doesn’t look too happy. Maybe he needs a few Molson Goldens to help him with the transition! Eh?

Then there’s this idiot. He doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing or where he is. He’s just happy there’s no U.S. Department of Justice anymore. Eh?

The most important thing though, comrades amigos kids, is that it doesn’t matter where you are, but who you are. Change the place names, but true character will still shine through. Just ask Senator Russ Feingold of the former Wisconsin or Senator Mike Enzi of the former Wyoming. Eh?

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17 Comments

Filed under humor, Justice Department, movies, parody, Pat Roberts, politics, Republicans, Russ Feingold, Russia, Sam Brownback, snark

17 responses to “The *Untied* States of America, Part 2….Eh?

  1. nightowl724

    This is the funniest line-up of Kanucks I’ve ever seen! :-D

  2. hi nightowl! :D
    the series continues tomorrow night! :)

  3. nightowl724

    Are you feeling better?

  4. for the most part. still getting rid of the flotsam and jetsam, and my throat is getting a little scratchy, but i am hoping that the nastiness is almost over. thanks for asking.

  5. as long as i dont end up in the same country as John Cornyn or Kay Big Hair

  6. Heh, I dated a woman who lived in Canada for 10 years, and I can get CBC where I live now. Canada taking over this part of the US wouldn’t be a shock to me. It might even be an improvement.

    Any of you hosers up for going to Tim Hortons for a coffee and a smoke, eh?

  7. I think Canadians make the absolute best fodder for fun poking.
    Having had a few Canuck girlfriends and traveled there a bit, I can say they are without doubt the nambiest pambies and overly polite weenies on Earth, eh?
    Even their money is called loonies, that is, their official money. They have a second currency called Canadian Tire money which smells like rubber and can be used to buy crap at the Canadian Tire store on every corner.
    And they eat poutine- a creamy cheese curd spread over French fries and topped with barbecue sauce. Say what?
    And they curl, which is a sport do-able by anyone with an intact brain stem and a broom.
    And let’s not forget Celine Dionne, eh?
    Bwahahahaha!

  8. dcAp,
    i’m torn. not sure if i want to be part of the CNAR (and i would have named it the North American Republic of Canada, because NARC is easier to remember than CNAR) or part of Atlantic America (though i am not sure i want to tell people i am a member of AA). i definitely don’t want to be part of The Texas Republic, which is what i am slated for, according to panarin. :(

  9. neon vincent,
    if canada was not so cold, i wouldn’t mind living there. i’ve never been there, but i have never met a nasty canadian. they’re like americans on valium with funny-looking money.

  10. karen,
    i don’t know what poutine is, but the word sounds dirty. :shock: i love to watch curling! i don’t understand what the hell they are doing, but it fascinates me. if there was an all-curling channel, i would watch it for hours each day.

  11. writechicpress

    Brownback was born for that set. And I’d sure miss Russ. But I’d play Nell to his mountie any day. ;-)

    Great Job.

  12. hey wcp!
    brownback looks natural there, doesn’t he? i found the pic of dudley do-right and snidely, and i had to use it. who else could fill the role of dudley than russ? and, yeah, i would be his nell any day!

  13. Never met a nasty Canadian, eh? I can tell you’ve never been to a junior hockey game. They’re worse than Little League parents!

  14. neon vincent,
    no, i have never been to a junior hockey game. i don’t think i would get along very well with hackey mams! :wink:

  15. Here’s yer friendly neighborhood Canuck to tell you that poutine is French fries smothered with gravy and cheese curds. Beauty, eh?

    Hand me another Ex, will ye? Gotta have a brewski with poutine, eh?

  16. hi jaliya!
    how nice to see you here again! :)

    i am all on board with the french fries and the gravy, but cheese curd? why would you want to ruin french fries and gravy with cheese curd? eh?

  17. Pingback: The *Untied* States of America, the Final Installment « HYSTERICAL RAISINS

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