Forget Pennsylvania Avenue, Think *Madison* Avenue!

From CBS News:

[…] President Obama has been playing the role of bipartisan salesman in chief as he has lobbied night and day to sell his economic stimulus plan. He has staked his first 100 days in office on the stimulus bill, and he will make the sale.

Last night, during his first prime time press conference, Mr. Obama aimed his stimulus rhetoric at his predecessor and Congress.

He told the American people, “I can’t afford to see Congress play the usual political games. What we have to do right now is deliver for the American people. So my bottom line when it comes to the recovery package is: Send me a bill that creates or saves 4 million jobs.”

And he warned, “If you delay acting on an economy of this severity, then you potentially create a negative spiral that becomes much more difficult for us to get out of.”

I hate to interrupt, but that fancy talk is all well and good, but you have to remember who you’re talking to, Mr. President. The American consumer doesn’t respond to logic and common sense. We like slogans and flashy spokespeople. But don’t worry, Mr. Prez, I’m here to help! The first thing I would suggest is that you use a snappy nickname for the American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan, and I don’t mean Stimulus! I think this will work much better:

I bet not even the staunchest Rethuglican will be able to resist Stimwow!

Okay, I know what you’re thinking–Vince hasn’t been around long enough for the American public to completely trust him. That’s okay, I brought back-up! Here’s a guy we all know, and he has a spiffy-looking container that might make all the difference!

Now, there are some who say they want to read the fine print, and that’s why I’ve prepared (with a lot of help from the master salesman of all time) this manual. Don’t worry, the pages inside are blank. People don’t really read that crap. They just want to say that they asked for it. We mail out the booklet in a nice envelope, they get it, and forget it!

We also have to calm the misgivings of those we want to help. Therefore, I have enlisted someone everyone trusts to convince them that they have nothing to fear.

While we try to be nice, there comes a time when you have to call your competitors out, but we still want to remain lovable. I think I have the solution!

Well, I hope this helps! If it doesn’t, we only have one other tactic we can use, but we really, really don’t want to go there.

22 Comments

Filed under Advertising, Arlen Specter, Barack Obama, Ben Nelson, Congress, Democrats, humor, Joe Lieberman, Mr. Whipple, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Susan Collins, television, Wordpress Political Blogs

22 responses to “Forget Pennsylvania Avenue, Think *Madison* Avenue!

  1. Ram Venkatararam

    Great post. Very funny. I vote for Stimwow!!! (But the President looks a little sinister in that photo – I’m not sure whether he has Vince’s back or if he’s getting ready to snap him in half. Either way, I’m good!!!)

  2. ram,
    i think he looks rather proud. funny how we can have such different interpretations. i guess this will be known as obama’s mona lisa pic. what’s behind that enigmatic smile–a pat on the back or a shiv in the back?

  3. Ram Venkatararam

    Maybe it’s because Vince just looks like an evil henchman. Actually, yeah, I think that may be it

  4. distributorcap

    oh billy mays

    enough to make me want to hear Bush again
    NOT

    lol
    these are great

  5. ram,
    i think vince looks like a fox (the animal). he’s got those pointy little ears, and the slightly spiky hair helps the illusion.

  6. dcAp,
    did you ever notice that billy mays’s watchfaces always match the color of the product he is selling? someone pointed that out to me a while ago, and ever since, his commercials don’t bother me, because i am distracted by looking for his watch.

  7. Uni

    LOL… I love your blog….

  8. thanks uni, and welcome to the raisin! :D hope you will stop by and comment often!

  9. And to think I’m old enough to remember when Mondale used “Where’s the beef?” on Gary Hart in 1984. Mondale implied there wasn’t any. He was wrong, but it took us years to find out it was being used for “Monkey Business.”

  10. neon vincent,
    i had forgotten completely about mondale saying that! i guess history repeats itself. well, it will as soon as i am hired as the white house advertising consultant.

  11. You could be a ‘Shop-a-holic if:
    One pic is never enough!
    Two pics is not enough!
    Three pics leaves you wanting more!
    Four pics doesn’t quite do it!
    Five pics a day keeps the doctor away!
    You have photoshop layer dreams!
    Your name ends in “9999”!

    Awesome!

  12. :lol:
    i’m really not a shopaholic, but i am a tv addict! the funniest part of your comment, saitia, is the part about the layers. i really do look at things in terms of layers now! :lol: i can’t look at pictures anymore without considering how difficult it would be to photoshop.

  13. Nonnie, I have a steel trap memory. Things I see and read have to chew their paws off to escape!

  14. i used to have a steel trap memory, but the damned thing got all rusty. :(

  15. Hey, Nonnie: since you’re really good at this (and we’ve been meaning to do something like this but haven’t scratched out the time) would you do a WWE-style wrestling poster for our upcoming March 8th ‘PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction’ spectacular for us?

    Ideally, what I’m thinking is a huge mushroom cloud with Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews, and Arianna Huffington on the left and Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, and Sarah Palin on the right charging towards each other.

    PCW would certainly be more than willing to throw a link back to you and publicize that you did the poster.

    Love your stuff even though you lean left (we try to call it right down the middle).

  16. thanks for the kind words, pcw, and welcome to the raisin. :D i’m not sure i’m the person you want to do the art for you. like you said, i lean left, and i would not be kind to those you mention on the right. i would make sure to put them in their worst light (as if they have any other kind).

  17. nightowl724

    Even if I’m late, I’m glad I never miss an episode of HR! Too much, nonnie!

  18. but we miss you, nightowl! :wink:

  19. nightowl724

    Awww, shucks. Thanks. :oops:

  20. Nonnie, leave it to you to see my meager Shamwow pic and raise it by 5,000.
    I bow to you, the Queen of Photoshop.

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