Heady Lamar

Oh, kids, I know this will break your heart, but there appears to be a rift between the Rethuglican National Committee and some congressmen and senators. A week or so ago (according to POLITICO), John Boohoo Boehner, Mitch No-chin McConnell, Jon I-don’t-need-maternity-care Kyl, John NRA Thune, and Heady Lamar Alexander got in Michael Phathead Steele’s face and told him to lay off on the policy-making. According to me my infallible anonymous sources, Phathead replied that he’s tired of just being a pretty face for the GOP when he goes out on the road and people ask him questions about Rethuglican positions on stuff. Heady Lamar said that it should be elected officials who set policy, called him a “baby, baby, baby,” and directed Phathead to “stick your head in gravy, wash it out with bubblegum, and send it to the Navy.”


Original image (by Frances Tipton Hunter)

Of course, when they all came out of the room, they said that they all had a wonderful discussion, and they all just love each other to bits now.

Not so fast. Enter James Bopp, vice chairman of the Republican National Committee. From his Op-Ed at POLITICO:

The latest Washington turf war seems to be between some in the GOP congressional leadership and Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele. As reported in POLITICO on Oct. 5, some Republicans in Congress, led by Tennessee Sen. Lamar Alexander, took Steele to task for straying beyond politics to policy by announcing his “health care bill of rights.” Alexander declared, “We are elected to set the policy.” But, in my view, the national committee’s job is to create the environment in which Republicans can be elected to set policy.

Uh-oh!

This is the tail wagging the dog. The Republican Party was founded to advance a set of principles — most famously, ending slavery. Electing politicians to public office is a means to that end. Alexander, it seems, would reverse this: Let’s just elect public officials and see what public policies they come up with. Furthermore, there is no artificial separation between policy and politics. Good policy is good politics.

Unfortunately, we have just come off two electoral defeats where the Republican Party followed Alexander’s prescription — just let the politicians decide policy — and abandoned the Republican Party’s conservative fiscal and free-market principles. As a result, many Americans became disillusioned with the Republicans, and now America is paying the price with President Barack Obama’s march toward socialism.

Dammit, we’re marching towards socialism? I was told there was going to be transportation. Now I have to see if I can find a comfortable pair of shoes. Maybe boots. I think boots are more impressive when marching.

I certainly agree with Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.), who said that Republicans “need to coordinate as much as possible” their message. But that is quite different from saying that the RNC has no role in formulating public policy. And Steele says that before it was released he ran his “health care bill of rights” by the Republican congressional leadership.

And what about the Republican Party platform? The 2008 version has 55 pages of Republican principles and policy proposals, including six pages advocating conservative reforms of the health care system. The RNC frequently updates its policy positions through the adoption of resolutions applying the Republican Party’s conservative principles to current public policy debates.

And what is the platform for? To provide a blueprint for how Republicans will govern if America entrusts us with that responsibility.

You know what this means, kids. One, Michael Phathead Steele is too much of a wimp to stand up to other Rethuglicans, so he sends out his toady to fight his battles for him. And two, now I have to give James Bopp a nickname. I’ve got it! Bippity! Bippity Bopp. Works for me.

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31 Comments

Filed under 2008 election, Barack Obama, Congress, Dick Cheney, humor, John Boehner, Jon Kyl, Lamar Alexander, Mitch McConnell, movies, NRA, parody, politics, Republicans, Rush Limbaugh, Senate, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

31 responses to “Heady Lamar

  1. Can we get a fast train to socialism instead of marching? Because you know, the French, they get like 39 days of vacation a year and free health care. Do you know what it’s like hearing them brag to you while you’re enjoying your whole 10 days of vacation in their country.

    I know a couple, the wife needs surgery. It’s going to cost her thousands of dollars, and they don’t have insurance. Guess what? I’m sure you know what’s coming. They’re against universal health care. I don’t know why exactly, but I suspect it’s a lack of critical thinking skills. At least, that’s my best guess. Why else would you vote against your own interests?

    • as you can see, awqm, i’m also upset over the whole marching deal. we should at least have our own segways to socialism.

      i honestly will never understand why people vote against their own interests. i know there have been plenty of explanations, but it still doesn’t make sense. i think a lack of education and fear stemming from misinformation and skewed religious beliefs play a big part.

    • “Do you know what it’s like hearing them brag to you while you’re enjoying your whole 10 days of vacation in their country.”

      I have a sister-in-law who’s Canadian, and a bill for $900 from the hospital for my son’s birth.

      Yeah, I know exactly how you feel!

      Funny thing about the French and all of that vacation time … don’t they manage a lower suicide rate, lower rates of depression, and fewer wars in Iraq?

      Seems like kind of a winning system to me.

  2. Dick Cheney’s Mother wore army boots- but he never did.

    WOOT!

    Steele needs to be the puppet on a string he was hired to be!
    Shut up & say what you are told to say!

  3. jeb

    It seems to me that the problem is not that Phathead is formulating policy, it’s that anyone over there would try too. Their only avowed policies are tax cuts cure all; Obama is destroying the country and lecturing everyone on morality while half of them are standing around with their zippers open.

    • the problem is that the only reason phathead is chairman is that they wanted a black guy for photo ops. mel martinez was chairman when they wanted a latino for photo ops, and they got pissed at him for talking about immigration. i don’t know why they wanted ken mehlman, since they weren’t going after the gay vote, and they would never have allowed him to come out of the closet. i don’t know why ed gillespie was ever chairman. they already had mitch mcconnell and david vitter, so they couldn’t have been worried about attracting chinless voters.

  4. If we’re marching to socialism, I volunteer to be drum major.

  5. “Not one out of ten escapes this social fault”
    What a tagline! I’m not talkin’ halitosis though, but ignorance. How is this not white people telling him his “place”? If Steele had any sense of personal dignity he would have resigned the first time they treated him like the house ni**er.

  6. Why, that’s the most lifelike portrayal of D-FERRDon a fence ever I’ve seen crafted, Nonnie. ;)

    As for Steele, those big square wheels might have tookerated his Playskool policy bullhorn away, but he can still holler treason with his big boy shorts on.

    ;>)

    • thanks darkblack! :) i’m thinking of giving up blogging and becoming a portraitist. i’m sure the rethugs can’t wait to get me under contract, as i always flatter them so.

      p.s. i have a feeling that phathead is wearing pull-ups underneath his big boy pants. :wink:

  7. writechic

    Cute picture! Reminiscent of the little rascals. Only these are down and dirty rascals.

    I almost feel sorry for Steele. Almost. He chose to ally himself with the hater party, yo.

    • sort of a cross between the little rascals and a norman rockwell painting.

      phathead is an idiot. the first time they treated him as someone who should be seen and not heard, he should have told them to go screw themselves and publicly and righteously chastised them for their bigotry. he would have gotten the attention he craves and would have been respected for taking a stand. too bad he’s such a wimp.

  8. Michael Steele

    Whoa, dude, you really tore the rag off the bush with that off the chain post!!!
    Though it’s a fact, jack, that some of the homies in the Grand Ole Partay might not be feelin’ me, I am here to tell ya that it’s them and not me who needs to be schooled!!!
    What I be bringing to the partay is a thumb on the pace of modern American peeps. Some of them fails to see that urban is the way to go–we needs to enliven the partay wit some hot tunes, hot chicks and right-on, off the chain non-Cheneyness.
    When peeps see me on the tube, they see a righteous dude who wants to put a fresh new face on the Grand Old Party. In fact I wanna change the GOP to the BNP–Brand New Party, that is.
    As to me not makin’ policy, puleeze, beeyitch!!!
    I am right now arthoring some hot new BNP policies, like:
    Health Care Reform: No More Hot Mess
    The Budget: Bust a Move!
    Education: Gettin’ Jiggy Widdit!
    With phat chicks like Meghan McCain and me, we can do this, man!!!

  9. David Gillaspie

    “I certainly agree with Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.), who said that Republicans “need to coordinate as much as possible” their message.”

    It’s all about that coordination; right, left, right, left. If you only go right, right, right, we’ll be hopping toward socialism, no march, no bullet train.

    Maybe that’s the idea behind Republicans in sports, like Rush and the Rams? Just want to get in shape.

    http://deegeesbb.wordpress.com/2009/10/16/rush-to-care/

    • hello david,

      welcome to the raisin! :D

      i’m sure rushbo’s wanting to buy the rams was all about fitness. we all know he would never resort to using drugs or getting a gastric bypass or anything else that money can buy. he’s always been the disciplined athletic type. :roll:

    • you’re the second person to point that out (the other was sardonyx over at the big orange). like i told him, dcAp, don’t rain on my parade. i was so very proud of my title (even though i knew someone was bound to hit me with the ‘that’s headly’ line).

      head·y
      adj. head·i·er, head·i·est

      […]
      2.
      a. Impetuous and rash: a heady outburst of anger.
      b. Domineering; overbearing: too heady to reason with.

  10. Apparently, no one gave Michael Steele the memo that he’s the Token Black Guy for the RNC. He was chosen because with Pres. Obama being elected, the GOP was in peril of looking completely unwelcoming to African-Americans. His job is to make that argument moot, and that’s all.

    This is the same mistake that the GOP made with Gov. Palin, whose job was to attract the mythical female voters who just supported Hillary Clinton because she was a woman and would be so mad at Obama for stopping the woman from winning that they’d vote for any woman.

    The GOP’s descent into irrelevance is accelerating.

  11. I think you meant head y cheese, Spanglish for smegma.

  12. Sorry. That really made no sense whatsoever.

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