Bob’s Your Uncle. No, Wait, Bob’s Your Replacement. No, Wait, Bob’s Your Boat!

From The New York Times:

BP officials on Saturday scrambled yet again to respond to another public relations challenge when their embattled chief executive, Tony Hayward, spent the day off the coast of England watching his yacht compete in one of the world’s largest races.

Two days after Mr. Hayward angered lawmakers on Capitol Hill with his refusal to provide details during testimony about the worst offshore oil spill in United States history, and one day after BP’s chairman said the chief executive would not be as involved in daily operations in the Gulf of Mexico, Mr. Hayward sparked new controversy from afar.

“He is having some rare private time with his son,” a BP spokeswoman, Sheila Williams, said in a telephone interview on Saturday.

Rare private time?  Have you seen how many people work on those yachts?  There were 1754 yachts racing.  Once again, private time?  If you want some private time with your kid, Tony, rent a friggin’ movie and don’t piss off millions of Americans!


Original DVD cover

But Rahm Emanuel, the White House chief of staff, who taped an interview for ABC’s “This Week,” called Mr. Hayward’s attendance at the race “part of a long line of P.R. gaffes and mistakes” that he has made.

“To quote Tony Hayward, he’s got his life back,” Mr. Emanuel said.

…snip…

On Saturday, Senator Richard Shelby, Republican of Alabama, called Mr. Hayward’s yacht outing the “height of arrogance,” in an interview with Fox News.

“I can tell you that yacht ought to be here skimming and cleaning up a lot of the oil,” Mr. Shelby said.

…snip…

But Mr. Hayward’s role in the gulf became the topic of further speculation on Saturday, even as Ms. Williams, the BP spokeswoman, insisted that Mr. Hayward was still in charge of the company and the enormous cleanup operations.

“Tony receives regular updates from the gulf,” she said in an e-mail message.

On Friday, the chairman of the board of BP, Carl-Henric Svanberg, told the British TV network Sky News that Mr. Hayward would be “now handing over” the daily operations in the gulf to Robert Dudley, an American who joined BP as part of its acquisition of Amoco a decade ago.

On Saturday, BP tried to clarify what Mr. Svanberg had said about the transition of leadership in the gulf. “What he meant by ‘now,’ ” Ms. Williams said, was that “there would be a transition over to Bob over a period of time.”

By Bob, I think she means Robert Dudley, not Tony’s yacht.

“Obviously, Tony’s main priority remains overseeing all BP operations,” she said. “Over all, there will be some responsibilities handed over, but Tony will remain in full control until we have stopped the leak.”

…snip…

BP said it was aiming to stop the leak in August, when two relief wells it is drilling will intersect with the damaged one. The company said on Friday that it was ahead of schedule on one of the wells and within 200 feet of the side of the damaged well, but that the drilling would proceed more slowly the closer it got.

…snip…

By then, Mr. Hayward was already in Cowes on the southern coast of England for the J. P. Morgan Asset Management Round the Island Race, a yacht race around the Isle of Wight. A spokeswoman for the race said in an e-mail message “that a gentleman by the name of Tony Hayward is a co-owner of an entered boat called ‘Bob’ that was racing today, however his name did not appear on any crew list.”

The boat finished fourth in a class of 45 others.

34 Comments

Filed under Congress, humor, parody, politics, Rahm Emanuel, Republicans, snark, television, Wordpress Political Blogs

34 responses to “Bob’s Your Uncle. No, Wait, Bob’s Your Replacement. No, Wait, Bob’s Your Boat!

  1. i wouldnt mind if Tony got a boat for a 3 hour tour where the weather started getting rough and he was trapped on a island that had lots of oil but NO food or water.

    • i bet the small people would help him, because they have more character than he does.

    • Tony is too much of a twit to be on Gilligan’s Island. He looks more like the type who’d be on the dog show circuit showing his prize Corgi bitch.
      Either that, or in the cast of one of those tedious British sitcoms they show on PBS at 2 a.m.
      That weak chin and those pinched nostrils-so veddy British. Twit City.

      • tony wouldn’t have survived on gilligan’s island, even if they other passengers resisted the urge to throw him off the minnow during the storm. he’s not as rich as mr. howell, so nobody would have served him drinks with umbrellas in them. he would have screamed like a little girl every time he saw a bug, and he would have complained that bananas and coconuts gives him the runs.

  2. writechic

    I love your poster! An instant classic! And wow, even Senator Shelby has his wits about him on this.

  3. it’s the same old story when it comes to execs…they haven’t a clue! they just know how to live in the lap of luxury.

  4. damn! the power just came back on. :idea: it was out for almost an hour. :shock:

  5. Heh, Tony Baloney is as tone deaf as Mr. Magoo is near-sighted!

  6. Great photoshop!

    Private time….. Aaack!

  7. He named the Yacht after VA Governor Bob McDonnell. They both share the same viewpoints and intense sexual fetish for oil…naturally his boat is named after him.

  8. If Mr. Magoo was running BP, that would sure explain a lot. A little known story is when Magoo morphed into Thurston Howell III, he had a love child with Ginger who grew up thinking he was Jesus! That’s right, none other than Vernon Howell of Waco infame. It must be true, I read it one the intertube. (right here, right now).

    • :lol: i think john ensign looks a little like thurston. the daddy who pays his mistresses and their husbands off is his adoptive father, not his biological father. and i’ve never seen a pic of his mother. she could be ginger!

  9. jeb

    I like Tony on a boat. I’d like Tony better on a boat taking him to some prison like Alcatraz. I’d pay to see Tony on that boat.

  10. Joanaroo

    Rumor has it Bob is the name of Tony’s little friend he plays with when he has private time.

  11. the daily sloth

    Did you see that hilarious cartoon by Luckovitch?

    http://blogs.ajc.com/mike-luckovich/2010/06/17/mike-luckovich-june-18-cartoon/

    So much material for satire…

  12. Pingback: A Few of My Favorite Zings | HYSTERICAL RAISINS

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