The Amazingly Hilarious Race!

From the Boston Herald (September 1st):

LIBERAL, Kansas – Colorado gubernatorial hopeful Dan Maes’ murky past in law enforcement in neighboring Kansas has become the latest distraction in his gaffe-ridden campaign.

Maes has claimed he was fired by the police department in Liberal in the 1980s because police and politicians were corrupt, and he told supporters that he worked undercover for state investigators gathering information on a local bookmaking ring.

But the Kansas Bureau of Investigation denies Maes ever worked for them, and Liberal’s police department won’t talk about Maes.

Liberal, Kansas! The irony deities are in fine form!

Original DVD cover
(Click on image and then on that for larger version)

His shadowy law enforcement resume is the latest distraction in a race in which Maes was fined for campaign finance violations and drew criticism over remarks that he would fire thousands of state workers.

Maes, who defeated former U.S. Rep. Scott McInnis for the GOP nomination, had previously said he was fired from the police department in Liberal — a community of 21,000 that is home to the Wizard of Oz museum — because he got too close to higher-ups. In a letter to supporters in August he went further, saying he was placed undercover by the KBI to gather information inside a bookmaking ring that was allegedly selling drugs.

Maes later acknowledged he was involved — but not employed — by the KBI.

…snip…

Bob Blecha, director of the Kansas Bureau of Investigation, said there is no record of Maes working for the bureau or as an undercover agent. He said there was an investigation of bookmaking in Liberal at the time but “it was unsuccessful.”

…snip…

Sheena Lynch, Liberal’s city personnel director, confirmed that Maes worked for the police department from Sept. 21, 1983, to July 12, 1985, but refused to discuss the circumstances of his departure. Liberal Police Chief Alan Sill, who worked for the KBI until 1996, also refused to discuss Maes’ performance as an officer, calling it a personnel matter.

…snip…

Retired Liberal Police Chief Rick Kistner, who now lives in Florida, said he doesn’t remember Maes or any bookmaking investigation. And Maes’ former boss, Sonny Ralston, who was chief of detectives at the time, did not return multiple phone calls seeking comment.

…snip…

In a story Wednesday, The Denver Post asked Maes about his claims of working undercover in Kansas — to which Maes responded that “those comments might have been incorrect comments.” He didn’t elaborate, but his spokesman, Nate Strauch, said Wednesday that Maes isn’t backing off his account.

…snip…

Maes, a businessman from the Denver suburb of Evergreen, rode tea party support to defeat McInnis in the Colorado GOP Aug. 10 primary. He faces Democrat John Hickenlooper, who is Denver’s mayor, and former Republican U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo in the general election.

Before the primary, Maes paid a $17,500 fine for improperly paying himself $40,000 from campaign funds for mileage reimbursements.

…snip…

Maes also raised eyebrows by telling a forum of energy leaders that he would fire 2,000 state workers “just like that” if elected. And he said a Denver bike-sharing program could threaten residents’ “personal freedoms” because it is part of an attempt to control U.S. cities. Maes said that an international environmental group that promotes Denver’s B-Cycle program is part of a “greater strategy to rein in American cities under a United Nations treaty.”

From POLITICO:

Top Colorado Republicans are attempting to convince gubernatorial nominee Dan Maes to drop his bid for governor by the end of Friday, a well-placed Republican in the state tells POLITICO.

In a meeting Friday morning, party chairman Dick Wadhams and other members of the state GOP executive committee met with Maes to present what one called “damaging evidence” that hasn’t yet been made public but would further erode his standing as a candidate, according to the source.

…snip…

A Maes spokesman indicated that the candidate was meeting with those who want him out of the race.

“Dan is listening to the concerns of those who believe he should stay in the race, as well as those who believe he should step aside. He has no plans to exit the race at this time,” said Maes spokesman Nate Strauch.

…snip…

He lost the endorsements of former Sen. Hank Brown and former state Senate president John Andrews.

Early Friday afternoon, GOP Senate nominee Ken Buck also withdrew his support for Maes, the latest signal that his time as a candidate may be limited to days, if not hours.

…snip…

Further complicating the GOP’s fortunes is former Rep. Tom Tancredo, who said he would only end his third-party bid if Maes stepped aside as well. Polls have consistently shown Democratic nominee John Hickenlooper holding a double-digit advantage over both Maes and Tancredo.

The Republican source said the timing of Maes’s potential exit is key in order to halt the printing of ballots while the party convenes a replacement committee to select another candidate.

“If the secretary of state learns about a change in candidacy today, they would delay ballot printing. This is the Hail Mary pass,” said the source.

…snip…

[Republican consultant John] Ransom said Wadhams and the GOP establishment should be blamed for what’s become a “fiasco.”

“Dick used party resources to chase every decent candidate for governor out of the race; he kept the McInnis scandal alive by chatting on background in the press about how McInnis ‘had to’ drop out; and finally all Wadhams can offer the party now is recycled candidates like Jane Norton, who just lost an election and Josh Penry, who didn’t even have to fortitude to make it through three months of campaigning for governor last year. It’s time to dump Dick Wadhams too,” said Ransom.

Guess what, kids! Danny Boy ain’t goin’ anywhere! From THE DAILY SENTINEL:

Republican gubernatorial nominee Dan Maes will march ahead in what his party chairman says is a virtually impossible task for the candidate: trying to recapture the governor’s mansion.

Maes, in a news release issued about 90 minutes before the Secretary of State’s Office was to certify the Nov. 2 general-election ballot, said he decided to remain on the ballot “after several days of deliberation.”

…snip…

A defiant Maes said in his own statement that he “listened equally to those who wanted me in this race and those who did not, and after internalizing that advice, I’m proud to say I’m in it to win it.”

24 Comments

Filed under Democrats, humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Tom Tancredo, United Nations, Wordpress Political Blogs

24 responses to “The Amazingly Hilarious Race!

  1. If things are as bad for Democrats as the latest Gallup poll indicates, then the best hope would be that the Republicans blow themselves up. Looks like they’re complying.

  2. Ahhh election years. A little early for self imploding… but I can almost hear the circus music in the distance.

  3. The idiocy of these people knows no end. Every day another layer of stoopid is revealed. Bookies selling dope? How about dope dealers making book instead. Won’t be able to decide untill this all is revealed in an episode of South Park.

    • sorry to take so long answering everyone. there was a giant clap of thunder, and my internets and cable tv immediately stopped working for hours. i’ve been running around all weekend, and i had to think up something to photoshop for tonight.

      i bet maes tries the new rethug strategery of running away from the press when they try to ask him any questions.

  4. Pretty sad when the first dozen names from the White Pages feels like a safer choice than a prevaricating clown like Maes.

  5. the real question is why ANYONE would even vote for him – even his stoopid wife.

    has no one learned that between the internets and youtube that NOTHING is hidden anymore

    we truly are a stupid country

  6. jMichael

    Maes’ “law enforcement” account is rip-off of Bush’s “Air National Guard” account. Perhaps the Colorado Supreme Court an appoint him to the governorship if the citizens of Colorado reject him.

    • hello jmichael,

      welcome to the raisin! :D

      i think there are special political resume services that help these asswipes inflate their accomplishments. i think politicians are living in another era, before everyone could check things on the internets or just in the news.

  7. Joanaroo

    Geezus! The GOPers lie so much, wouldn’t you think they could do it better than that? And what the hell is the paranoia about B-Cycle? Maybe Maes should look at the big meat and potatoes guts and butts of the GOPers and see it wouldn’t hurt them to have something else between their legs besides a prostitute or someone else’s wife or husband!

  8. GiGi

    Guess Mr. Maes continual calls into talk radio will cease. How can he go on radio and television without being confronted about his lies? I think the real race is between Mayor Hickenlooper and Congressman Tancredo. That’s going to be really interesting. Don’t need to hear anymore lies from Maes as his credibility is shot all to heck. No one wants to listen to what he has to say anyway. The debates will determine my vote between the two leading candidates Hickenlooper and Tancredo.

    • hello gigi,

      welcome to the raisin! :D

      i think maes is a goner. i don’t know a lot about hickenlooper, but he appears to be a decent man. tancredo, on the other hand, in my opinion, is a hateful little troll. every word out of his mouth is about hating this particular person or that particular group of people. even other rethugs hate him.

  9. Mike

    The Democrats are the party of welfare dwellers, illegal aliens, taxes (never met a tax they didn’t like), protectors of the rights of criminals instead of their victims, homeboys, the lazy, druggies, Wall Street, Union thugs, ambulance chasing lawyers, etc.

    • you mean people like michele bachmann who receives a subsidy from the government to the tune of $250,000? and the dems are the party of wall street? do some reading, asswipe. and if you want to talk about ambulance chasers and attorneys, have a chat with rick santorum and his wife who sued a chiropractor for a half a million bucks, because she said he made her back hurt.

      • Just wandering around the back pages looking for the KZD link and noticed that you are being harrased by an obvious conservative. You forgot to ask how important he is. And talk about his money, they get off on that. He seems quite worried that accused people actually get a trail and might lay awake at night worring that prisoners have rights. And he would certainly be angry knowing that sirlion and buttery potatos for my dinner tonight was purchased with a Lone Star card ! I just have one question Mike and I ask this of all conservatives: What do you do for fun?

        • i have pulp friction on my blogroll over at the big orange, so if you ever forget how to get there, you can click over there.

          don’t worry about anyone harrassing me. i can erase their comments with a click on the keyboard, so they don’t scare me. of course, i very, very rarely delete comments. in fact, i don’t remember the last one i deleted. mikey is a lightweight. he’s not even entertaining. i usually answer these guys once and only once. i don’t like to waste my time trying to reason with unreasonable people.

          • Yes, you very, very rarely delete and I have commented in my archive review how you have on almost all occasions turned into The Trollmaster, able to give calm, reasoned resposes to such a degree that they become civil and even see your point. And sometimes, they’re just assholes! And I also noticed this all tends to flare up the closer we get to elections.

            • i think certain candidates have troll patrols. they do nothing but google their names, and if anyone has anything negative to say about them, they swarm. i don’t understand the thinking behind that, because most of them are so nasty and stupid that they won’t change anyone’s mind. if someone comes along and just disagrees, that’s an entirely different story. when wken first came here, he didn’t agree with me on a lot of things, but he was always respectful and intelligent, and i always look forward to his comments.

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