I wouldn’t vote for her, I love lucid!

(CNN) — American politics has a photogenic new face with a troubled past of bad finances, potential fraud and a flirtation with witchcraft.

A previously unknown conservative activist named Christine O’Donnell is a sudden political sensation and Washington is trying to figure out what to make of her.

“Certainly she has some explaining to do,” Republican Congressman Mike Pence said this week.

Chrissssiiiiiiie!! You got some ‘splainin’ to do!!!!

Original DVD cover

O’Donnell is a new Republican Party nominee for November’s Senate election. She defeated a better-known career politician for the nomination with support from the Tea Party movement.

…snip…

As people learn more about O’Donnell, they’re wondering if she is the best kind of candidate to replace [more mainstream Republicans].

For years, she led a Christian campaign against sexual promiscuity and decried a diverse range of evils from masturbation to shared bathrooms for male and female students. Before that, she says she once “dabbled into witchcraft.”

She also reportedly dabbled into paying her taxes and home loan late enough to face legal proceedings. She has very little declared income and is facing a new complaint that she illegally spent more than $20,000 of campaign donations on her own living expenses.

…snip…

Many Republicans are nervous about candidates like O’Donnell, as undeserving of the party’s nomination and unlikely to win.

George Bush’s former campaign manager, Karl Rove, questioned her honesty and called some of her remarks ‘nutty.’ But after a barrage of criticism from party ranks, he endorsed her anyway.

…snip…

Tea Party personalities are taking a growing role inside the Republican Party despite opposition from many established Republican leaders.

The leadership may yet fight for control of the party. Or despite their reservations, they can support newcomers like O’Donnell. The Tea Party is winning a lot lately and the Republicans like to win.

And guess who endorsed The Chaste One! Mr. Viagra himself. From POLITICO:

An endorsement from a symbol of bygone centrist Republicanism, Bob Dole:

Christine O’Donnell’s message resonated with the voters, and to the surprise of many she defeated Congressman Mike Castle, who many of us thought would win. The primary is over and in my opinion it is time for voters to join hands and support Christine O’Donnell. The Delaware seat is important and the winner in November could well determine whether Republicans or Democrats control the Senate.

I find many of the attacks on O’Donnell to be personal and lacking in balance and fairness. If her campaign wishes I am willing to assist in a limited way since I am still a patient at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. I will have surgery Monday, September 27.

Dole, an aide said, is having knee surgery, and has contributed the maximum to O’Donnell’s campaign.

Liddy had better tell the doctors to cut down on ol’ Bob’s pain medication.

32 Comments

Filed under Chimpy, Christianity, Congress, George W. Bush, humor, Karl Rove, parody, politics, Republicans, Sean Hannity, Senate, snark, television, Wordpress Political Blogs

32 responses to “I wouldn’t vote for her, I love lucid!

  1. Kip

    Where’s Ricky Ricardo?

  2. So. Officially now. No one is too nutty or too dumb for the GOP.

  3. Joanaroo

    Does this mean Ricky can’t play with his Babaloo?

  4. Illegal use of campaign funds. Not paying taxes.

    Really, what do those things matter?

  5. Joanaroo

    You know, poor Uncle Walter is probably spinning in his grave. Walter Cronkite wasn’t fond of these extreme Right wingnuts, and he was not afraid to say so with his role as a member of groups like the Interfaith Alliance. He would probably ask why the media is coddling these people and acting like they actually are working for the people, when all they do is say things that would put people like John Q. Public in a room
    with people in white coats. I myself am tired of having the media tell me everything these people say and do, as if they are legitimate thinking people to be respected and not brainless, contradictory, hypocritical, self-righteous morons!

  6. jeb

    An acolyte of The Princess would spend $20,000 of campaign funds on personal expenses? What are the odds? And was it all at Nieman Marcus?

  7. kaylaspop

    Always wanted to gibe Bob Dole a loaded supository.

  8. Does this mean she wants to get in on the new act down at the Copa DC? Speculation has it that all this nonsense is just publicity for when Evil Rupert puts her on payroll and lets the chatterbox run wild. What she should be doing is re-establishing the Shaker Church as its new leader. They were strict and fervent. And the strictest rule was no-no nookie EVER. And thats why they all died off and went away. Who would have ever thought…

    • i think it was the tropicana. since the rethugs are nothing but a bunch of phonies, i think the niteclub should be called tang or sunny delight (i guess the latter, since the former might be interpreted as a nasty lady part, and little chrissie wouldn’t stand for that).

      i think all little chrissie really wanted from the start was a gig like princess sarah has on faux news. just show up for a few minutes a week to relate her heartfelts opinions (found daily on faxes from frank luntz) and get paid the big bucks.

      i don’t understand why the fundies love her and shrews like ann coulter and laura ingraham so. weren’t they put on this earth to be fruitful and multiply? instead, they remain single and barren. ingraham even decided to adopt kids but remain unmarried!

  9. a photogenic new face

    It seems painfully apparent that this is a big part of the fuss. Would O’Donnell be getting nearly so much attention if she weighed 400 pounds and had a wart on her nose?

    A hot-looking woman who talks about sex a lot (even if she’s against it) is inherently fascinating to males. But I thought most of us outgrew the urge to publicly make asses of ourselves over that by the age of 20 or so.

    Yes, O’Donnell is photogenic, but so what? She’s asking for votes, not a date. She’s an extremist crackpot theocrat like Alan Keyes or Fred Phelps, and that’s what’s important.

    There have been highly capable and qualified female politicians, including conservative ones. Golda Meir and Margaret Thatcher come to mind.

    The fact that flakes like O’Donnell or Palin are being taken seriously is evidence of a dangerous influx of hormonal adolescent foolishness into the sphere of political commentary.

    And guess who endorsed The Chaste One! Mr. Viagra himself.

    Rush Limbaugh? Well, you’d expect him to — What? Dole? Is he still around?

    • infidel, if little chrissie looked like virginia foxx, she never would have been on politically incorrect or any of the other shows she was invited to. she would have had to work for a living, and maybe she would have learned something along the way (not that virginia foxx has). it’s not only women either. do you think scott brown would have been elected if he hadn’t posed for playgirl all those years ago?

  10. do you think scott brown would have been elected if he hadn’t posed for playgirl all those years ago?

    Gosh, that’s a depressing thought. I was hoping women voters were a bit more sober about this stuff.

    • that was the only thing that made him at all interesting. he’s not smart; he had no new ideas; he wasn’t well-known. when did he start getting national attention? when someone dug up the old playgirl pic. it’s not that women are any more or less sober about this stuff. it’s that the so-called journalists go nuts over stupid stories. they’re too lazy to look for anything of substance, so they’ll push this crap instead.

  11. Joanaroo

    These goddamn idiot candidates and the state of the media are just the icing on the cake if they win seats and are able to make a majority in one or both houses. I guarantee the total demise of the US will be remembered as beginning when these guys would take office. We may think that won’t happen, and the Dems keep a majority, but with the idiocy of America, it don’t look good.

    • we’ll see. no matter what happens, keep in mind that everything will change again in 2 years. that’s what i try to remember when i start getting heartburn thinking that boohoo boehner could be speaker.

  12. Joanaroo

    Just sitting here being depressed and thought I’d pull out on of Christine’s favorite toys for her satanic dates. No, not a battery-powered toy, a Ouija board. Fun for a rainy, cloudy day! My hands on one side of the answer viewer, and my tuxedo cat Tuxi has her paws on the other side. OK, *Can someone visit us from the other side today?* Whoa! Here we go. B-o-b-b-y. OK, Bobby. Wait! I hear some scat. Must be a cool cat. OK, Tuxi. Whoa. D-a-r-i-n. Bobby Darin? Are you here? *Yes!* Wow, how are you?* Dead! No, I’m OK.* How is it on the other side?* Well, I made it to a good place, but sadly, Oral Roberts and Jerry Falwell made it there too. That makes heaven hell. That and when they preach or have on that damn Fox News!* Oh, geez.* Yeah, that Tea Party shit is even worse than the McCarthy era crap. You remember how I died?* Yeah, with a respiratory problem. You got so you had to take oxygen when performing and you’d go backstage. It weakened your heart right?* Yes. Well, I had my own insurance then and did OK, but nowadays I’d be damn scared, even though with today’s medicine I may have stayed alive longer. Tell you what. These people, like Batshit Bachmann, Obtuse Angle and O’Donnell scare the crap out of me! Gotta go put a scaring on some of these kooks! Be back later with a musical take on the morons!

  13. Joanaroo

    *Ooh-wee-ooh! Just got back from ringing Christine’s doorbell. And there really wasn’t anyone there when she opened the door.* Lucky you, Bob.* Remember Mack The Knife?* Hit it, Babe!* Oh, these Tea babes!/ They have no brains yeah./ And one’s worried about mice people./ Who have more brain than she does. Eek!/ Now these goofballs/ Want to set the US/ Back to the Stone Age/ And it’s because they have rocks in their heads!/ Now the Shrilla from Wasilla/ She’s a Holy Roller, baby!/ And she thinks she’s Shakespeare, yeah/ But that we say she must refudiate/ And that last one/ Mrs. Obtuse Angle/ Wants to control your reproduction/But she’s the one who should never procreate!/ Now anybody who votes for these losers/ Should be thrown the hell out of voting / And never be allowed to vote again/ Because the Tea Party is full of looney toons/ And we don’t want them IN D. C. TOWWWNNN! YEAH, bring all those Democrats back! How’s that?* Thanx, Bob!

    • your ouija board is a lot more fun than the one my sister dad.

      you know, it never dawned on me until i just typed it that ouija is yes in french (oui) and yes in german (ja). i had to google to see if that was the origin, and sure enough, it was! i still don’t know why it would be called a yes-yes board, though.

  14. Pingback: The Macaca Awards! Part IV « HYSTERICAL RAISINS

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