Crappy Birthday, Part 4: The Last Straw

Well, kids, if you’ll remember, I was hanging around the house trying to get away from all the hoopla over the 100th anniversary of Saint Ronald Reagan’s birth without much success (here, here, and here). I decided to head out to the supermarket. I thought that some grocery shopping might take my mind off things. However, as I was driving, I passed this billboard.

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:shock: Oh, geez, I almost drove off the road.

Hopefully, things will be better here at the store. Let’s see, I need some veggies. Hey, why is ketchup in the veggie aisle? That’s strange. Anyway, I need some green beans.

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:shock: It seems like nowhere is safe! What’s that nasty smell coming from the canned fish section?

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:shock: It must be packed in acid rain. Let me get some cereal. Surely, Grover Norquist and his Ronald Reagan Legacy Project wouldn’t be so callous as to target poor innocent high-fructose-corn-syrup-drenched children!

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:shock: Okay, I have to remain calm. I won’t let it get to me. There’s just one more thing on my shopping list.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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That’s the last straw!!!!!!!

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31 Comments

Filed under Advertising, Environment, humor, parody, politics, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

31 responses to “Crappy Birthday, Part 4: The Last Straw

  1. jeb

    Those green beans will give you gas.

  2. Friend of the court

    obviously that little black dog is one of those UC “mad dogs”, that were such a pain in the ass to governor Raygun.

    • i was thinking it might be barney. chimpy has to be pissed that he and poppy get ignored (or worse, get thrown under the bus) when the rethugs try to convince people that rethugs deserve to be in office.

  3. jean-philippe

    “Hell, it’s all fake!” :D

  4. Oh, and Reagan worked miracles by eliminating the Civil Rights division in the department of agriculture. He made black farmer land disappear.

  5. Ha! Good laughs here. I can’t decide if I like Ronnie Headrest better as the Jolly Green Giant, Fred Flintstone, or the Raisin Maiden???

  6. Pete

    Then there’s hair dye in those small, flat cans marked Kiwi Shoe Polish.

  7. dubya

    If you can find a good pic of GWB where he’s making one of his stoopid faces and put it on the quaker oats guy, it’s a hoot!

  8. Testing—testing—-this DSL has been in and out. Hope it keeps going—will catch up tonight—-miss my daily Raisin!!!

  9. Reagan can stay away from my jelly beans, and all other food stuffs! Give us some good, wholesome, commie food instead!

    • hello batoccchio,

      welcome to the raisin! :D

      i’m starting to wonder–did st. ronnie really eat all those jelly beans, or did he pick out all the black ones, melt them down, and wear them on his head? maybe that wasn’t hair after all.

  10. Hey Nonny (nonny)!

    I love it!!!!!

    And those asses who swore his hair color was “natural.”

    An actor!

    Natural!!!!

    See how excited you got me?

    Love ya,

    S

  11. Reagan makes for a good caveman.

  12. Yep’ it was ‘puter problems. The tech guy spent two hours running test, consolidating lines, etc-flashing red DSL on modem. Then, just as suddenly as it quit, for no obvious reason, it starts working again. Go figure. Ever notice the new Coppertone ad has removed the butt crack? Oh, how could you deface the sacred raisin box! I got one of those big ones at the store just for the picture of the pretty peasant girl with basket of grapes (one of your relatives? Or maybe…no, it couldn”t be..???) I need to get out and check the many vineyards around here for hot women.

    • sometimes political correctness goes a bit too far. i hadn’t really noticed the new coppertone pic (not that i was looking for it), but i googled after reading your comment, and i found it. it’s just not as cute, and it doesn’t make a point, because it looks like the kid’s been slathered in sunscreen and had no color at all.

      i still have nightmares about the raisin box. it wasn’t me who defaced it. i just brought it here to show everyone. it’s that damned legacy project. they put st. ronnie everywhere! :x

  13. usnthem

    Nonnie does Ronnie!

    I’m sooo glad the Gipper has been deregulated.
    I still remember him taking credit for the Berlin wall coming down.
    The American people got a bad, senile actor who thought he was John Wayne.
    But the real John Wayne knew when he was acting and went home after a shoot.
    Ronnie was just too deaf to ever hear them yell “cut!” and we got a Bonzo quality administration.

    • let’s get one thing very clear from the get-go–nonnie will nevah, evah, under any circumstance do ronnie or anyone related to him!

      too bad ol’ st. ronnie didn’t pick an actor who could actually act. st. ronnie was the john wayne of politics–highly overrated and hyped for no apparent reason. all myth, no meat.

  14. usnthem

    “all myth, no meat.”

    Actually, he was responsible for lots of meat… in morgues.

    -The bodies of people that lost their entire savings due to deregulation of the savings and loans.

    - The bodies of mentally ill people thrown into the streets to fend for themselves.

    -The bodies of… oops… there I go again.

    If ever there was a cowboy who needed more breaking than his horse, Ronnie surely was him.
    His removal of liberal arts programs (metal/wood/auto shops, drafting, electronics, home economics, etc) from high schools got us where we are now: A nation of people that can’t build or fix anything and can’t manage the credit card after they’ve bought all those foreign products.
    Welcome to Walmart!

    • and the rethugs want to put statues of him everywhere. they should take all the money they spend on statues and feed some poor people. whoa! that would make st. ronnie spin in his grave.

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