Waterloony

From The Slatest:

UPDATE:  Michele Bachmann defended her presidential campaign on Tuesday after making a gaffe in which she incorrectly claimed she shared a hometown with the actor John Wayne, a verbal slip up that left many wondering whether she was confused with “clown killer” John Wayne Gacy.

“The main point that I was making are the sensibilities of John Wayne, which is patriotism, love of country standing up for our nation,” Bachmann explained to CNN. “That positive enthusiasm is what America’s all about, and that’s of course my main point.”

Original DVD cover

Bachmann has a history of attention-grabbing gaffes. In January, she made headlines when she claimed that the founding fathers “worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”

In March, she said during a speech in New Hampshire: “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord.” (Lexington and Concord are in Massachusetts.)

But in Tuesday’s CNN interview, Bachmann made the case that the mistakes she’s made so far have been no more than verbal stumbles, and nothing to get worked up about.

When asked about a survey by PolitiFact.com, which found that she has made at least 18 untrue public statements, she responded: “Of course they were just misspeaking, and that happens. People can make mistakes, and I wish I could be perfect every time I say something, but I can’t. But one thing people know about me is that I’m a substantive, serious person.”

…snip…

Original post at 11:14 a.m.: Michele Bachmann on Monday officially kicked off her presidential bid using an Iowa campaign rally to tout her local ties, her small government bona fides and her Christian faith.

“I want my candidacy for the presidency to stand for the moment when ‘we the people’ reclaimed our independence from a government that has gotten too big, spends too much and has taken away too much of our liberty,” Bachmann said in Waterloo, a small industrial town where she was born.

…snip…

Over the weekend she scored a substantial victory by running a close second to Mitt Romney in a Des Moines Register poll of likely Iowa Republicans. Herman Cain was the only other GOP contender to garner double-digit support.

Given her conservative track record, Bachmann is seen as a key player in Iowa, a state where Romney and other more moderate GOP contenders have been less engaged.

The Minnesota congresswoman wasted little time Monday playing up her ties to the Hawkeye State.

“Everything I need to know, I learned in Iowa,” she told the crowd. “This is where my Iowa roots were firmly planted, and it’s these Iowa roots and my faith in God that guides me today.”

Bachmann made multiple mentions to her Christian faith during her morning announcement, saying that she is “profoundly grateful for the blessings that I have received both from God and from this great country,” and that “every American deserves these blessings.”

Too bad he didn’t bless her with a sense of history or geography.

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37 Comments

Filed under Christianity, humor, Iowa, Mitt Romney, movies, New Hampshire, parody, politics, religion, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

37 responses to “Waterloony

  1. johncerickson

    “Everything I need to know, I learned in Iowa.” Really? Iowa has an Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines? A State Department? Extensive knowledge in overseas trading and treaties? A multi-trillion dollar budget? Millions of foreclosures to manage? Hundreds of thousands of miles of roads, railways, waterways, and airports? And dozens of other things my drug-addled brain can’t recall?
    Wow, Io-way is a lot bigger than I though it was! Me personally, I’d like to see the new spacecraft coming from the Iowa Aeronautics and Space Administration! Where they gonna launch it from, the deck of the battleship Iowa docked oceanside in scenic Iowa City, Iowa? :D

    • “Extensive knowledge in overseas trading and treaties?”

      It has the Iowa Electronic Markets, which have been predicting presidential elections since 1988. The school hasn’t opened the 2012 presidential market yet, but probably will in time for the fall semester.

      “Me personally, I’d like to see the new spacecraft coming from the Iowa Aeronautics and Space Administration! Where they gonna launch it from, the deck of the battleship Iowa docked oceanside in scenic Iowa City, Iowa?”

      Captain Kirk will be born in Riverside, Iowa. Does that count for anything?

      • johncerickson

        Well, Neon Vincent, I stand corrected and educated. I was unaware of the IEM at the University. It looks interesting – I’ll have to check it out sometime later. Not tonight, though, having managed to strain my neck severely and requiring a lotta drugs and a good lay down.
        As to ol’ Jimmy boy, well, how about we call that a wash? Great leadership, but in our world, his cowboy style of diplomacy would probably get us nuked!
        And I’m still waiting to hear how the state is going to dock the USS Iowa. Anything like 3rd season of Seaquest DSV, where they found the sub in a cornfield? Better whistle up those UFOs, fast! :D

        • pass a few muscle relaxers over here, john. i don’t know what i did, but ever since i got up today, my back has been spazzing out like crazy, and i can’t sit or stand or do anything for more than a few minutes. that’s why i’m answering comments so sporadically. i apologize, kids.

          • johncerickson

            Well, I can’t say anything online due to Federal laws, but Email me on the side. I’m sure we can arrange something…..

            • i’m tempted, believe me. i thought that i’d wake up and feel fine today, but it’s even worse. dammit! i have stuff to do. my doc would give me a prescription if i asked him. i hate taking pills, so i’ll grit my teeth, lean on the heating pad, and hope for the best. maybe the trolls are sticking pins in agent 9999 voodoo dolls.

    • well, if john quincy adams could be a founding father at the age of 9, then botox batshit bachmann could have learned everything she needed to know by the time she was 12. howevah, how can she say she learned everything that she needed to know by the time she was 12 if she didn’t accept jesus into her life until she was 16? is she saying she didn’t need to know about jesus? who’s she been talking to then?

      • johncerickson

        Maybe it was Jesus. Jesus Rodriguez, the Mexican groundskeeper at the local country club. :D I’m seriously waiting for one of these whack jobs to suggest we need to break all ties with Mexico and Central America, because they’re Godless people who name their kids Jesus.

        • i’m waiting for someone to start whispering all kinds of crazy shit through the a/c ducts for bbb to do. pssst. michele, it’s me, g-d. at your next campaign appearance, say that the founding fathers believed that hula hoops should be the only legal form of currency. oh, and tim pawlenty is really satan!

  2. I wonder if she knows that John Wayne’s real name is Marion Mitchell Morrison (born Marion Robertson Morrison.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wayne

  3. jean-philippe

    Bachmann is clever to mix stupid mistakes like John Wayne with the history whitewashing she’s doing.

  4. If conservatives pick her, they deserve to lose all 50 states.

  5. Ok I’m quoting a great Rolling Stones article about Bachmann:

    “And Bachmann is exactly the right kind of completely batshit crazy. Not medically crazy, not talking-to-herself-on-the-subway crazy, but grandiose crazy, late-stage Kim Jong-Il crazy — crazy in the sense that she’s living completely inside her own mind, frenetically pacing the hallways of a vast sand castle she’s built in there, unable to meaningfully communicate with the human beings on the other side of the moat, who are all presumed to be enemies.”

    ” While other Republicans floundered in the wreckage of the post-Bush era, Bachmann boldly presented herself as an unfazed, unbowed answer to Obama, leading the GOP charge to overturn the president’s two signature legislative efforts, the health care bill and Wall Street reform. That she hasn’t actually succeeded is beside the point; at a time when other Republicans seem weighed down by the party’s recent failures, Bachmann has pressed on like she isn’t even aware of them — which, of course, is a distinct possibility.”

    “At the republican debate at St. Anselm College in New Hampshire on June 13th, which marked the unofficial beginning of the GOP presidential race, Bachmann wiped the floor with the other candidates — admittedly not a terribly difficult thing to do, given that this may be the sorriest group of presidential hopefuls ever assembled. Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, Herman Cain, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich and Tim Pawlenty looked like a bunch of rumpled businessmen in a subway car watching an old lady get mugged, each waiting for the other to do something about it. Bachmann, by contrast, radiated confidence and energy — prompting Washington Post columnist Ezra Klein to wonder if he had been right when he half-jokingly suggested that “Michele Bachmann is the candidate Sarah Palin was supposed to be.”

    “Pawlenty and Bachmann have tangled for years over a variety of issues ranging from school standards to health care to a cigarette tax. Pawlenty reportedly views Bachmann’s decision to jump in and spoil his long-planned assault on the presidency as the equivalent to her having crouched over and peed in his Cheerios. Asked about Bachmann’s run, Pawlenty seethed, “I’m not running for comic- or entertainer-in-chief.”

    http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/michele-bachmanns-holy-war-20110622?print=true

    • i quoted that article in the other post. while i enjoyed reading it, i really wish that matt taibbi would tone it down a bit. there’s a lot of info in that article that would be important to people other than dems, but those other people will never read it, because he goes so over the top that it’s easy to dismiss everything he says as just partisan rhetoric.

  6. jeb

    So in honor of her declared hero, how about we just start calling her The Dukie?

  7. “I want the government out of my life and out of my crawl space. Say, anyone seen my 23 foster kids?”

    (And that’s when her campaign staff quits.)

    Rgds,

    Tengrain

    • i don’t even want to think about what might be in her crawlspace. not because of anything she might have done (she’s always on tv, so when could he have done anything?), but because her husband is just creepy. then again, maybe the crawlspace is where they hide all that socialist farm subsidy and medicare money.

  8. Lola-at-Large

    Wow, at least one little sexist blogger is obsessed with Michele Bachmann, eh? 3 posts in a row? What, afraid she’ll win if you treat her like a human being? Guess what? She’ll win because you won’t! I can’t wait to read that post.

    • i’m obsessed with botox batshit bachmann? i don’t go around the internets rooting out posts that pick on a dolt like the minnesota moron. so, fuck you very much for stopping by with your asinine opinion. this is the last time i’ll respond to you, so you decide whether it’s worth your while to comment again.

  9. Lola-at-Large

    LMMFAO! You are such an easy target. Hope you don’t talk to your mom, if you have one, with that mouth.

    • jeb

      The Bachmann campaign called and left a message that they want your help on Team Bat in New Hampshire. You need to report in immediately to help out in Lexington and Concord. Run now, this is the opportunity of a lifetime.

  10. Looks like troll season is starting early this year. It is unusual for Nonnie to comment so much on BB but the Bearwoman hasn”t said anything stupid in at least a week. My question is, if you are such a little blogger, wouldn’t that make you a harder target to hit? Now I hope you have learned a lesson from all this. Do not do a story about Mr. B getting that $140,000 from the government for the clinic. Don’t talk about the great sums of subsidy money for the farmland. Do not speculate which of those foster kids will end up selling a scandal story to the Globe or Enquirer for big money. Just today she was saying how terrified the White House is about her pending nomination and election to do God’s Work ™ and this must be true because word has it that Barrack had a secret meeting today with the leader of Al’ co-aa. And I must affirm that our Raisin spiritual leader does indeed have a mother and would never use coarse language, but the old man…??

    • i think it’s hilarious that the troll would accuse me of being sexist when she’s defending botox batshit bachmann, who is against a woman’s right to choose, who votes against equal pay for women, and who doesn’t think women are protected under the equal rights clause.

    • johncerickson

      I either have to hang around later, or get online earlier. I’m missing all the troll-bashing fun! Rats!

  11. “That positive enthusiasm is what America’s all about, and that’s of course my main point.”

    Only problem is Bachmann’s “positive enthusiasm” is all about hating, hypocrisy (saying welfare is bad, then come to find out they are rolling in Federal corporate welfare, big time), and a desire to stomp out separation of church & state.

    There is nothing sexist about speaking the truth, and since Bachmann put herself in the spotlight, it’s fair game to post about her & expose her lies & B.S. as much as you like. Hell do a 4th post in a row, just for fun.

    Here is an article for a springboard:

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43570552/ns/politics-decision_2012/t/bachmanns-husband-got-medicaid-funds/

    Tally so far:
    $137,000 Husband’s Medicaid profit
    $ 24,000 Federal Employee traing $
    $161,000 Husband billed to Human Services
    $260,000 Farm Subsidy (MB is a partner in ownership)
    ——————————————————-
    $582,000 in Government $$$$ for the candidate who hates government welfare.

    Wow!

    I’d like to see a graphic w Michelle @ the trough !
    More than 1/2 million bucks in government welfare
    Plus the article talks about how the husband uses faith based counseling.
    Separation of church & state should disallow the husband from taking these funds anyway if his counseling is faith based.

    Oh right! Rules don’t apply to the Bachmanns.

    • it just so happens that i have another bbb poster ready. it’s not my best, but it was requested by a new raisinette, and i promised i’d try. i was going to post something entirely different with a whole other cast of characters, but since it will bother the troll, and since my back is friggin’ killing me, and i don’t think i could do any photoshopping today, i’m going to post it.

  12. :shock: John Wayne Gacy Waterloo welcomes you? I’m scurred.

  13. johncerickson

    Okay, this isn’t about ol’ BBB, but a gent I follow has a great blog entry on Romney. Check it out, it’s a hoot. And pay no attention to the weird commentary from some goof in an Army hat, talking to a goat……

    http://tyrannyoftradition.com/2011/06/29/mitt-romney-claims-he-was-abducted-by-evil-liberal-twin/#comment-973

    Enjoy!

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