Gingr-itch, Starting from Scratch

From POLITICO:

Newt Gingrich has been trying to demonstrate an effort to rebuild his campaign, and one way was by getting his first finance co-chair in Iowa since the mass staff exodus of a few weeks ago.

Aides to Gingrich said he asked Greg Ganske, a former congressman who served in the House during Gingrich’s tenure as Speaker, to serve in the position during a tea party event in Indianola.

Ganske has been out of Congress for several years, but Gingrich has made clear he plans to try to make a renewed effort in the Hawkeye State, spending a string of days there this month and next in the lead-up to the Ames Straw Poll.


Original movie poster

(Scroll down for larger version)

When I add the bling, Photobucket makes the poster smaller, and it doesn’t matter how large the original is. So, for those who are worried about getting wrinkles around your eyes and don’t want to squint as much, here’s the original non-blinginated version:

From POST POLITICS at The Washington Post:

Newt Gingrich thinks he can revive his debilitated campaign by talking about Alzheimer’s. So at a private fundraiser last week in Newport Beach, Calif., he devoted much of his speech to the disease.

No wonder he’s worried about Alzheimer’s.  He’s already forgotten that almost everyone hates him, and his career in politics has been dead for years.

For most presidential candidates, Alzheimer’s is a third- or fourth-tier subject, at best.

But as Gingrich sees it, Alzheimer’s, as well as other niche topics such as military families’ concerns and pharmaceutical issues, are priorities for passionate patches of the American electorate.

…snip…

In this living-off-the-land phase, as he struggles to regain financing and his footing in the evolving 2012 field, Gingrich is trying to find his voice. More often than not, it’s on Fox News Channel, where he promotes his ideas big and small, hoping that something might catch on.

Gingrich’s public schedule last week included no campaign events but featured at least six media appearances: three on talk radio and three on Fox, the cable network where he has appeared on air some 800 times over the past decade as a paid analyst.

On Monday, Gingrich told Fox anchor Neil Cavuto that he is determined to reach “people who are interested in topics other than traditional politics.”

…snip…

Gingrich’s friends and advisers said the challenge for a candidate who generates a potpourri of ideas is to figure out which ones will resonate.

That’s what’s known, in non-political circles, as throwing shit against the wall and seeing what sticks.

Rep. Michael C. Burgess (R-Tex.), a Gingrich endorser, said, “When you’re in the room with him, ideas come up so fast and furious that sometimes it’s a little difficult to grab them.”

One exception, Burgess said, is Alzheimer’s.

“The speaker gets that probably better than anybody else,” he said.

After Gingrich announced his candidacy in May, his first speech was to a convention of Alzheimer’s advocates. There, he warned that the disease could cost the government some $20 trillion over the next four decades. He told the industry group that Alzheimer’s research is “grotesquely underfunded,” and he pledged to invest more public money in finding a cure.

That, of course, has nothing to do with the contributions he gets from the health care field or that he had 5 Big Pharma lobbyists working for him when he was speaker or that former aides went on to be Big Pharma lobbyists in 2001.

After Gingrich announced his candidacy in May, his first speech was to a convention of Alzheimer’s advocates. […]  He told the industry group that Alzheimer’s research is “grotesquely underfunded,” and he pledged to invest more public money in finding a cure.

But soon came the headlines about his $500,000 credit line at Tiffany’s. Then he and his wife, Callista, went on a cruise in the Greek isles. And then many of his staffers walked out on him.Now, angling for a comeback, Gingrich is trying to shift the focus back to his ideas.He has started talking about his family’s military background as a way to try to reach out to other military families.

But I bet that he never mentioned that his chickenhawk ass got deferments so he never had to serve.

Some of Gingrich’s former advisers said they abandoned the candidate because he was not willing to invest enough time on the ground in the early-voting states. Last month, Gingrich visited Iowa once (a recent stop in Indianola) and New Hampshire once (touring a business in Hudson) but did not visit South Carolina.

…snip…

The new campaign manager is Michael Krull, a longtime Gingrich hand who leads what Hammond described as a “scrappy” team of “about a dozen upbeat and cheerful warriors.”

Gingrich, too, is stepping up his pace, saying he plans to spend 16 days in Iowa in July and August, starting with walking in Clear Lake’s July 4th parade.

Still, Fergus Cullen, a former New Hampshire Republican Party chairman, warned that Gingrich would struggle if he is seen as taking shortcuts.

“The candidates who do the best find that there are no shortcuts,” Cullen said. “If Gingrich thinks he can just do it on Fox News, then all he is is an advocate — an advocate for his ideas — but he’s not a presidential candidate.”

Cullen, in an interview last week at his Dover, N.H., home, said he is a fan of Gingrich’s. He pointed to four of the former speaker’s books on his shelf. But, Cullen said, “it’s hard to take his campaign seriously these days.”

31 Comments

Filed under Congress, Fox News, humor, Iowa, Media, movies, New Hampshire, Newt Gingrich, parody, politics, radio, Republicans, snark, South Carolina, Wordpress Political Blogs

31 responses to “Gingr-itch, Starting from Scratch

  1. lol… cool post, nice work.

  2. jeb

    I also have oodles of ideas swirling around Newtie. Hire the Princess. She’s hanging around in Iowa for no discernible reason, she’ll get you lot’s of airplay (remember, there is no such thing as bad publicity) and she’s a professional quitter so the outcome won’t bring any unexpected surprises.

    Seriously? He needs a paid staff? He should send some of that Tiffany’s credit my way (my new wife needs some bling) cause I can help him out as well as those bozos.

  3. johncerickson

    Love the poster! Though I’m trying to figure out the differences between the small and large versions. Then again, I’ve needed glasses for about 2 years, so…. :D
    Alzheimer’s, eh? That could explain a lot. Like, he forgot he had to campaign and went cruising instead, or he forgot he owed Tiffany’s all that money. Besides, he could always use it as a campaign tool. When asked an embarrassing question, he can just pull on Ollie North! ;)

    • if you look really close at the smaller version, you’ll see that the diamonds are sparkling. it really pisses me off that photobucket resizes the images when you add animations.

  4. no matter how many times newtie starts over – he is still an ass with zero chance of getting the nomination. but maybe it is the only way to get calista to be his ‘wife’

    • it’s the only way for him to make a living. if he’s not running for anything, then he has no relevance, and he can’t sell his shitty books or movies.

  5. Snoring Dog Studio

    Alzheimers, huh? No offense to any readers who have first hand knowledge of it, but diabetes is going to cost this nation far more than Alzheimer’s will. Gingrich’s farts must be the origination of his “non traditional topics” cuz lord knows where else they’re coming from. Wait. Unless, Callista is the brain child behind this brilliant strategy – that explains everything. Funny post, nonnie!

    • and obesity causes diabetes and heart disease and a lot of other nasty things. if people had proper diets, our health care costs would be a helluva lot lower than they are now. preventing disease is a lot cheaper than trying to cure it.

      i think newtie has a deal with some pharmaceutical companies. if he keeps pushing for more money to go to big pharma, they’ll keep callista soaking in botox.

  6. Friend of the court

    you know how much i like the bling, nonnie. but, my heart belongs to the little dog. :-)

    • i was hoping that someone would notice the little dog. dogs are very good judges of character, and that little one is spot on in his assessment of newtie. :D

  7. When he was at that 4th event parade, it looked like he was wandering around lost. And now he will lose crucial racist elements to Duke who is now in. Get that big tent ready, more Moes a comin!

    • this made me laugh my ass off, jerry. it’s from the boston globe:

      The contrast with Bachmann was stark in Clear Lake yesterday. As a former elected official, Gingrich was given the 30th spot in the parade – far back from the Minnesota congresswoman’s 10th-place start. He walked at a meandering pace, trailing a turquoise convertible with a handwritten “Go Newt’’ sign taped to the side.

  8. Alzheimer’s sufferers are a natural constituency for Gingrich. Only people with severe memory problems would be likely to vote for him.

    Love the dog — looks like that’s his way of telling Gingrich that he, too, quits. Everybody who works for Gingrich quits. Palin should get a job with him — at least when she quit she wouldn’t stand out.

    D for Delusional is right. Gingrich doesn’t seem to grasp that he’s sunk from the ranks of serious candidates into the (already-too-large) comic-relief contingent.

    • i didn’t look at it from that side, infidel, but very good point. he’d have to count on people who have forgotten his record and his ugly statements and his dismal personal resume.

      by the way, the doggie never worked for him. dogs are much too smart to ever get into a camp like newtie’s.

      newtie doesn’t really care that he won’t win. he knew from the beginning that he wouldn’t. this is just his way of keeping himself in the news so he can sell his shitty movies and books. he’s a has-been, and he’s desperate for money so he can continue to take cruises in the greek isles and to shop at tiffany’s. plus he has to keep callista in botox.

  9. Newt’s campaign is now so pathetic that I have a hard time poking fun at him any more, so I’ll change the subject.

    Gotta Laff over at Political Carnival has taken to emphasizing Mitten’s real first name–Willard. That means that the Romney-Bachmann race is now Ratman vs. Batwoman. So, should I start dedicating Michael Jackson’s “Ben” to the Romney campaign?

  10. “Fat chance Fat Head.” :lol:
    Seriously. It’s over. The media is barely paying attention to him anymore. He should have taken his campaign staffers quitting as a sign.

    • is it okay if i keep hoping they’ll put the paddles on him and turn up the juice just so that i can watch him wiggle as they try to resuscitate his campaign?

  11. As Slovenian Philosopher Slavoj Žižek said yesterday on Democracy Now!, Newt Gingrich is real ‘scum of the earth’ material. Priceless! As usual, great work nonnie.

  12. jean-philippe

    Hey Nonnie… I was wondering if you ever used “Raging bull” to cover the news… For, you know, something like that…

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/07/06/991803/-Jeff-Sessions-defense-of-millionaires-is-rather-pathetic

  13. :: sighs ::

    Call it a day, Newt! This campaign is going nowhere fast.

    Nonnie9999 — Jean-Philippe’s comment got my thinking as well. Have you ever used the cover for LAWRENCE OF ARABIA for any of your satire?

  14. okay, this’ll drive me nuts. why does that work? lemme try another one.

  15. well, i’ll be damned. i have no idea why some links work and others don’t.

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