Shrewish, Not Jewish

From NEW YORK MAGAZINE:

According to a thinly sourced, barely credible story in the Post today, some Jewish donors have shunned Mitt Romney’s campaign because, they’ve explained, they’re more interested in helping the GOP race’s Jewish candidate … Michele Bachmann.

Original DVD cover

“It’s a real problem,” an unnamed Romney fund-raiser tells the Post. “We’re working very hard in the Jewish community because of Obama’s Israel problem. This was surprising.” Yes, surprising is a good word for it. It’s true that Bachmann, a Lutheran who literally talks about Jesus all the time, has a plausibly Jewish surname. She did spend some time on a kibbutz. Like every GOP candidate, she would lay down in traffic for Israel.

(Video proof that Botox Batshit Bachmann is not Jewish at the NEW YORK MAGAZINE link)

This is from Uncle Rupie’s shitrag the New York Post article:

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney is facing a new challenge: He’s having trouble raising money from some Jewish donors who mistakenly believe one of his opponents, Michele Bachmann, is Jewish.

Some Jewish donors are telling fund-raisers for Romney, a Mormon, that while they like him, they’d rather open their wallets for the “Jewish candidate,” who they don’t realize is actually a Lutheran, The Post has learned.

…snip…

Like other Republicans, Romney is trying to capitalize on President Obama’s waning support among Jewish voters, who are upset with his administration’s policies toward Israel.

Romney moved to quickly position himself as an alternative to Obama among well-heeled Jewish contributors in places like New York, New Jersey, Florida and California — a group Obama locked down in 2008.

Romney has been pushing the message that he is a common-sense, business-minded candidate who is a strong supporter of Israel.

The message was among the reasons he was atop the polls until last week, when Texas Gov. Rick Perry bested him in the latest surveys.

Now, with this latest hiccup among Jewish donors, some in Romney’s camp have been wondering whether Bachmann and her allies are pushing the “Jewish” rumor to help their own fund-raising, sources said.

…snip…

[In a speech to the American Israel Political Action Committee last year, Bachmann said] “I am a Christian, but I consider my heritage Jewish, because it is the foundation, the roots of my faith as a Christian.”

Bachmann also told an AIPAC gathering earlier this year that she and her family make sure each year to attend at least one Jewish-theme play or movie.

Marcus, get the kids, it’s Jew night!

Then there’s this from the Erik Wemple Blog at The Washington Post:

In an interview Tuesday afternoon, Bachmann spokesman Doug Sachtleben said the first he’d heard of such a notion was when he got the call from the New York Post.

…snip…

So the Erik Wemple Blog has begun excavating the story. The logical approach appears to involve looking up Bachmann donors and asking some questions. Each call entails a messy, multi-step inquiry, as follows:

First: Find someone on the donor rolls who could be Jewish.

Second: Find a number and call that person.

Third: Try explaining the really weird reason for your call.

Fourth: Ask the person if he/she is Jewish.

Fifth: Confirm that he/she is a Bachmann donor.

Sixth: Ask if he/she was under the impression that Bachmann was Jewish.

Repeat.

After several calls, the Erik Wemple Blog succeeded in connecting with a donor who the Erik Wemple Blog thought might be Jewish. She wasn’t. She’d grown up as a Southern Methodist and her husband grew up as a German Lutheran, though they now consider themselves “classical Christians.” And she didn’t think Bachmann was Jewish.

We’ll keep dialing till we can corroborate the New York Post story or until Halloween, whichever comes first.

So, kids, what do you think the Post is up to?

Tip of the hat to Neon Vincent for letting me know about this story.

51 Comments

Filed under Barack Obama, Christianity, humor, Jesus, Mitt Romney, Mormons, movies, parody, politics, religion, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

51 responses to “Shrewish, Not Jewish

  1. jeb

    Mentl!? ROFLMAO!

    If they stop believing Batshit is Jewish, she can always go out and coopt Lieberman. He’s looking for someone new to suck up too since his hero, CU, ran out of gas. I think they’d be a natural team.

    • when i read the story, i tried to think of “jewish” movies. i discarded a couple, and then yentl sprang to mind. i hadn’t even looked for a poster yet, but i immediately decided that i had to use mentl as a title, and i would adapt any poster in order to do it. then i hoped that everyone else would find it as funny as i did.

      • maggiejean

        Well, my friend, you did very well. Mentl is purr-fect for Bachmann. She certainly has some mental issues.

        • i wish she was looking more towards the front, because then her batshit eyes would have been more prominent. that said, i would have sacrificed everything just to use that title, maggiejean. :D

  2. elizabeth3hersh

    This is my favorite post ever nonnie!! Pure genius!! The entire mishpucha is howling!! In all fairness, a Bachmann administration would probably be much more favorable to Israel than the frenemy state of Obama’s administration (can’t seem to forget Obama’s steely-eyed facial expression when talking to Netanyahu…frickin’ oil and water); of course, for all the wrong reasons (fanaticism and Biblical literacy), but would it matter to Israel?

    Love this post!!

    • thanks elizabeth. i figured members of the tribe would appreciate it.

      a botox batshit bachmann administration (pttoooieee) might pander more to a netanyahu government, but it certainly would not be better for israel. she would piss off the muslim countries in the middle east, and they will take it out on israel.

      • elizabeth3hersh

        Point well taken. I’ve always wanted to move Israel to Arizona or Florida and leave the right-wingers to duke it out. When you take religion out of the equation, everything is so much clearer (and easier). I’m still a Zionist at heart (fricken’ location, location, location).

  3. John Erickson

    Well, if she’d go wander in the desert for a while, I’ll gladly accept she’s Jewish. Otherwise, I say buy her some airline tickets and send her on a foreign “meet and greet” to Auschwitz. It should only take about 48-72 hours before she says something so offensive, Israel launches a jihad on her.
    (Yes, I’m aware jihad is Arab. I just figure she can irritate Israelis enough to go Muslim on her butt. Kinda like Sammy Jackson’s going Medieval on your butt.)

  4. Aw Nonnie admit it, you just picked this up so you could use that poster — and it is a good one!!
    maybe Uncle Rupie overheard this at a cocktail party and thought it was a joke worth repeating

    • edgyleh, you’ll see in my response to jeb that this poster was a certainty once i thought of mentl.

      i don’t know what the post was trying to accomplish. of course, they wanted to take the opportunity to say that obama is horrible on israel, and all american jews hate him. they also used the occasion to remind people that mittsie is mormon and to insinuate that jews don’t like him (so why should “real” christians feel guilty for disliking him, too?). notice that they didn’t say anything negative about gov little ricky goodhair, only that he was beating mittsie in the polls. of course, i’m reading between the lines, but my spideysense says that the post is up to no good.

  5. Gotta love that title. “Mentl.” You are a genius.

    Bachmann also told an AIPAC gathering earlier this year that she and her family make sure each year to attend at least one Jewish-theme play or movie.

    Could she have been more patronizing? I mean, REALLY?

    • i have to admit, wken, that i patted myself on the back for that title!

      all she left out was that some of her best friends are jewish. i wonder how long before she starts wearing a star of david like princess sarah.

  6. Oy Vey! What next? Bachmann will be singing the Dreidel song on her campaign tour stops? Maybe she can find an Elvis version?

  7. She suffers the same grand naivete’ that idiots like Falwell showed so well at the big Jamestown multi-centennial back a few years ago before he croaked. He went on and on about religious freedom being established by the settlement and really could not understand that the Catholics who were there would have him put to death for heresy. This current bunch of self righteous could be confused with the worst of the old book but they are not even close to Hebrew, more like the Gnostics, the dominant sect in ancient times. The appeal is quite simple: tough guy messiah who kills anyone that gets in his way and all the appeal of a secret society of only insiders. “Those that say don’t know, those that know don’t say”.

    • is it naivete, or is it arrogance? i don’t think any of these bible-thumping fanatics are bible scholars. i don’t think they’ve every done any actual thinking about what’s in the bible and what it means. instead, they find the loudest self-proclaimed preacher, and they soak in the propaganda. that’s why they can never answer the simplest question. instead, they throw out a bible verse they think is applicable. the imbecile congresscritter, lynn westmoreland, wanted to post the 10 commandments everywhere, but he couldn’t even list more than 3 of them, and i don’t think he was too sure of those 3. hell, i’ve never read the bible, but i could tell you what the 10 commandments are.

      • Naivete or arrogance? The correct answer is YES! Trouble with modern times is some commandments seem to change their meaning like “Thou shall not covet thy neighbors ass” would require explaining to a younger person.

      • Some of them can quote a whole lot of chapter and verse but they have no clue what any of it means since they are literalists. I went to college for about 9 months with these people. I can look back and laugh but I was too young and dumb at 18 to say “thank you” when the Dean of Students questioned me about accusations against me of witchcraft; or to laugh out loud when the president of our student body, standing on the stage in Wed. chapel, wanted our forgiveness and God’s forgiveness for the sin of masturbation in his life. I have a long list of these incidents. Finally, I had to tell the girls on my dorm floor that if they prayed for me in prayer meetings without my written permission, I would come after them, no holds barred.

        • hello cimabuehw,

          welcome to the raisin! :D

          i would love to hear more of your stories. those were hilarious, though i imagine it might have been a bit scary at the time they happened.

          hey recite bible verses like a baby repeats words. they might sound right, but they have no idea what the words mean.

          hope you’ll visit again soon, cimabuehw, and tell us more of your college stories. :)

  8. Thank you for the hat/tip. I’m pleasantly surprised to have inspired you!

  9. gregg

    been without the intertubes for awhile due to the Irene. this one on michele is great!

    • omigosh! i didn’t know you were in the path of irene, gregg! i hope that your family all came out unscathed and that you didn’t have a lot of property damage. welcome back!

  10. Every thing we hear associated with Bachmann has an element of the bizarre and looney accompanying it. Much of it is self-inflicted, but a lot of it comes out because the Tea Party and Republicans are feeding on each other. If there were any serious issues to consider from either of those party, they sure are getting lost in all this nutty stuff going on around them.

    • everything we hear from botox batshit bachmann has an element of the bizarre and looney, because she’s bizarre and looney. she’s always been on the fringes, even before the tea party. as for the rethuglican party, i think they’re happy that everyone is distracted by the silliness, because that distracts from everyone noticing that they aren’t getting a damned thing done that’s actually good for anyone except corporate donors.

  11. It’s all about the distractions– Elvis & John Wayne (or Gacy), or even that God is throwing Mother Nature at us to tell the politicians to get it together.
    It’s much easier for the other crazy one to have the Paul Revere discussion (insisting she did not get it wrong), then to say how she would handle the jobs crisis.

    • bbb has been hoisted on her own petard. she’s been a media whore ever since she got into politics, and now all that media attention that seems to be her only reason for living is showing all the cracks, and there are sooooo many.

  12. I got the biggest kick out of this one Nons!! It makes me think of a recent episode of “Curb” when a character on the show with a Jewish sounding name built up his Jewish clientele by also acting “Jewish”, until he was outed. Hilarious.

  13. Awesome title and “choot-spa” cracked me up. :lol:
    Dang she’s getting support just because of her last name. Wow.

    • the story was bogus, little spinny. the double N at the end of her name is a dead giveaway that she’s not jewish. the post is up to something, but i don’t know what it is.

  14. this is ONE of your best – MENTL – it has to have barbara going nuts (you should use the movie Nuts – you dont even have to change the title)

    problem is bachmann is no more mentl than any of the other hitler youth running around begging for teabagger dollars

    • thanks, dcAp! i really think there was divine intervention on this one. yentl and mentil occurred to me so quickly, and my mind is not as sharp as it used to be, so there has to be another explanation. :wink:

      i’ve almost used nuts a dozen times. however, there’s only one cover, and there were logistical problems each time. it’s one of my mom’s favorite movies.

  15. Pingback: Spincredible Scribbles™ – I’m Post Pimping « Spinny Liberal

  16. the loon

    hey kiddo, your brilliance never ceases to amaze. you hit the choots-pot with this one.

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