Oops!

From Mail Online:

Oops, there goes Rick Perry’s bid for the Republican presidential nomination.

The Texas governor sensationally self-destructed in one of the most cringe-worthy moments in debate history last night when he forgot one of the chief elements of his own economic plan.

Trying to explain the three government agencies he would axe, the one-time Republican favorite crashed and burned as he tried in vain to remember them all.

‘Let me tell you, it’s three agencies that are gone when I get there. Commerce, Education, and the um, what’s the third one there?

‘Commerce, education and eh, eh…’

Rival Mitt Romney tried to help, suggesting, ‘EPA?’

That wasn’t it, said Perry, although he seemed unsure.

Ron Paul, ever ready to cut big government, put up five fingers and said the governor should eliminate five agencies.

While the other eight candidates – and the millions watching on live TV – continued to squirm, CNBC moderator John Harwood offered Perry the opportunity to redeem himself.

It would have been kinder to move on as the bumbling governor dealt the death blow to his faltering campaign.’The third agency I would do away with…the…ahh…Education…ahh…Commerce, and, let’s see,’ he added, looking down at his podium, ‘I can’t, the third one. I can’t. Sorry. Oops.’

Perry’s challenge had largely collapsed already through a string of lackluster performances in earlier debates.

It was another ten minutes or so before he remembered the third agency.

But by then, it was too late.

‘By the way he said, ‘that was the Department of Energy I was reaching for a while ago.’

After the debate, Perry’s communication director Ray Sullivan said: ‘We had a stumble of style but not substance.

‘It was good he was wearing his boots tonight because he stepped in it … We’ll get through this.’

Speaking to reporters in a post-debate appearance, Perry said: ‘Yeah, it was embarrassing, of course it was. But people understand our conservative principles are what matter.’

I think Botox Batshit Bachmann should find out if Governor Little Ricky Goodhair got a Gardasil injection and is now suffering from the side effects.
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57 Comments

Filed under humor, Mitt Romney, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Ron Paul, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

57 responses to “Oops!

  1. sorry so late, kids. just got home a couple of hours ago, and i had to do the poster. now i have to cook for the first time in my new oven. first time cooking with convection setting and first time using a temperature sensor. so exciting!! oh, and maybe i should eat dinner, too, since it’s almost 10:00 here. :D

  2. Yes, I’d like to get rid of the Departments of Commerce, Education and, ummm, the Ministry of Magic…

  3. Too many Aqua-Net fumes. Brain damage. :lol:

  4. jay

    Don’t ever stand behind Perry in a fast food joint when he tries to pick a trio.

  5. Both Krugman and I have the same video embedded. In Krugman’s case, he finally realizes that Molly Ivins wasn’t exaggerating when she called Perry Governor Goodhair with the insinuation that there wasn’t much beneath it.

  6. maggiejean

    Honestly, I cannot understand how the people of Texas keep electing this guy. It doesn’t speak too well for the intelligence of the citizenry. No wonder Texans don’t seem to care that their schools are awful.

    • maybe it’s a vicious cycle. defund education–> dumb down the electorate–>vote in politicians as dumb as the people–> defund education more–> vote in even dumber politicians…and the beat goes on. :(

  7. Love the tombstones, Nonnie … and the corndog shot! Nice touch.

  8. President Rick Perry giving a tour of the Oval Office: “And this button, here … this button … see, if I press this button right here, like this , it’d start World War 3 … Oops!”

    • did you ever see the princess sarah palin oval office, enderprise? here it is, and it’s hilarious. the people who made that should make a gov little ricky goodhair one. they can leave a lot of things as they are and tweak some others.

      thanks for noticing the tombstones and especially the corndog. :D i always wonder what people notice and what they don’t.

  9. The Jeopardy clip you have posted is a riot!

    Of course he forgot he wants to do away with…. the Department of Energy
    His Tex-ass version of “Drill Baby Drill”.

    Our local news just referred to his forgetful debate response as a “deer in the headlights moment”.

    How about the *Not ready for prime time* defining moment?

    • isn’t that video hilarious? :lol:

      of all the departments to forget, how could he forget energy? why didn’t his handlers give the idiot some kind of mnemonic device to help him remember? he really is dumber than chimpy. i didn’t think it was possible.

  10. elizabeth3hersh

    Reminds me of the first half of the lyrics of Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’

    Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
    To seize everything you ever wanted-one moment
    Would you capture it or just let it slip?

    His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
    There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti
    He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs,
    but he keeps on forgettin what he wrote down,
    the whole crowd goes so loud
    He opens his mouth, but the words won’t come out
    He’s choking how, everybody’s joking now
    The clock’s run out, time’s up over, bloah!
    Snap back to reality, Oops there goes gravity
    Oops, there goes Rabbit, he choked
    He’s so mad, but he won’t give up that
    Easy, no
    He won’t have it , he knows his whole back’s to these ropes
    It don’t matter, he’s dope
    He knows that, but he’s broke
    He’s so stagnant that he knows
    When he goes back to his mobile home, that’s when it’s
    Back to the lab again yo
    This this whole rhapsody
    He better go capture this moment and hope it don’t pass him

    Chorus:

    You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
    You own it, you better never let it go
    You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
    This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

  11. I know which movie poster would best represent my former governors: Dumb and Dumber. He must have absorbed extra dunce molecules from the former occupant in Austin. And why would we need a silly Dept. of Energy and even more so, a KNOWN energy policy. Look how oil played such a decisive role in wars and stratagies: Japan, on a shrinking 90 day reserve, start a big war and heads straight to Java. Or maybe the Army Group South making the big push to take Baku. The fanatical defense of Ploesti oil fields. The various Bush Babylonian wars. The marketplace didn’t decide any of these things. The way the gopers carry on you’d think selling the Indians repeating rifles and whiskey was OK, as long as the money is right.

    • How about Jackass 2?
      Cain being the original Jackass

    • forget the governors, what does this say about the people in texass who voted for them? apparently, intelligence and competency don’t count for much there. instead, a phony texas accent and some good ol’ boy bullshit about secession are good enough. it’s pretty frightening that so many people can be bamboozled like that.

  12. “Let’s see, when I become President, my cabinet will include Larry, Moe and … uh, uh … I can’t … OOPS.

  13. LOL … Love “The Other One” tombstone!

  14. From your lips to God’s ears, Nonnie. I sure hope this is the end of this character. Once it actually happens though, you’ll hear a blood-curdling scream from Anita (think: wicked witch melting scene from Wizard of Oz) when she realizes she’s not going to be the First Lady. I’m not a psychiatrist, but I’d be willing to bet donuts to dollars that her “I heard God say, ‘Rickie should run for president’” is more about her aspirations than his. When you look in her eyes, you can see her redecorating the White House. His heart’s not in it; I think that’s one of the reasons he keeps screwing up. He seems to be the type of guy who is such a “good ol’ boy” that he loves being where everybody loves him for his cronyism, his bad jokes, cigars, and hunting camps (signed rocks or no rocks). He’s gotten by on these “attributes” and his “looks” plus handing out business favors like they were water, and it works for him. We need to all encourage him to get out while he can by sending him the quote from Hamlet: “Sell yourself while you can; you are not made for all markets.”

    • i don’t want this to be the end of gov little ricky goodhair yet. i want him to stick around so he can do some smearing of mittsie. i want him to drag down every other rethug who is going to have to smile and defend his idiocy. once the election is over, though, i hope he stays in texas and keeps his stupid mouth shut. i also hope that texans are embarrassed. they should be.

      as for anita, i’ve never seen a more miserable-looking person. i’ve never seen her smile. this is just my personal opinion, but i think she hates little ricky’s guts. she puts up with him, because she thinks she has to. she sees herself as (and looks and sounds just like) the mom in ‘carrie.’ she thinks all this suffering on earth (her marriage to the idiot who may or may not be gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that) will secure her a place in heaven. it never occurred to her that doing good deeds for other people might do that, too.

      p.s. thanks for classin’ up the joint, eleanor, by goin’ all shakespeary! :wink:

  15. You know me, I’m always interested in the politics.

    People from Texas bristle when I refer to the Lone Star State as Taliban Texas or call the state the most radically, rightwing place on the map.

    But the fact of the matter is, the voters of Texas keep electing Rick “I’m a Prophet” Perry. Over and over they reelect this scalawag. The voters have the power to end his political career but they don’t.

    Maybe there is something in the water down yonder? Maybe a dead Zombie fell in their water system, decomposed and infected the water supply, so the brains of Texas voters are infected with the Zombie virus?

    It just doesn’t make sense. Unemployment in Texas is now 8% and a staggering 25% of people are uninsured. But Rick “I’m a Prophet” Perry is the pride of Texas. Go figure?

    • this is just a theory, but i think the bush clan has been pissing in the water supply, and it’s making all the voters stupid. deadeye dick cheney lived in texas, too, and his and lynne’s and lizzie’s and the other one’s evil probably permeated the air that people had to breathe.

  16. The idiot speaketh. The idiot goes down for the count. Who woulda guessed?

  17. Word I heard is he wants to eliminate the Lingerie Department.

  18. That image of Romney laughing on the cover behind Perry is priceless.

    • i figured that mittsie would find it the funniest. it was either him or newtie, and the guy on the dvd cover is way too skinny to be that bastard. yeah, i could’ve fixed that, but time was short, and i was lazy.

  19. John Erickson

    Something tells me what’s left of Parry’s brain was damaged LONG before the Aqua-Net OR Gardasil…….

  20. What is wrong with Texas? Well, the poster gives us the obvious answer. The place is a Hellmouth. Where’s the real Buffy when we need her?

    • i really have to watch a few episodes of the tv shows i use in order to know what people are talking about when they comment. i always have to google. :) according to wiki:

      Hellmouth is an area fraught with massive supernatural activity.

      not sure if this activity is supernatural, more like unnatural. :wink:

      • The point is, it’s evil activity, with a higher than usual amount of vampires and other monsters. I think that works ;)

        Your posters work perfectly fine without having to watch the TV show/movie itself. Buffy, though, was an amazing show and I highly recommend it.

        • I second that.

          We watch very little TV, but “Buffy” is one of our favorites.

        • i always heard good things about buffy, but i don’t really like the supernatural stuff. that said, very often when i dismiss a particular type of show, i see one, and i wind up liking it.

          and, yes, monsters take many forms. the most dangerous look like regular people.

          • I understand about the supernatural…but remember, it’s only meant to be fantasy. On the other hand, I’m apparently not the typical Buffy viewer either. I have frequently heard the show classified as being for the sci-fi type viewer, and I’m not a sci-fi/monster buff at all. Buffy is worth making an exception for.

          • I am a science fiction geek, but I don’t see “Buffy” as great science fiction/fantasy. I do see it as good writing. Characters actually develop, for example.

            And the writers are witty. I also do appreciate the reversal of the damsel-in-distress cliche. That the superhero-type is named “Buffy” and looks like she’d be rescued in any other show is a fun concept.

            I also like Joss Whedon in general. One of the things I like is that in an interview he was asked why he keeps creating strong female characters. He answered something like, “Because people keep asking that question.”

            As the father of a little girl, I appreciate that Joss wants there to be plenty of strong heroines out there.

  21. OK, Nonnie … Governor Goodhair did it again on the latest Rethug debate: ” … Europe has the ‘forewithall’ to deal with their own debt crisis.”

    Sadly, Perry himself didn’t have the “wheresight” to realize there’s no such word.

    • dang, i missed another one? that means i only get to watch the next 1,451.

      forewithall? seriously? when these imbeciles try to sound smart, they always sound dumber. then again, maybe he has to make up new words in order to get his point across, like princess sarah and shakespeare. :roll:

  22. Let’s be honest about it …

    If he knew why he wanted to eliminate things, he would have been able to name them, or at least figure them out. Rather, he was just prattling some old boilerplate that he didn’t understand.

    If having a big brain makes you lose your hair, then he’ll keep his perfect coiffe for years and years to come …

    • exactly! you don’t forget the things that you’re passionate about. gov little ricky goodhair was only repeating…well, trying to repeat what his handlers said polled well. that’s why the debates are, for the most part, a waste of time. they’re allowed to spout talking points without being challenged, so we can’t see whether or not they really know what they’re talking about.

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