Bewitched, Bothered, and BeWillard

From POLITICO:

Former tea party candidate and U.S. Senate hopeful Christine O’Donnell has cast a, er, endorsement Mitt Romney’s way.

…snip…

Mostly, O’Donnell is best remembered for the “I’m not a witch, I’m you” ad that she produced, through admaker Fred Davis (now with the Jon Huntsman super PAC), which was met with much derision.

Derision?  I wonder from whom.

flying monkey bats black cat witchOriginal DVD cover

UPDATE: Here’s the release the Romney campaign just put out on O’Donnell’s announcement.

“Christine has been a leader in the conservative movement for many years,” said Mitt Romney. “Christine recognizes that excessive government threatens us now and threatens future generations, and I am pleased to have her on my team.”

Announcing her support, Christine O’Donnell said, “For me, this endorsement comes down to trust. I am endorsing Governor Romney because I trust him to do the right thing. He has the strength of conviction to do the right thing regardless of opposition. America needs a president who is not a Washington Insider. America needs a president who hasn’t been playing the game for the last three decades. America needs a president who can turn our economy around, put Americans back to work, and will lead with stability, integrity and the values that we hold dear. I am confident Mitt Romney will be that president.”

I don’t know what’s funnier–Mittsie’s press release calling Little Chrissie a leader or Little Chrissie dissing Newtie.  Maybe she can put a spell on him.  Hmmm, where could she find eye of newt….OMG!!!!

O’Donnell made the “witch” ad after old video of her emerged from an appearance on the Bill Maher show in which she talked about practicing witchcraft. To many establishment GOPers, O’Donnell typified what they saw as some of the problems with the hard-right turn of the party in the 2010 elections. She’s also become a source of some derision, and I have a hard time seeing Romney, say, stumping actively with her.

It seems safe to say this release is a tangible sign of concern within the Romney camp about how to handle the Newt Gingrich surge.

I just want to add a huge thank you to the parody deities for this story.  You took away Hermie Cain, but you brought Little Chrissie back.  I’d say more, but I’m a little ferklempt and I may plotz from happiness.

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64 Comments

Filed under humor, Mitt Romney, movies, Newt Gingrich, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

64 responses to “Bewitched, Bothered, and BeWillard

  1. And why did someone feel important enough to cover a press conference or read a release from someone unimportant as O’Donnell. Love you line in the middle about not knowing which was funnier. Meanwhile, no way her legs are anywhere near Kidman’s!

  2. John Erickson

    So you’re saying, when God closes a door, he throws O’Donnell out the window? :D
    Maybe it’s your Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa present?;)

    • :lol: why throw her out a window. she can fly!!

      i think it was my early birthday present. :D

      • John Erickson

        Can I be so rude as to ask for the day of your birth? After all, we near-Christmas kids gotta stick together! (22-December, in my case.)

        • of course you can be so rude, john! :wink: my birthday is tomorrow, the 16th. oh, but it’s not really my birthday. for the last few years, it’s become present day. i can get presents, but i don’t have to get another year older.

          i never had to worry about being a near-christmas kid since i don’t celebrate xmas. however, my present day and chanukah often fall on the same day, and i always get screwed when it comes to presents. :( i bet you know exactly how that feels.

          • John Erickson

            Yeah, with 3 December birthdays out of four in my family, we all tended to feel a bit gypped. My mom (the non-December birthday) came up with the positively brilliant concept of making Thanksgiving the “December birthday” celebration! It worked great, and we kept that tradition up until the wife and I had to bail out of Illinois.
            But you shouldn’t be worried about calling them birthdays. You can’t be what, a day over 25? 26, tops? ;)

          • John Erickson

            Oops. I meant to add, Happy Birthday! (Since I don’t know when I’ll be online tomorrow – one of the last days of work for my wife, before her winter hiatus.) Or Happy Present Day, as you prefer. You DO realise you were born on the same day (but obviously not year) as the start of the great Winter Offensive, Wacht Am Rhein, which the Americans called The Battle Of The Bulge?

            • so that’s why my uncle hates me! he was wounded really badly in the battle of the bulge (and he really doesn’t like me in the least bit). your comment started to sound like one of frank’s posts.

              your mother is a very wise woman. it’s like telling kids who were born early in july that the fireworks really are for them. i think i got away with that for just a couple of years before the kid caught on.

              thank you for the present day wishes. if you want to know how old i am, you’ll have to cut off my leg and count the rings. :wink:

          • elizabeth3hersh

            I had logged off and was getting into bed and then remembered it is your birthday today (it’s after midnight…thanks John for bringing it to our attention)!! ♫ Happy Birthday nonnie!! ♫

  3. jeb

    Kind of like Jon Stewart on the night he covered Hermie dropping out. Everyone over at The Daily Show was so sad. And then the next night, manna from heaven because The Donald announced he would moderate the debates. Of course, he’s since dropped out be still, there was material to be had.

    O’Donnell? Where have I heard that name before and what’s more, why would I even give a shit?

  4. I can’t imagine the cultist, Willard “Mitt” Romney, would welcome the political endorsement of a witch?

    But, who knows? Willard flip-flops so often that by the time I finish typing this post he may have jettisoned Mormonism and embraced it with Wicca?

    Willard is desperate to be the nominee. He’s smart enough to realize that 2012 is it. If he fucks this up, there’s no chance for 2016 when NY Gov. Andrew Cuomo will squash any and all challengers.

    • :lol: well, being a warlock might go over big with the rethuglican crowd. they’d hate a peacelock, though.

      i saw a cartoon of little mittsie sitting on santa’s lap and saying what do you want me to want?

      it would have been hilarious if little chrissie had endorsed any of them. they’ve all had to nail themselves to crosses to get the fundie vote, and embracing a witch would make them all look ridiculous. by the way, i don’t think little chrissie was talking about wicca. she talked about bloody altars, so she was talking about satanism. wiccans are nature lovers, and they don’t do sacrifices.

      • To be honest with you, I suspect that the whole thing was made up.

        In the “parachurch ministry” world, people think you’re better qualified if you’ve got some big sins and experience under your belt, so that you can tell parents just how bad life can be for their kids if they don’t buy the right t-shirts … errrr, … I mean, live the right lifestyle.

        Either she was involved with some serious satanism, or just made crap up and ripped off the details from Chick tracts (which involve a lot of made-up crap). Since the number of real satanists is pretty tiny, I suspect the latter.

        On the other hand, my ex-wife has a sister-in-law who’s Wiccan. She and I got along better than either of us got along with the rest of the family. That’s probably weird to a lot of people …

        • i completely agree, wken. i think she saw a movie and decided that she would say she considered that lifestyle just for the shock value. either that, or she was on a date or with some kids in high school, and they went to the scene where a local urban legend supposedly took place with a ouija board. then she wore black to school the next day, and that translates into toying with witchcraft.

          i’m not surprised at all that you would get along well with a wiccan. from my understanding (which is limited), wicca is centered around respect for the universe. you have that, too.

  5. jay

    Now Willard knows what happens when you keep making stupid bets.

  6. The moron and the Mormon…love it, roflmao! She may be a witch, but he’s got the magic underwear!

    • omg!! :shock: how could i forget the magic underwear?! you’re a genius, bratty.

      the ‘moron and the mormon’ was okay, but i have to say that i was really proud of the post’s title. i might be the only one who remembers that song, though.

      • I’m familiar with it as an expression, but don’t know the song.

        It is an episode title in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” though. Not the only song title used in that series, either …

        • it’s a very old song. it’s from pal joey (i had to look it up). i posted a version of it below.

          • You’re not the only one! I love that song as well. There’s a Sinead O’Connor cover version that I also like a lot.

            Back when I lived in Idaho for a few years (shudder) I read one of those great expose books by a woman who had escaped the Latter Day Saints. There were a couple of pages devoted to the underwear fetish — it was very entertaining.

            • i’ll have to find that. i love the old songs.

              i read an article about the lds that was written by someone who escaped. i was shocked by a lot of the stuff they do, but it did get me prepared to watch ‘big love.’

  7. elizabeth3hersh

    Still reeling from last week’s news story of an Afghani woman who was freed from prison on the condition she marry (and pardon!) her RAPIST which put her in prison in the first place for the sin of adultery (horrors!!) and where she birthed the rapist’s child nine months later, I come across an AP story today about a Saudi woman who was beheaded for practicing witchcraft. It was a fuckety-fuck moment (non-gratuitous vulgarity!) to say the least. As if that was not SHOCKING enough, the article goes on to describe how the Saudi Religious Police have an Anti-Witchcraft Unit and a witchcraft & sorcery hotline to report offenders!! What a great country we live in that an erstwhile ‘witch’ can endorse a candidate for the United States of America however ridiculous she may seem.
    “Thunder, dunder, seven day wonder
    Look below and see this blunder.
    Spirits all who roam the night
    Take this Republican from my sight.”

    …and bring me Jon Huntsman

    • we all complain like crazy about this country and the government, but sometimes we have to take a step back and be grateful for all the shit we don’t have to put up with here. that said, we have to take heed and realize that allowing religion to take over public policy can be a very dangerous thing.

    • Elizabeth, I would be keen on your opinion of Huntsman (the reasonable one) starting to go wonky. Yeah, he got on the doubting science bandwagon last week, but that not the problem that bugs me, it’s talk of open ended war- countries that need to be invaded…NOW. And it gets them all worked up on who can invade the most, destroy this and that country, get the old blood lust pumped up. I would value your opinion on this nonsense. (You too John)

      • elizabeth3hersh

        Hi Tex West. My abbreviated and somewhat jumbled answer (I have an illness that ‘flares’ every now and I’m in a flare): Ron Paul does not believe we should be the world’s policeman. I strongly disagree and believe we have a moral imperative to DO SOMETHING. When I say ‘we’ I mean a collaborative effort between all developed nations. There must be a better way to accomplish our goals than by brute force, lost lives and billions of dollars. I’m not convinced it is ‘blood lust’ that leads us to war…some atrocities beg for intervention, that is, victims rescued, human rights/dignity restored and justice served. Piers Morgan was interviewing Tom Brokaw a few days ago and I was surprised to learn that even Brokaw believed that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction. Now the world has an extremely serious threat with Iran and at a time when we are stretched dangerously thin. What do we do? You have asked a very interesting question since it is useful to imagine how each Republican candidate might handle Iran (collective shudder) except for Huntsman and perhaps Romney. I will always gravitate to the one most deemed intellectual and cosmopolitan (taking into consideration leadership skills/style, character and experience). So we have to ask ourselves, who is most professorial? Perry, Bachmann and Santorum I would peg for Bible or community college. Ron Paul is a tough one. I think his ideas are even too fringy for California so I‘d put him somewhere in Minnesota (that’s not a put-down to Minnesotans as I love Minnesota!). As smart as Gingrich is I can’t envision him in any of the Ivies (much too conservative). That leaves Romney and Huntsman. Romney strikes me as more of BU or Tufts kind of guy. Now we are whittled down to Huntsman. Because Huntsman is so cosmopolitan, speaks Mandarin and has a clear understanding of science and foreign policy (and did I mention grounded?) I can see him as most professorial of the bunch and most deserving of a tenured Ivy post (Ivy being the presidency).

        I’m interested in hearing your thoughts Tex West.

    • Sedate Me

      Hell, that’s just another day in the world of radical Islam, or almost any society dominated by conservative religious doctrine for that matter. Anything with a vagina always winds up being less important than a cow or goat.

      Chew on this piece of news from my secular, socialist, Canuckistan for a while. http://www2.macleans.ca/2011/11/04/house-rules/

      This world travelling dude has been living here as an “upstanding citizen” for 30+ years, yet even his sons feel they can get away with that shit. Actually, they didn’t care much if they got away with it or not. Keeping an eye on the trial, it quickly becomes obvious that the oppression of women is the thing they hold onto the strongest.

      I think it says something about conservatism in general.

      • elizabeth3hersh

        I read the entire ghastly article Sedate Me (excellent investigative work by the Canadians!). Keep us updated on the trial, conviction and any follow-up articles. I would love to know how this plays out. Wow.

        P.S.”Canuckistan”…lol!!

        • Sedate Me

          I occasionally use that nickname for my American friends, so as to not offend their inherent sense of superiority to everything and everyone. Ever since I was a contrary little kid, I’ve told all my American pals there’s an entire world they know nothing about, a world that will continue long after America has been foreclosed upon and disassembled for parts.

          The Canadian news is lousy with the Shafia story. Just do a web search of the guy’s name. But at this point, the only thing left is the guilty verdict. They’ve got glass from his Lexus on the back off the victim’s car. The guy said on the stand “Nothing is more dear to me than my honour. There’s no value of life without honour…but I didn’t kill (those dishonourable little sluts)” Also against him is that his story is highly reminiscent of fellow well-publicized Canadian murderer, Helmuth Bauxbaum. They both were well regarded, religious, businessmen who murdered family member/s on the way back from a family trip after making a very unusual driving decision.

          He didn’t even clear web searches like “where to kill somebody in Kingston” and “managing property rights while in jail” from his browser history. Unlike most criminals who are stupid enough to think they’ll never get caught, I suspect they went into this knowing the chances of getting caught were good. But living up to that religious conservative moral code (apparently not based in scripture, just cultural tradition) that sees vaginas as male property was more important than freedom, not to mention the lives of his family members.

          This link http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Canada/20111209/imams-denounce-honour-killings-111209/ gives a glimpse how the Muslim community in “secular, communist” Canada differs from the more conservative variety the Shafia family was marinated in. I think it’s very important to see this stuff, not as the product of Islam itself, but of CONSERVATIVE Islam. Mixing conservatism and ANY religion is like mixing alcohol and vehicle operation. Nothing good can result from it.

  8. Didn’t someone ask the other day if this race could get any crazier?

    Well, yes, it could. Here’s the proof.

  9. Eye of Newt, wing of batshit bachmann….in a cauldron of boiling santorum. It all makes sense now. :-D

  10. maggiejean

    hahahahaha. Bewitched, bothered and BEWILDERED, is she. Thx nonnie.

  11. As if Mitt was not struggling enough– now he gets an endorsement from the laughingstock witch!

    Reminds me of the end days of Bush 2– he was he considered a kiss of death to a candidacy- no endorsement from you, please!

  12. The irony of it all is that she makes for a cute witch.

    As for the poster–flying Christmas monkeys!

  13. Saw a close up of Chrissie today and the cute has worn off. She can make infomercials now on curing crows feet of the eyes. Besides, she looks quite ordinary compared to Doris. I do remember that song and really keen on her recordings, that got her into showbiz, with Benny Goodmans orchestra. Good example of how Polish extraction has the benefits of beauty and talent. I know Nonnie will agree!

    • the thing about little chrissie is that she actually looks as stupid as she is. she looks so proud of herself when she says something really stupid, and that makes her look even dumber.

      my mom had tons of old records, and doris day albums were among them. i loved so many of her songs–secret love, teacher’s pet, sentimental journey. i was never very fond of que sera, sera, though.

  14. Snoring Dog Studio

    America is a wonderful place – a place where almost anyone can be a “leader” of something. If Mitt wins, he’ll do almost nothing that pleases the Tea Party. But then again, who knows? He’s consistent in his flip floppery.

    • i defy anyone, including mittsie, to say with certainty anything he would do as president.

      • Hah! I’ll take that one.

        He would congratulate himself, blame others for anything that goes wrong, reverse positions, break promises, and deny that he ever held the previous positions or made the promises.

        By the way, happy birthday! Sorry I’m so late.

        • thank you, wken.

          i think you’re correct. that’s exactly what mittsie would do. i don’t know if he’s really interesting in actually governing. i think he just wants to be president, because his daddy wanted to be president and wasn’t.

  15. Mitt is doomed with that endorsement.

  16. Sedate Me

    This is a real head scratcher. You’d expect her to pick anybody BUT the used car salesman. He’s the least Teabagger-friendly candidate of all.

    I guess the witch is trying to go “mainstream”, at least within the Republican context. This might even get her foot in the door of the establishment.

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