Dear Raisinettes

I know that a lot of you are wondering where I’ve been, and I thank you for the many emails I received and apologize for not replying to all of them.  There were and are a few reasons for my long absence.  My computer crapped out, and though my son built me a new one, I’ve so far been unable to retrieve all of my image files from the old hard drive.  There’s also the matter of the tendonitis in my hand that continues to plague me.

Oh, and did I mention the dog?  My sister had 4 dogs, and the city informed her she would be charged $50 every day she had more than 3, so Honeybear came to stay with me temporarily.  That was January 7th, and I’m no longer sure about the temporary part.  She’s 7 1/2 years old, and after several wrong guesses at what she is, I finally found out that she’s not the mutt that everyone thought she was.  Instead, she’s a purebred Louisiana Catahoula Leopard cur.  She keeps me quite busy, mostly sweeping and vacuuming up doggie fur all over the house.

The latest reason for my absence is a lot more tragic.  On the 6th of this month, I got a telephone call and was told that my niece, my beautiful Kimmie, had been found dead in her bed.  My other niece, her younger sister, had found her.  Kimmie was the first grandchild on my side of her family.  She was sweet and loving and had this wonderful little-girl voice that I would love to hear one more time.  She would have been 37 next month.  She had plans to marry at the end of this year on 12/12/12. Instead of a wedding, we had a funeral.  It took place last Tuesday, and it warmed my heart to see how many lives she had touched.  Her friends had flown in from as far as Seattle and Tennessee to say goodbye, and every seat was filled.

They say that every cloud has a silver lining.  Maybe that’s true.  My sweet niece is gone, but her passing reconciled my family.  My brother and my sister-in-law flew in from Montana, and my father came to the funeral.  I hadn’t seen or spoken to them in over 10 years.  Much of the past couple of weeks are a blur, but I will always remember the renewed sense of family.  We spent hours sorting through old pictures and alternately laughing hysterically and crying.  We all regret how much time we allowed to slip away and promised each other that we would no longer wait for a tragedy to bring us together.

I thought that when something profound happens in your life, you’re supposed to suddenly be imbued with some inner awakening and instant wisdom.  I don’t feel any wiser.  I just feel profoundly sad.  I’ll miss my sweet Kimmie for the rest of my life.  I wish I was a “believer” and was assured that she was in a better place.  I guess that I’ll just have to hope so.

Thank you, my dear Raisinettes, for all the support that you have always shown me.  I really do appreciate and was touched by your concern for my well-being.  I hope you will allow me a little more time to get back to posting at The Raisin.  I really do miss it and all of you, but I’m sure that you will understand that I have a lot more tears to shed before I can even begin to think about politics.

I miss you and love you.

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32 Comments

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32 responses to “Dear Raisinettes

  1. Oh, Nonnie, I’m so sorry for everything!

    I really wish that I could offer a hug right now or something … please know that I’m thinking and praying for you and all of you through what’s going on. There’s certainly no need to apologize for having to deal with crises and tragedy.

    Thanks for letting us know, and please take care of yourself.

  2. Take care of *yourself*, Nonnie!

    Sounds like a life trajectory pile-on, and all of us can (and will) wait until whenever you happen to be ready.

    XOXOXOXO

  3. elizabeth3hersh

    Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your beloved niece, nonnie. So sad and tragic, indeed!

    As to your computer issues, I have had good luck with Clickfree (external backup device). You simply plug it in and it backs up everything.

    We look forward to more posts as time (and healing) allows. In the meantime, I have been Factor-free….thanks to you nonnie. And I agree there are more pressing issues than politics which can be so disheartening (exactly what you don’t need right now).

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Thank you for the update…we were worried.

  4. Nonnie, so sorry to hear of your loss. Nonetheless, it was great to hear from you. Take care of yourself and know that many hearts are with you. {{{hugs}}}

  5. Dear Nonnie,
    My heartfelt sympathies on the loss of your niece. I’m no stranger to loss, so I know that it will take you time. Do what you need to find peace with Kimmie’s passing, closeness with your family, and to fill in that new empty space in your heart.
    Elyse

  6. Wow the cosmos really dropped a bomb on your head. Hang in there and glad you’re back. Big hugg.

  7. Oh, nonnie! You are missed so much, but take your time. Life has become quite bumpy for you. I’m so sorry to hear about your niece. I’m sure she knew how much you cared for her. That is truly tragic. Be well. Find some peace. We’ll be here when you return.

  8. Pjevs

    I’m so sorry to hear about your niece so please take the time to mourn. It’s so good to hear from you again and I look forward to your writing and your wonderful posters. You are missed.

  9. maggiejean

    nonnie, I am so sorry to hear about everything that has happened to you and around you. You are missed and loved.

  10. so sorry you have had to deal with pain :( please take care of yourself Nonnie

  11. Nonnie: I was just thinking about you today and wondered what had happened to you? We’ve never met except through your blog, yet I feel I know you and felt in my spirit that something awful had happened. May I offer my deepest heartfelt condolences. I am so very sorry for your family’s loss, and being no stranger to pain and loss, I wish you and yours comfort, grace, and healing during your time of mourning.

    You are extemely talented and funny, and I join with all your other avid readers in waiting for your blog to return in due season so that we might share in your gift of humor and satire as you sort through the political craziness of our country.

    May God bless you and keep you . . . ET

  12. oh, nonnie. i miss you and love you, too. Kimmie is lost so young to all those who loved her and who she loved. i am glad that you and the dog seem to be doing ok. dog hair is not the worst dog thing to clean up. mittens has been doing a pretty good job of satire on his own dumb ass. still, your humor would help to make it just that much better. no presure but, please note that when you feel like doing your thing i will do a major happy dance. :-)

  13. Yes, I had been wondering, too. Sorry the reason sucks. I know a little about life sucking at the present……. I guess what we do is what we do and we just keep hanging on. keeping hanging on , kiddo

  14. John Erickson

    I only “liked” this, for the sake of seeing your return. You have my deepest condolences on your loss. My mother died 2 years ago, and I am STILL looking for that “wiser, nobler” routine.
    Take your time, dear lady. We’ll be here for you. And if you need reassurance that Kimmie is in a better place, think of it this way. Could there NOT be a Heaven, when we are so blessed by people like Kimmie and you? That would be far too cruel a joke for the universe to play on us.
    Until we next meet, fair skies, following winds, and Godspeed, Nonnie. :)

  15. Robyn

    Sorry to hear of your loss, was wondering what had happened to you, glad you are doing well and glad you are back at it. You always bring me a smile.

  16. gregg

    So sorry. You work here has been creative and comforting. Take whatever time you need to patch your life and spirit back together. The world of politics will grind on relentlessly after all of us are gone unless John Bolton has his way and the planet is just a green glass covered orb. I am also appreciative to learn about a kind of dog I had never heard of before.

  17. Life is often terribly unfair. I don’t pretend to understand it. This is what makes some people turn to religion, others to drink, and still others, to a journey of self-discovery and a personal truth. All I know is, the longer I live, the more certain I become that I have no answers. I hope whatever path you take provides you peace and solace. Don’t forget to take care of Nonnie.

  18. I’m saddened to hear of your loss, nonnie. Take care of yourself, and all the best from the great white north…

  19. I’m glad to hear you’re okay, Nonnie. Hadn’t seen you around anywhere in a long time and started to get worried! I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. That’s really sad. Don’t worry about teh interwebs. Do what you need to do for you. But thank you for checking in with us! Hope you stay well. :)

  20. My deepest condolances. I’m so sorry to hear about Kimmie. It’s good to hear from you again here.

  21. distributorcap

    I AM SO glad to hear from you but i am so sorry about the circumstances of the past few months — you are a true gem and the family getting back together is so important at a time like this

    take care of yourself and know you are missed and cared for…..

    we will always be here for you

  22. D

    Nonnie, I’m so sorry for your loss! I’m glad for the silver lining. I’ve missed your posts, too. Take the time you need. We’ll all still be waiting.

  23. Fran

    My post got lost in the ether! Miss you a bunch, & sorry about the family situation… sometimes words just don’t cut it.
    Hope things get better on many fronts. Sending good thoughts your way.

  24. Debbi L-B

    Nonnie you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers – I wish I lived closer to you but this cyber hug will have to do for now (((Nonnie)))
    Blessings,
    Debbi in NS xo xo

  25. Oh sweet raisin, so terrible, may that silver lining shine for you and family. The Beer Party on Facebook has sure been a tad bitter without your awesome picture madness, we have been sharing, your art the better part of last two years. Please check us out on Fb I hope we can crack a smile from you. As I will crack open a tall can of hope for your loss.

  26. I’m really sorry to read all the things you’ve been going through lately and ask that you please accept this stranger’s heartfelt condolences to you and your loved ones. I know a lot of people who are going through some very difficult times, myself included. I feel like I could have written your post. I lost my 11 year old furkid in April of 2011, my spouse immediately replaced him because our furkid’s death made a big hole in my spouse’s heart at a time when facing own terminal illness. I lost the love of my life in January of this year and then my daughter came for the puppy to make things easier on me as I still had our 8 year old furkid to care for and the puppy was too much for me at the time. I lost my spouse, dog and puppy in less than 10 months. There’s a hole in my heart large enough to drive a pick-up through, so I know the loss you’re feeling right now and hope and pray the lovely memories of your beautiful Kimmie and your love for her will sustain you now during this very difficult time. The passage of time will help dry up your tears; and know that after tears come strength. God bless you and yours. Sincerely, PopUpCommontater

  27. I’m sorry for your loss, nonnie. My thoughts are with you.

  28. Nonnie,
    Sorry to hear about your loss. May the pleasant memories of yesterday carry you through today and tomorrow. Bottom line – be strong! Meanwhile, take care of those tendons, and you’ll know when you are ready to return. Be strong Nonnie … be strong.

  29. Hey Nonnie, so happy to hear from you; like many others as time slipped away I was hoping for the best but preparing for the worst; seems it’s always somewhere in between.

    We can rest a little easier knowing you’re still with us. We can all be patient for your gusto for politics returns. And we can all assure you that no tears are ever shed in vain.

    When profound things happen in our life, it’s rarely accompanied by sudden awakening or instant wisdom; rather is the veil lifted as slowly as the sun moves; the wisdom comes as gradually as as a tear finds its way to the sea. But it does come, as John Donne says it does— not as in the dawning of the day, not as the bud of spring; but as the sun at noon.

  30. John Erickson

    Okay, I’m finally back after power outages and Amazonian heat, so once again, all my best to you, and here’s hoping all is going as well as can be expected. Take care!

  31. Mary Ann

    Oh, Nonnie…I’m so sorry for the loss of your darling Kimmie. No wonder you’ve been on my mind lately and of course my spidey sense if off a month. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}} sweetie.

  32. tpavis

    Hi – I work with a nonprofit called the Women’s Int’l League for Peace and Freedom and we would very much like to re-use the poster you made about Benton Harbor which is on your website? Is that possible? Please email: editor@wilpf.org

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