Kay Bailey Hutchison’s Campaign Gets Dicked

From The Dallas Morning News:

Cheney warms up patient crowd for Hutchison

Sorry, kids, but the thought of Deadeye Dick warming up anything is too hilarious!! Let’s continue.
HOUSTON – The rally for Kay Bailey Hutchison, who is running for governor, got a late start because of Kay Bailey Hutchison, who is serving as senator.
Dick [...]

Oh Deer!

From CITY PAGES:
The governor’s annual deer-and-publicity-hunting excursion over the weekend seems to have turned into a bit of a PR nightmare.
Shhhh! Be vewwy, vewwy quiet! Here’s a pic of Governor Timmy heading out for the hunt.

Original image

Blithering (look that up, Joe) Idiot

From THE HILL:
Former Vice President Dick Cheney’s assertion that President Barack Obama is “dithering” on Afghanistan drew agreement from Rep. Joe Wilson (R-S.C.) — after Wilson learned what that word meant.
Wilson, the lawmaker who shouted “You lie!” at the president during a joint session address to Congress, said he had to look up the meaning [...]

In a Dither

Hey kids! By now you’ve all heard Deadeye Dick Cheney’s remark about President Obama and the war in Afghanistan. To refresh your memory:

The White House must stop dithering while America’s armed forces are in danger.
Well, kids, that got me thinking. Why dithering? Who says dither these days? Then [...]

Heady Lamar

Oh, kids, I know this will break your heart, but there appears to be a rift between the Rethuglican National Committee and some congressmen and senators. A week or so ago (according to POLITICO), John Boohoo Boehner, Mitch No-chin McConnell, Jon I-don’t-need-maternity-care Kyl, John NRA Thune, and Heady Lamar Alexander got in Michael Phathead [...]

The Road to Shell Is Paved With Bad Intentions

From The New York Times:
WASHINGTON — The Justice Department is investigating whether a former secretary of the interior, Gale A. Norton, violated the law by granting valuable leases to Royal Dutch Shell around the time she was considering going to work for the company after she left office, officials said Thursday.
The officials said investigators had [...]

Bad Seeds: Faces Only a Mother&*¢#@$ Could Love, Part Deux

Last time I was too lazy to do a proper post Hey, kids! Remember how much fun we had with baby pictures before? Well, I was farting around in Photoshop my crack team of unnamed sources have uncovered the Cheney family album! I’ve dusted it off, discarded [...]

Glory, Glory Halliburton

From POLITICO:
Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.) offered an amendment to the Defense Appropriations bill that would withhold defense contracts to companies who prevent victims from filing lawsuits against sexual assault and harassment.
Franken proposed the amendment after hearing the story of Jamie Leigh Jones, who alleges that she was brutally raped while working a contractor for Halliburton/KBR [...]