Category Archives: John Boehner

Bye Bye Batshit!!!!!

Hi kids!  Long time, no see.  Yeah, I know it’s my fault.  I wouldn’t be here today, but I couldn’t say no to Raisinette FOTC.  She asked me to commemorate the exit of Batshit Bachmann from her too-long tenure in Congress and public life in general.  She requested that I use Bye Bye Birdie and not to mention that she sings Put on a Happy Face in the shower.  OOPS!!  So let me see if I remember how to do this.

From CNN Politics:

Washington (CNN) — Rep. Michele Bachmann says now that she’s leaving Congress, she can “take the handcuffs off.”

…snip…

Bachmann had harsh words for House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), calling Thursday night’s vote to pass a government funding bill — which Bachmann opposed — the most consequential of her four terms. She voted against the bill Thursday.

She said Boehner had linked arms with President Barack Obama to avert a government shutdown without defunding Obama’s executive action overhauling U.S. immigration rules. “The cake was baked months ago,” she said.

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Brat-worst!

Kids, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry (Boohoo Boehner always goes with the latter). Do we celebrate the demise of Widdle Ewic Cantor’s political career, or do we mourn the fact that Teabagger fruitcake David Brat just might be the next asswipe in Congress?

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Branding Iron(y)

From THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR:

Eric Cantor, the often combative second-ranking Republican in the U.S. House of Representatives, sought on Tuesday to rebrand himself and his party, voicing hope that they can work with President Barack Obama for the sake of all Americans.

While not wavering from his conservative principles and desire to tame the record U.S. debt, Cantor expressed a new eagerness to help the needy in such areas as education, health care, immigration and moving up the economic ladder.

“Over the next two years, the House (Republican) majority will pursue an agenda based on a shared vision of creating the conditions for health, happiness and prosperity for more Americans and their families,” Cantor said in a speech to the American Enterprise Institute, a Washington think tank.

Because Widdle Ewic and his merry band of Ayn Randian teabaggers are all about health, happiness, and prosperity for everyone [insert eyeroll here].

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(From Left to right in back, top row: Paul Broun, Trent Franks, Joe Wilson. Bottom row: Louie Gohmert, Steve King)

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Filed under Barack Obama, Congress, Democrats, humor, Immigration, Joe Wilson, John Boehner, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

Bloodsuckers

Hey kids!  I’m poking my head out of the computer/carpal tunnel doldrums rabbit hole.  How could I not post something now that Mitt Romney has selected his running mate?  I’m still having massive computer problems (it turns off constantly with no warning whatsoever), so I figured I’d dust off some old posters that are once again relevant.  Let’s begin with the new team, Mittsie and Eddie Munster Paul Ryan…

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Well, at least Grandpa Dick Cheney will be happy…

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Fundy-mental

From THINK PROGRESS LGBT:

In just her first year in office, Rep. Vicky Hartzler (R-MO) has proven to be one of the most socially conservative members of Congress, and today she demonstrated just how intolerant she is of people who do not share her beliefs. In an interview, she and the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins were condemning the Air Force Academy for creating an outdoor worship space that accommodates “Earth-based” religions. Hartzler said she believes that her rabidly conservative brand of Christianity is “the main religion in our country” and condemned any attempt to accommodate “fringe religions”:

st ronnie ronald reagan saint elephant no gay marriage buttonOriginal painting (Virgin Mary at Prayer by Giovanni Battista Salvi da Sassoferrato)
(Painting within the painting)

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Filed under Christianity, Congress, Constitution, Defense Department, Family Research Council, First Amendment, John Boehner, Painting, religion, snark, Tony Perkins

Bronzo the Clown Has Bawls!

From THE HUFFINGTON POST:

His sniffles began during the speech, but it wasn’t until after House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) stepped down from the podium during a Wednesday ceremony at the Capitol that the bawling started.

Boehner was one of several Hill leaders who gave remarks at an event honoring astronauts John Glenn, Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins and Buzz Aldrin with the Congressional Gold Medal. Congress approved the medal in July 2009 to mark the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing.

“Neil Armstrong was once asked: Why did you, this one man, choose to speak for all when you set foot on the lunar surface? As it turns out, there was no script, there were no notes,” Boehner said. “When the moment came, Neil’s thoughts turned to the 400,000 people who worked on the project…. He said he knew ‘it would be a big something for all those folks and a lot of others who weren’t even involved in the project.’ So it was.”

And then, as Boehner lined up to present Armstrong with his medal in front of the crowd, the weeping began.

snot martini golf pin orange foolius juliusOriginal DVD cover

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Hollow Weenies

From Newsweek/THE DAILY BEAST:

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, the Republican leadership’s tether to the Tea Party, flutters the hearts of the government-bashing, budget-slicing faithful with his relentless attacks on runaway federal spending. To Cantor, an $8 billion high-speed rail connecting Las Vegas to Disneyland is wasteful “pork-barrel spending.” The Virginia Republican set up the “You Cut” Web site to demonstrate how easy it is to slash government programs. And he made the Department of Housing and Urban Development the poster child for waste when he disclosed that the agency was paying for housing for Ph.D.s.

But away from the cameras, Cantor sometimes pulls right up to the spending trough, including the very stimulus law he panned in public. Letters obtained by Newsweek show him pressing the Transportation Department to spend nearly $3 billion in stimulus money on a high-speed-rail project—not the one he derided in Nevada, but another in his home state. “Virginia … will demonstrate that this historic investment in rail will create jobs, reduce congestion, spur economic growth and improve our environment,” says a letter he signed with other Virginia members in October 2009, cribbing President Obama’s own argument for the stimulus.

scared elephant boehner pumpkinOriginal DVD cover

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Filed under Barack Obama, Congress, Darrell Issa, humor, John Boehner, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Ron Paul, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs