Monthly Archives: April 2007
Imus was a lightweight compared to these guys. And don’t get me started on the Faux News line-up or Limpbaugh.
It was revealed that Judith “three time’s the charm” Nathan, the wife of presidential hopeful, Rudy Giuliani, has a few skeletons in her closet–of the canine variety.
Nathan, 52, had previously attracted media attention when it was revealed that she had been married twice before, not once, as previously believed. She married Jeffrey Ross in Las Vegas when she was 20. The marriage ended after five years. Five days after divorcing Ross, she then married husband #2, Bruce Nathan. Mr. Giuliani was married to his second wife, actress Donna Hanover, when he started having an affair with Ms Nathan. All of this is acceptable, as Mr. Giuliani is a Republican.
As if this was not enough of a distraction, it has been revealed that Ms Nathan was employed by US Surgical in the 1970s as a salesperson. The medical supply company operated on dogs to demonstrate surgical stapling equipment. The dogs were then euthanized.
Mr. Giuliani sprang to his wife’s defense:
“There’s plenty to attack me about. Please do it,” the former New York mayor said last week. “But maybe, you know, show a little decency.”
He went on to protest that Judith Giuliani, his third wife, was “a civilian, to use the old mafia distinction”.
Inset from above illustration:
Some insiders say that George W. Bush attempted to snort both his parents after someone read to him about Keith Richards snorting his father’s cremains after mixing them with cocaine. An anonymous source who has known Mr. Bush since his Texas years confided, “Ever since I have known Chimpy, he has been very competitive. I can see him trying to outdo Keith Richards by snorting two parents instead of just one.” A White House spokesperson had denied the story and says that people are completely misreading a photo released yesterday. Then, the spokesperson reminded everyone that things are different since 9/11.