A Guide to the Republican Presidential Debate

For those who might have missed it the first time around, MSNBC is re-airing the exciting, inspiring, scintillating Republican presidential snoozefest canonization Ronniepalooza debate tonight, Okay, I admit I didn’t watch the entire thing the other night. I really, really wanted to, but i have developed some kind of weird gag reflex thing. Don’t worry, though. I felt fine when I got up the next day!

The debate was held at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. Nancy Reagan was sitting in the front row. Reagan’s Air Force One hovered overhead. Reagan’s name was invoked 19 times during the debate (George W. Bush was only mentioned 6 times, and the candidates spit after each time). Does anyone else sense a trend here? Was this debate about the presidency and the things that people are concerned about now or a contest to see who could be the most like Ronald Reagan?
Since I didn’t see the whole debate, I thought i would investigate. I am sure you will be relieved to know that the candidates are their own men. They have no need to be like Ronald Reagan. The library and the widow and the jet and the 19 mentions were merely coincidences. Besides, these guys would not be so stupid as to try to compete to see who is the most like Ronald Reagan! Alberto “I can’t recall” Gonzales already has that won hands down!!
Oops! I promised you a guide to the debate, didn’t I? Here are the 10 candidates. I hope the photos help you to keep track of who is who, as well as proving to you that there was no attempt by the candidates to portray themselves as Reaganesque.

And don’t worry if you can’t keep them all straight (of course they are all straight! They’re Republicans!! You know what I mean!!); the host, Chris Matthews, will be on hand to ask the questions and help you sort it all out, and we know that there is no stardust in his nonpartisan eyes!!


Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Chimpy, Chris Matthews, Duncan Hunter, George W. Bush, humor, Jim Gilmore, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, MSNBC, politics, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, Sam Brownback, snark, Tom Tancredo, Tommy Thompson

2 responses to “A Guide to the Republican Presidential Debate

  1. Carolita

    Hey, I didn’t realize that Tancredo was a person of color. How did he get in there with a bunch of white guys.

    Tancredo has done more to move Hispanics away from the Republican party than anyone. Thanks, Tom, we needed a few million extra votes.

  2. nonnie9999

    hi caro!!
    that the pall that is cast whenever he walks into a room. it’s the rethug’s way of telling people they are inclusive. 😉