This Just In: Intestinal Fartitude

And by this just in, I mean the camera attached to a tube (Hey, Ted Stevens!!! A tube!! A tube!!!) that was inserted into that asshole’s asshole George W. Bush’s intestinal tract when he had his colonoscopy. The test started later than expected. The first complication was that Bush took a strong laxative in preparation for the test and promptly began to melt away. When he was stabilized, the doctors kept mistakenly putting the scope into Bush’s mouth, unable to tell the difference as to which end was which, because the same foul discharge seems to come from both. When they finally started the procedure, they discovered that the NSA had already put a probe in Mr. Bush’s rectum.
Usually, there is a 48-72 hour wait for the results, but I just happened to have a little “inside” information. Not only do I have a snapshot of what the doctors saw, but breaking news as well! We now know exactly where Dick Cheney’s undisclosed location has always been! Here is the colonoscopic evidence:
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Shouldn’t they be more concerned over what is in Michael Chertoff’s intestines rather than Chimpy’s?
In a related story, for several hours, all presidential powers were transferred to Dick Cheney, and the entire country had the shits just thinking about it.
* * *
On a serious note, cancer screenings of any kind are not a joke. I wish everyone could afford the testing and medical care that Chimpy and Cheney and Gutsy Chertoff receive.

8 Comments

Filed under Chimpy, Colonoscopy, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, Michael Chertoff, politics, Republicans, snark, Ted Stevens

8 responses to “This Just In: Intestinal Fartitude

  1. nightowl724

    Nonnie,

    This post is right on target, from the humor, to the messages (both snarky and serious), to the visual aid. You go, girl!

    If they ever decide to give our shit-for-brains president a cranial CAT scan, we know ahead of time what the results of that examination will be…

  2. Friend of the court

    A little disappointed here, I was expecting them to find about a half a million emails or at least an 18 minute long tape worm. Bush was lucky that the probe didn’t cause a brain injury.

  3. nightowl724

    fotc:

    hahahahahahaha!

  4. nonnie9999

    i was very surprised. i thought for sure that they would only find cheney’s hand up there. oh, and karl rove, too. after all, his nickname is turdblossom.

  5. LOL…my eyes are tearing.

    I thought it was a brain rectal scan or something.

    Even thought I can’t stand Bush I would wish cancer on anyone. But it would be nice if everyone over 50 could afford it

  6. You rock – I hope there is no cure for your sick (but truthful) insight. America needs a variety of viewpoints, buttt tthis one sstinkkks LOL. How observant …

  7. nonnie9999

    nytexan, i am sure that your eyes tearing is the reason that you left out ‘not’. i am quite sure you would never wish cancer on anyone. we don’t wish people dead. that’s ann coulter’s job.

  8. nonnie9999

    hi bosskitty (aren’t kitties always the bosses?),
    you rock, too!! thanks so much for visiting and for leaving a comment. 😀 it is much appreciated! please come again!

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