Tony Snow in His Own Turds…I Mean Words

Faux News White House Press Secretary Tony Snow did quite a tap dance today while trying to defend Attorney General Alberto Gonazles. He said that Al Fredo did not lie about his visit to the ailing then-Attorney General John Ashcroft, but he can’t tell us how he didn’t lie because what was spoken about was classified. Huh? If it was classified, then didn’t Al Fredo and then-White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card break the law when they spoke about classified stuff in an unsecured hospital room? I’m confused, Tony!!
Original DVD cover.
Maybe some quotes straight from Tony will help me understand.

Q On Gonzales, this [then-National Intelligence Director John] Negroponte memo shows an apparent contradiction in what he told the committee two days ago about that briefing at the White House. But yet Gonzales’ spokesman says that what he said on Tuesday was true. How can that be? Can you explain that?

MR. SNOW: Unfortunately we get into areas that you cannot discuss openly. It’s a very complex issue. But the Attorney General was speaking consistently. The President supports him. I think at some point this is going to be something where members are going to have to go behind closed doors and have a fuller discussion of the issues. But I can’t go any further than that.

Q Everyone else says the meeting was about the TSP [Terrorist Surveillance Program]. Negroponte says it, people who were there said it, [then-Acting Attorney General James} Comey said it. How could that not be right?

MR. SNOW: It’s simply more complex than that, and I can’t go into any more detail.

Q Is there another program that existed besides the TSP program?

MR. SNOW: I will repeat myself — it’s more complex, and I cannot go any further than that.

Q Does that mean that members of the Congress are being briefed on something they didn’t realize they were being briefed on? If they’re all describing it in this way —

MR. SNOW: Look, the most important thing to do is, I’ll refer you back to DOJ to going through all this. But there were a series of briefings for a small, restricted number of members of Congress who seem to have differing recollections about what went on. As I’ve told you the last couple of days, I’m not going to try to be the fact witness on this.

A couple of questions later:

Q Tony, if the President can order the U.S. attorney in the District of Columbia not to pursue criminal contempt charges, doesn’t that sort of put him in the position of being able to determine unilaterally what executive privilege is?

MR. SNOW: Well, the President can assert executive privilege, but you’ve misstated the way this works. In fact, the Department of Justice has the responsibility — the Department of Justice has already published an opinion; furthermore, there is a longstanding series of opinions out of the Department of Justice from Democratic and Republican administrations that talk about the inapplicability of criminal contempt of Congress citations when it comes to people asserting executive privilege.

So, number one, the President is not issuing orders; this is something that falls under the purview of the Department of Justice. And number two, legal precedent all points in one way and it would not be the way contemplated by the House Judiciary Committee.

Q The Nixon tapes case, though, presents certain limitations on the President’s assertion of executive privilege, doesn’t it?

MR. SNOW: How on earth are you trying to apply the Nixon’s tapes case here? That seems an awful stretch.

Q I read it in the paper. It sounded logical when I read it.

MR. SNOW: Well, it’s — nice try.

Tony was all over the airwaves defending Al Fredo with the same logic: He didn’t commit perjury. He told the truth about the hospital visit, but I cannot tell you anything about it, because it is classified. The Preznit loves his widdle Gonzy-Wonzy, and the Democrats are doody-heads for trying to get rid of him!! On Softballs No Balls Hardboiled Hardball, I didn’t hear Chris “Tweety” Matthews ask him if Al Fredo and Card broke the law by speaking about classified information in that setting. Then again, I was so distracted by Tweety salivating and making goo-goo eyes at Tony that I might have missed it.

I wonder how John McCain will take it when he finds out that Tweety is leaving him for Tony. Poor Johnny, if he’s lost Tweety, he might as well hang it all up now.


Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Andrew Card, Chimpy, Chris Matthews, Fox News, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, Hardball, humor, James Comey, John Ashcroft, John McCain, John Negroponte, Justice Department, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Tony Snow, TSP, White House scandals

18 responses to “Tony Snow in His Own Turds…I Mean Words

  1. Friend of the court

    “Trust us, it’s a secret and too, complicated for me to get into. I will not be a fact witness or talk about any on going investigations……

    Next question?”

  2. nonnie9999

    i am having a very hard time understanding. the more secret it was, the more egregious it was that card and gonzo talked about it in a hospital room that was not secure and in front of a woman, mrs. ashcroft, who should not have been privy to any of the discussion. the turds they are a-steamin’.

  3. Friend of the court

    These arrogant shit wits expect unquestioning loyality from their women folks. That is probably why they, usually, don’t mind sending them up the hill for questioning.

  4. nonnie9999

    they hide behind women’s skirts. i cannot for the life of me figure out why these women are so stupid. if it is the love of power, then they are pretty dumb if they can’t figure out that they have all the power. all they have to do is tell what they know. instead, they put their own necks on the chopping block. what do they think they are going to get from chimpy & co.? i hope that they are all watched very carefully to see who hires them after their gigs at the white house and if they get salaries that are out of the ordinary.

  5. Friend of the court

    Maybe, they are looking for a “daddy”, if they really are fundis and buy into that, father, son and holy ghost story, then they are probably most comfortable in a supporting role. Blind faith and loyalty above all ethical considerations, seem to be what Bush values and, yes, “pretty dumb”, would seem to be a plus.

  6. nonnie9999

    i think they all have some kind of joan of ark complex. they think they are being noble and courageous, while they are really being stupid and reckless. i wonder how joan of arky they will be if they are threatened with going to prison. somehow, joan of arkiness seems to vanish when the punishment is nigh.

  7. nightowl724

    Speaking of the women involved with the so-called “right,” check out this creepy website:

    Preparing Christ’s Bride

    nonnie, perfect execution on this. I laughed at the “widescreed” word – and every other little detail on the cover – as well as the whole snarky concept!

  8. Hello Nonnie!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Have you looked at the magic counter recently??! ๐Ÿ˜›

    Nearly up to 8,000 visitors ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

  9. nightowl724

    8,000 visitors…

    A 1,000,000 laughs!

    You go, girl!

  10. nonnie9999

    christ’s bride? that is one scary broad! thanks for noticing the widescreed. i was wondering if anyone would.

  11. nonnie9999

    mighty mikk0mouse!!!! ๐Ÿ˜€ where have you been? i was worried that maybe you got drunk and went up to the space station!!
    16 more hits in the next 43 minutes to break 8K before the wordpress calendar changes! not sure if we will make it or not, but here’s hoping!

  12. nightowl724

    I found another strange woman last week, too, through Orcinus. The spooky, kooky short video worth watching:

    I loved what the blogger Dave had to say about it:

    “In any event, my enjoyment of the books is enhanced by the knowledge that it also drives the fundamentalist right nuts.

    She says the books have โ€œevil themesโ€ because they speak of witchcraft and spells. And the Bible clearly teaches such things are immoral. One child who opposed her efforts saw things more clearly. He said, โ€œnever at any time did I think the books are true.โ€ But fundamentalists do think that there is truth in these books. Unlike most rational people, they do believe that witches and spells exist. They have no choice since the Bible condemns such things. To say they donโ€™t exist questions the infallibility of Scripture.

    I cannot believe that any secular book, character or movie advocating witchcraft of any kind could be this wildly successful without Satan having an agenda for it.”

  13. Snow looks like shit these days.

    You might think the Bush junta would clean up its act just a little to give the guy a break but, oh no, they’re just as corrupt and deceitful as ever and Tony Snow is left to spin yarns to protect his boss.

  14. nonnie9999

    becky fischer is a dangerous fruitcake. she wants to turn kids into terrorists. it was my pleasure to make fun of her and jesus camp:

  15. nonnie9999

    hi christopher!! ๐Ÿ˜€
    snow does look like crap. i wonder how much of it is due to his illness and how much is due to guilt. can tony still feel guilt? does he have a conscience or did he have to check it at the door when he went to work for faux news?
    thanks for stopping by and commenting, christopher. come again!

  16. nightowl724

    Damn! I read your terrific “Hello Muddah Hello Faddah” diary when I did a “sweep” of your work last month, but I didn’t make the connection last week when I read the Orcinus article. Maybe it was because I was focusing on the snark and the song at the time when I first read your diary. (And, feeling jealous, I might add.) I just re-read it.

    G-E-N-I-U-S !!!!!! That was G-E-N-I-U-S !!!!!!

    I’m sending it off to my son…

  17. nonnie9999

    thanks, nightowl. i think that one is my favorite, mostly because i grew up worshipping alan sherman. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ oh no!! pastor becky will be after me with all that false idol nonsense!!

  18. nightowl724

    Sherman would have been honored and F*** Pastor Becky!

    I’m in a mood…

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