The Real Reasons Turdblossom is Leaving

From CNN International:

An emotional Karl Rove characterized his tenure in the White House as a “witness to history” as he announced his resignation as President Bush’s senior political adviser at the end of this month.
“It seems the right time to start thinking about the next chapter in our family’s life,” Rove said, his voice breaking. “It’s not been an easy decision.”

Original DVD cover.
Maybe some people buy that story about wanting to spend more time with the family, but I say
These are the real reasons why Turdblossom is leaving:

1. Got an invitation to go hunting with Dick Cheney.

2. Sick of that damned Barney getting all the bellyrubs!

3. Scooter Libby is looking a little twitchy, because he knows he can still be called to testify. Turdie wants to work on his tan so he looks good for his own commutation of sentence and pardon.

4. Tired of slipping on the banana peels when he is called into the Oval Office.

5. Heard that Scott McClellan has been working out, and he is pissed that Turdie tricked him into lying about not being involved in outing Valerie Plame.

6. Will be busy trying to earn street cred for his rap star image.

7. Can no longer fight those lustful thoughts he has of Barbara Bush.
Original DVD cover.

8. Tired of being Bush’s Brain, wants to be something fun, like Bill Clinton’s penis.

9. Almost got an eye poked out by a pop-up book in a book-reading competition with Chimpy.

10. Can’t give up that lifelong dream of starring as Mr. Weatherbee in a proposed Archie Comics TV show on Fox.


Filed under Barbara Bush, Barney, Chimpy, CIA, Comic books, Dana Perino, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, Jack Abramoff, Karl Rove, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Scooter Libby, Scott McClellan, snark, Tony Snow, Valerie Plame, White House scandals

4 responses to “The Real Reasons Turdblossom is Leaving

  1. nightowl724


    1. If Cheney goes dove hunting with him, he might not live long enough to testify!

    6. What a disgusting display! You shoulda WARNED me! Maybe he plans to “move on down the road” by “taking it on the road” with John McCain…

    7. Oh, the shoes, the shoes! Too much! But, he only cares about her beautiful mind!

    9. Maybe one of these?

    Li’l Bush on Cheney’s shoulders and Li’l Dana on Tony’s lap…PERFECT!

  2. nonnie9999

    hey nightowl! i was wondering where you were. i posted this over at dk, too.
    that mccain performances is, perhaps, the saddest thing i have ever seen. did he really think he could do that and then run for preznit?
    that article about turdie hunting cracked me up. i am not surprised that a lot of other people thought of him taking a hunting trip with cheney.
    i really wanted to put a really nasty varicose-vein ridden leg in the graduate pic, but i didn’t want to gross anyone out. instead, i drew on a few subtle veins and arteries and made the leg a bit puffier, but i am not sure how well it came out. oh well, people got the picture.
    this was really fun to work on, and i am so glad that people seemed to enjoy it as well.
    p.s. you are the first (and only so far) to comment on little chimpy and little dana. that was my favorite part.

  3. nightowl724

    Ummm… That leg was sufficiently gross, thank you very much!

    Aren’t those pop-up books at Amazon a trip?

    Man, what a hit over at DKos! Congrats and sorry I missed it… (I did go and rec this morning, but I let fotc keep her “last” this time! Ha-Ha!

    Those four smaller covers – I’ve seen a few of them here before, no? Anyway, they’re “fab,” too!

  4. nonnie9999

    thank you for thinking that the leg was sufficiently gross.
    those pop-up books look quite interesting. i don’t think i will be buying the sex one. i don’t want to think about what might pop up.
    thanks for the rec over at big orange. i was surprised that the diary went over so well. i expected that it would quickly scroll down the diary list. even if it hadn’t done well, it was really fun to write. i am glad that other people found it fun as well.
    you are correct, all the smaller covers came from here. i like to recycle! 😆