Larry, Larry, Larry! You can bitch and moan (on second thought, please don’t moan!) all you want, but, whatever legal hoops you jump through, you are not going to keep your seat in the Senate (hey, you like sitting other places better anyway, right?)! You come from a Rethuglican state with a Rethuglican governor who will replace you with a Rethuglican, so the Rethuglicans will dispose of you without another thought.
From the Spokesman Review:
Larry Craig, Idaho’s senior senator, contends he was so “panicked” that his arrest in a Minneapolis airport restroom would prompt a Boise newspaper to print a story falsely claiming he was homosexual that he wrongly pleaded guilty to something he didn’t do.
“While in this state of anxiety, Sen. Craig felt compelled to grasp the lifeline offered to him by the police officer; namely that if he were to submit to an interview and plead guilty, then none of the officer’s allegations would be made public,” Craig’s attorneys wrote in a request filed Monday, asking to withdraw his plea.
That panic continued from his June 11 arrest until he mailed in a guilty plea to a charge of disorderly conduct on Aug. 1, the court papers contend.
Gee, I hope he didn’t panic so badly that he had to poop!! He needs to avoid public bathrooms.
Well, kids. You know what this means. I’ve done so many diaries about poor old Larry that I think he needs his very own song!
To the tune of Hats Off to Larry, written and performed by Del Shannon (other versions below if this one is being fussy):
When you went into the john,
(The airport, it doesn’t matter,)
I would believe that nature called,
But your shoe began to clatter.
Hey, No-Pants Larry,
Why did you glance,
At the guy in the next stall,
And do a dance,
With just one shoe?
Just skip the loo-loo-loo-oo
Think I’d wear Depends if I were you.
You made a lot of noise,
That you’re not gay, (you just like boys),
And there’s one more thing I gotta say…
No pants on Larry,
Legs wide apart,
I’d think you’d squeeze out a poop,
(At least a fart,)
But on that day,
Not one drop of D_N-A-a,
So the Senate said, “Goodbye to you!”
So, No-Pants Larry,
It may sound cruel,
But you scoffed at gay people,
And that’s not cool,
You’re such a schmo,
No-Pants Larry, good riddance to you,
(Clearer version of Del Shannon, but missing the last verse and a really, really cool version by someone named Juann84)