Monthly Archives: September 2007

Disposable Griper

Larry, Larry, Larry! You can bitch and moan (on second thought, please don’t moan!) all you want, but, whatever legal hoops you jump through, you are not going to keep your seat in the Senate (hey, you like sitting other places better anyway, right?)! You come from a Rethuglican state with a Rethuglican governor who will replace you with a Rethuglican, so the Rethuglicans will dispose of you without another thought.

From the Spokesman Review:

Larry Craig, Idaho’s senior senator, contends he was so “panicked” that his arrest in a Minneapolis airport restroom would prompt a Boise newspaper to print a story falsely claiming he was homosexual that he wrongly pleaded guilty to something he didn’t do.

“While in this state of anxiety, Sen. Craig felt compelled to grasp the lifeline offered to him by the police officer; namely that if he were to submit to an interview and plead guilty, then none of the officer’s allegations would be made public,” Craig’s attorneys wrote in a request filed Monday, asking to withdraw his plea.

That panic continued from his June 11 arrest until he mailed in a guilty plea to a charge of disorderly conduct on Aug. 1, the court papers contend.

Gee, I hope he didn’t panic so badly that he had to poop!! He needs to avoid public bathrooms.

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Original DVD cover.

Well, kids. You know what this means. I’ve done so many diaries about poor old Larry that I think he needs his very own song!
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Filed under Homophobia, Homosexuality, humor, Idaho, Larry Craig, movies, music parody, parody, politics, Republicans, snark

What’s Cookin’?

Hey, kids, did you know that Betty Crocker never really existed? Nope! Fake, make-believe, a figment of corporate imagination. From AdAge:

Betty was created in 1921 after a promotion for Gold Medal flour flooded Washburn Crosby Co. with questions about baking. To answer customers in a more personal manner, the company created a fictitious kitchen expert, pulling the name “Crocker” from a recently retired director of the company and adding the first name “Betty” because it sounded friendly.

Washburn Crosby’s female employees were asked to submit handwriting samples for Betty’s signature and the one selected as “most distinctive” is still Betty’s signature today.

You see, sometimes you need a face to put with a product. Do a little market research, find out the type of person you think the public will listen to and trust, and then let him or her do the talking!

On a completely unrelated note, General David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker testified Monday before before a joint meeting of the House Foreign Affairs and Armed Services Committees.

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Original book cover.
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Filed under Betty Crocker, Books, Chimpy, David Walker, Democrats, Duncan Hunter, GAO, General Petraeus, George W. Bush, House Armed Services Committee, House Foreign Affairs Committee, humor, Ike Skelton, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, Iraq War, Neil Abercrombie, parody, Pentagon, politics, Republicans, Ryan Crocker, Senate Armed Services Committee, snark, Tom Lantos

The Funda-mentals of the Fundamentalists

Reagan Lite? A little too lite, according to those crazy rightwingers!!
From the Associated Press:

Prominent evangelical leaders who spent the summer hoping Fred Thompson would emerge as their favored Republican presidential contender are having doubts as he begins his long-teased campaign.

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Original DVD cover.
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Filed under 2008 election, American Values, Arlington Group, Coalition of African-American Pastors, Family Research Council, Focus on the Family, Fred Thompson, Gary Bauer, Gay rights, humor, James Dobson, Jeri Thompson, John McCain, Mitt Romney, movies, parody, politics, religion, Republicans, Rick Scarborough, Rudy Giuliani, snark, Tony Perkins, Vision America, William Owens

Who’s the Boss?

Well, if you ask Army General David Petraeus, the answer is Admiral William Fallon. However, when it comes to strategery, it seems that Fallon‘s advice will fall on deaf ears (Fallon, fall-on, get it? 😆 Oh, how i crack myself up!)
From Times Online:

On the eve of a crucial verdict on progress in Iraq being delivered to Congress, President Bush faced claims yesterday that deep divisions had opened up between his Middle East military commanders over whether his “surge” strategy was working.

Reports suggested that Admiral William Fallon, chief of US Central Command in the region, had pressed for a significant withdrawal of troops so that there would be sufficient forces for other pressing challenges.

Ruh-roh!
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Original DVD cover.
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Filed under Afghanistan, Chimpy, Congress, General Petraeus, George W. Bush, GWOT, humor, Iraq War, Joint Chiefs of Staff, movies, NATO, Nouri al-Maliki, parody, politics, Ryan Crocker, snark, William Fallon

The Killing Spiels

From The Washington Post (9/6/2007):
Nuking Iran: The Republican Agenda?

At the Republican debate last night, almost all the candidates said that they would not rule out a nuclear attack on Iran as a means to prevent it from getting its own nuclear weapons. Only one of these knuckleheads would say that attacking Iran — indeed even threatening to nuke Iran — is not the right strategy.


Original DVD cover.

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Filed under 2008 election, Chimpy, Duncan Hunter, Fred Thompson, George W. Bush, humor, Iran, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, snark, Tom Tancredo

The Surge, in General

From Joe Conason Salon:

When Gen. David Petraeus testifies Monday on the effects of the American troop escalation in Iraq, don’t expect him to dwell on the strategic irrelevance of the “surge,” which was supposed to revive chances for political reconciliation among that country’s warring ethnic and religious factions. Were the surge to be judged by that original metric — a reduction in violence sufficient to encourage real cooperation among the warring sides — then it has certainly failed so far.

The commanding general can be expected to sidestep such unpleasant topics and to focus attention instead on Anbar province, which President Bush himself has declared an exemplary “success” — and on the Pentagon’s hotly disputed casualty and incident statistics, which supposedly prove the value of the surge.

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Original DVD cover.
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Filed under Chimpy, CIA, GAO, General Petraeus, George W. Bush, GWOT, humor, Iraq War, movies, parody, Pentagon, politics, Ryan Crocker, snark

Blood Money

Robert Draper has a new book out called Dead Certain based on six hour-long interviews with Chimpy George W. Bush, as well as interviews with 200 hundred other sources.

From The New York Times:

This is a president who says he cries easily and often about dead and wounded soldiers…
…snip…
So what does the current President Bush plan to do after leaving office?
…snip…
Mr. Bush, who has a net worth estimated at $8 million to $21 million, also said he would like to make some money — “replenish the ol’ coffers,” as he put it.

He said he could make “ridiculous” money out on the lecture circuit: “I don’t know what my dad gets. But it’s more than fifty, seventy-five” thousand dollars a speech.


Original DVD cover.
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Filed under Books, Chimpy, Dead Certain, George W. Bush, GWOT, humor, Iraq War, Karl Rove, Military pay, movies, politics, Robert Draper, snark, White House scandals

Ida-holy crap! Now what?

We thought we had heard the last of Senator Larry Craig (R-IMNOTGAY), but not so fast, kids. Like a bad case of eczema, he keeps coming back.

From The New York Times:

WASHINGTON, Sept. 4 — Senator Larry E. Craig of Idaho opened the door Tuesday to returning to the Senate, creating another twist in his unfolding political drama and raising the possibility of an ugly showdown with national Republican leaders.
…snip…
Mr. Craig has been encouraged by Senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, the senior Republican on the Judiciary Committee who is a former prosecutor, to contest the charges.


Original DVD cover.
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Filed under Arlen Specter, Butch Otter, Homophobia, Homosexuality, humor, Idaho, Larry Craig, Mike Crapo, Mitch McConnell, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Scandals, Senate Judiciary Committee, snark