The Lapel Show

It’s official. Lou Dobbs has lost his fucking mind. When he recently went in for a tonsillectomy, did the anesthesiologist turn off the oxygen by mistake? Did the surgeon miss and nip a bit of Lou’s brain instead of his tonsils? Whatever the case, I will repeat–Lou Dobbs has lost his fucking mind.

NEW YORK (CNN) — Lunacy among our public figures in this country certainly didn’t subside over the weeks that I’ve been away from the broadcast. I’ve been no less than astounded by the incongruity, the contradiction, the specious and silly public statements by public and political figures over something like a flag pin worn on one’s lapel.

Like many Americans, I began wearing a flag pin after September 11. I do so out of respect for those killed in the terrorist attacks, and in recognition of this country’s war on radical Islamist terror. It turns out that some journalists and some presidential candidates are uncomfortable and even upset about flags on lapels.

Original DVD cover.

Katie Couric of CBS News takes exception to “the whole culture of wearing flags on our lapel and saying ‘we’ when referring to the United States.” We are Americans, right, Katie? I’m sorry, but how can anyone possibly be offended by acknowledging that our troops who are sacrificing so much for us are ours, and that we are their proud countrymen?

Now, I am no fan of Katie Couric. In fact, I cannot stand the woman, never could. I just don’t like perky. It gives me heartburn. However, since when does jewelry acknowledge anything other than the fact that the wearer can afford jewelry? Are those of us who cannot afford to spend money on silly depictions of a national symbol doomed to be branded as unpatriotic, ungrateful traitors who don’t honor the troops? Hmmmm, since I don’t like Katie Couric, maybe Lou is correct….hmmmmm.…. Let’s continue.

Sen. Barack Obama put away his lapel flag pin. The senator says instead of a flag pin, his words will be a testament to his patriotism. I don’t know what’s wrong with the senator or why he can find any discomfort at all, but that’s his right as an American. But any politician of any political party who believes their words can be an adequate substitute for the symbolic power of the American flag is sadly arrogant and horribly mistaken.

I have to hand it to Lou here. Throw away the Gettysburg Address. We don’t need it! We have the Lincoln Memorial to look at! In fact, we have the Jefferson Memorial, so get rid of that ridiculous Declaration of Independence. Pffft! Who needs those silly words when we have buildings?!

Several years ago PBS’ Bill Moyers said the flag’s “been hijacked and turned into a logo — the trademark of a monopoly on patriotism.” I respect Moyers and his work greatly, but he’s simply, utterly wrong on this issue.

Yah, Lou!! Bill Moyers, you are soooooo wrong!! I don’t even know what you are talking about! Look at these great Americans!!

Can you think of greater Americans than Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, or Pamela Anderson? We all know that the people who follow these patriots are the best that America has to offer!! Excuse me, but I have to go wipe the tears from my eyes before I can continue….

The flag belongs to all of us as Americans, and it’s our right to either wear a lapel pin or not.

I choose to wear that flag on my lapel because the nation it represents makes that choice possible.

~Sniff~ You are so right, Lou! You have completely changed my mind! Brave men and women have been fighting for years for my right to wear jewelry! I am going to go out right now and buy some patriotic jewelry! Well, right after I go out and kick some illegal alien butt!
Lou Dobbs, you are my hero!

Oh, give me a home,
Where the buffalo roam,
And the deer and the antelope play,
Where no one can compel,
What is on my lapel,
That’s so fucking important today…


Filed under 2008 election, 9/11, Abbi Tatton, abortion, Abraham Lincoln, Baptists, Barack Obama, Barbara Boxer, Bill Moyers, Border fence, CBS, CNN, Cold War, Colin Powell, Declaration of Independence, Flag, Gettysburg Address, GWOT, Hank Johnson, Harlem, humor, Immigration, Independents, Iowa, Iraq War, Jack Abramoff, James Comey, Katie Couric, Kid Rock, Lou Dobbs, movies, Pamela Anderson, parody, PBS, politics, snark, Ted Nugent, Thomas Jefferson

2 responses to “The Lapel Show

  1. Friend of the court

    I like the one with Snoopy, best. Lou better take off some of those flag pins before he tries to fly anyplace. Otherwise, he might have to strip down to his ‘stars-n-stripes’ boxer shorts.

  2. nonnie9999

    i just hope that there are not a lot of refrigerator magnets in the cnn break room. poor old lou might get stuck to the door and kitty pilgrim will have to sit in for him again.