But He’s Still Not Gay…

Here we go again, kids!
From the Idaho Statesman (Hey, kids! They have audio interviews over there!):

David Phillips. Mike Jones. Greg Ruth. Tom Russell.

Four gay men, willing to put their names in print and whose allegations can’t be disproved, have come forward since news of U.S. Sen. Larry Craig’s guilty plea. They say they had sex with Craig or that he made a sexual advance or that he paid them unusual attention.

They are telling their stories now because they are offended by Craig’s denials, including his famous statement, “I am not gay, I never have been gay.” Those words, spoken on live national TV on Aug. 28, are now memorialized on a just-released-for-Christmas Talking Senator Larry Craig Action Figure.

Original DVD cover.

David Phillips is a 42-year-old information technology consultant in Washington, D.C., who says Craig picked him up at a gay club in 1986 and that they subsequently had sex.

Mike Jones is a former prostitute who told the world he had sex with the Rev. Ted Haggard last year. The former Colorado Springs evangelist at first denied it but eventually confessed. Jones says Craig paid him for sex in late 2004 or early 2005.

Greg Ruth was a 24-year-old college Republican in 1981 when he says he was hit on by Craig at a Republican meeting in Coeur d’Alene.

Tom Russell, now 48, is a former Nampa resident who lives in Utah. Russell said his encounter with Craig occurred at Bogus Basin in the early 1980s.

A fifth gay man, who is from Boise but who declined to be named for fear of retaliation, offered a recent and telling account: He was in a men’s restroom at Denver International Airport in September 2006 when the man in the next stall moved his hand slowly, palm up, under the divider. Alarmed, the man said he waited outside the restroom and then identified the man in the adjoining stall as Craig, whom he had met in Idaho.

Men’s room, a hand sweeping the divider between stalls, palm up? That sounds vaguely familiar. I think I know what killed Mr. Whipple!

And when he emphatically told Matt Lauer he was neither gay nor bisexual, Craig persuaded 28 percent of viewers to believe he had been wrongly charged in Minnesota, according to a survey of 606 viewers by HCD Research and Muhlenberg College.

Is there any way I can get the names of that 28%? I need to unload some penis-enlargement tablets.
There is plenty more at The Statesman. Here are the headings (heh heh, I said head! πŸ˜† ) that introduce the individual stories:
DAVID PHILLIPS: SEX IN CAPITOL HILL HOUSE (Larry Craig’s next Singing Senator hit: I Found My Thrill on Capitol Hill!! In stores in time for Xmas!!)



Filed under Homophobia, Homosexuality, humor, Larry Craig, movies, Mr. Whipple, parody, politics, Republicans, Scandals, snark, Ted Haggard, Wordpress Political Blogs

17 responses to “But He’s Still Not Gay…

  1. Friend of the court

    Bogus Basin? Bathroom stalls? Maybe, he’s not gay. Maybe, he’s just a frustrated plumber. I hope he leaves the Congress and explores his true calling.

  2. nonnie9999

    or maybe a frustrated bathroom attendant. fill out that job application at the airport, larry! cheaper than seeing a shrink to get over that obsession he has with keeping public bathroom floors clean. better to put natural talents to use than to try to stifle them. that just messes you up!

  3. nightowl724

    Oh-oh… Someone’s been naughty! Poor Larry. He’s so misunderstood and maligned, Maybe he’s 28% straight and 72% gay or something.

    Great cover, nonnie. Bonus points for “I Found My Thrill on Capitol Hill!”

  4. nonnie9999

    thanks, nightowl,
    sorry to take such a long time in replying, but i am living in home repair hell, and i can only get to the computer sporadically. the contractors are not yet here to force ceiling dust into my eyes and lungs, so i am grabbing a moment at my computer before it is once again off limits to me.
    i think you might have those percentages backwards. as for the song, the parody possibilities are endless. i just have not had the opportunity to actually sit down and write one. maybe you need to give it a shot. πŸ˜€

  5. TRM

    Goddamnit Larry, go away, your making the party look bad and supplying nonnie here with fodder

  6. nonnie9999

    you love it, trm. you keep coming back, dont’cha?

  7. TRM

    I am simply applying the law of affirmative action in the blogosphere. You need me here or you would get shut down for being too one sided.

    But wait, the ACLU only cares about percieved liberal victims, not right wingers like me……

    I need to rethink my patronage here….

  8. nightowl724

    trm, you are the yin to the yang… the balance to the force… a necessary evil… and, the sugar in my coffee… SNARK!

    nonnie, I was trying to suggest that 28% support him because they actually believe he is straight…

    Don’t worry your pretty little noodle about how quickly you respond. Sometimes, I don’t show up at the parties for days – weeks, even!

    The song? I’ll think about it…

    trm, if I did write one, it would “have” to include Bill Clinton. You’d just love that, wouldn’t you?

  9. nonnie9999

    yeah, that nasty left wing aclu! they only care about liberals.

  10. nonnie9999

    night0wl, the 28% did not escape me. i knew exactly why you selected that number. i was in a rush to answer earlier, as i knew i would be banned from my computer by the contractors.

  11. TRM

    Thanks for the link nonnie, buuutttt,,,
    one mentioned our Supreme Leader…

    “The ACLU’s request to submit a “”friend-of-the-court”” brief on behalf of Limbaugh was filed today with the Fourth District Court of Appeal”

    El Supremo Bringer of Truth and Exalted Supreme Professor of all things Conservative, El Rushbo would never ask for help from the ACLU, he rules supreme and would squash the entire Democratic Senate in a debate and exercise in common sense, for dessert he would fart “left over” knowledge to destroy the ACLU’s utopian leftist vision for the future. whew…..

    nonnie for future reference the whole christian thing doesn’t do it for me remember?

    We should legalize the “dreaded weed” though πŸ™‚

  12. TRM

    Nightowl, I don’t mind Bill personally, I would like to party with him to be honest, I could be the ugly guy on the fringe takin the left over babes!!!

  13. nonnie9999

    rush windbag would ask the membership of al queda for help if his ass was in danger. he is all talk. when push comes to shove, he probably piddles in his pants. for the record, i don’t want to be within a 20-mile radius when he farts.

  14. TRM

    You have insulted the Supreme Leader. I have cursed your avatar. You will suffer “Rush Rashes” in the coming days, please do not itch them or seek help from abortion loving lib doctors, it will escalate into lesions and open sores. You will now smell his farts every morning at 9:23 a.m.

    Apologize and I will lift the curse.

    I am always right, just ask me.

  15. nonnie9999

    apologize? don’t hold your breath. then again, maybe you should hold your breath, especially if rush limpasawetnoodle is going to fart soon. by the way, i read that his farts smell like fred thompson.
    see what happens? you mention mr viagra’s name, and the site is brought down to the level of fart humor.

  16. TRM

    Humor truly worthy of the Dem party.
    at 9:23 a.m. you will smell it, ooohhhh you will smell it

  17. nonnie9999

    i live just down the road from a very large retirement condo. do you think the smell of gas still bothers me?