Yearly Archives: 2007

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A Guide to the Republican Presidential Debate

For those who might have missed it the first time around, MSNBC is re-airing the exciting, inspiring, scintillating Republican presidential snoozefest canonization Ronniepalooza debate tonight, Okay, I admit I didn’t watch the entire thing the other night. I really, really wanted to, but i have developed some kind of weird gag reflex thing. Don’t worry, though. I felt fine when I got up the next day!

The debate was held at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. Nancy Reagan was sitting in the front row. Reagan’s Air Force One hovered overhead. Reagan’s name was invoked 19 times during the debate (George W. Bush was only mentioned 6 times, and the candidates spit after each time). Does anyone else sense a trend here? Was this debate about the presidency and the things that people are concerned about now or a contest to see who could be the most like Ronald Reagan?
Since I didn’t see the whole debate, I thought i would investigate. I am sure you will be relieved to know that the candidates are their own men. They have no need to be like Ronald Reagan. The library and the widow and the jet and the 19 mentions were merely coincidences. Besides, these guys would not be so stupid as to try to compete to see who is the most like Ronald Reagan! Alberto “I can’t recall” Gonzales already has that won hands down!!
Oops! I promised you a guide to the debate, didn’t I? Here are the 10 candidates. I hope the photos help you to keep track of who is who, as well as proving to you that there was no attempt by the candidates to portray themselves as Reaganesque.

And don’t worry if you can’t keep them all straight (of course they are all straight! They’re Republicans!! You know what I mean!!); the host, Chris Matthews, will be on hand to ask the questions and help you sort it all out, and we know that there is no stardust in his nonpartisan eyes!!

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Chimpy, Chris Matthews, Duncan Hunter, George W. Bush, humor, Jim Gilmore, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, MSNBC, politics, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, Sam Brownback, snark, Tom Tancredo, Tommy Thompson

Can You Hear Me Now?

From the New York Times:

WASHINGTON, May 1 โ€” Senior Bush administration officials told Congress on Tuesday that they could not pledge that the administration would continue to seek warrants from a secret court for a domestic wiretapping program, as it agreed to do in January.

Rather, they argued that the president had the constitutional authority to decide for himself whether to conduct surveillance without warrants.

And, the Washington Post assures us that Chimpy can always make things worse:

The Bush administration is urging Congress to pass a law that would halt dozens of lawsuits charging phone companies with invading ordinary citizens’ privacy through a post-Sept. 11 warrantless surveillance program.


Original movie poster.

(A note from nonnie: Don’t know if the site is temporarily screwy, but the poster is alternately bigger and smaller when i preview it. Here is the large version just in case)

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Chimpy, FISA, Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, General Michael Hayden, George W. Bush, Harriet Miers, humor, Karl Rove, movies, NSA, parody, Patriot Act, politics, snark, White House scandals, Wiretaps

Ta Ta, Cheerio, Buh Bye, Tony!

Tony Blair promised yesterday that he would stand down as Prime Minister “in the next few weeks”.

What will Chimpy do without his Poodle?

Original movie poster.
Don’t let the door hit you in the bum on your way out, old chap!

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Filed under Chimpy, George W. Bush, GWOT, humor, Iraq War, Mission accomplished, movies, parody, politics, snark, Tony Blair, United Kingdom

Glenn Beck Speaks….

This is the cover of Glenn Beck’s book:
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Glenn had this to say on his radio show (from Media Matters):

And I read this one part on global warming about how they got — what was the first thing they did to get people to exterminate the Jews. Now, I’m not saying that anybody’s going to — you know Al Gore’s not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however. The goal is different. The goal is globalization. The goal is global carbon tax. The goal is the United Nations running the world. That is the goal. Back in the 1930s, the goal was get rid of all of the Jews and have one global government.

You got to have an enemy to fight. And when you have an enemy to fight, then you can unite the entire world behind you, and you seize power. That was Hitler’s plan. His enemy: the Jew. Al Gore’s enemy, the U.N.’s enemy: global warming.

If anyone reading this happens to run into Glenn’s publisher, would you mind suggesting that this cover might be more suitable?
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CNN must be so proud!

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Filed under Al Gore, CNN, Glenn Beck, Global warming, humor, parody, politics, radio, snark

Mission Accomplished?

Maybe he was……



Original DVD cover
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Filed under Chimpy, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, Iraq War, Mission accomplished, movies, parody, politics, snark

Paul, Don’t be Such a Dick!


Original movie poster.
From Times Online:

Paul Wolfowitz will plead to keep his job as President of the World Bank today before a special investigating committee, which is said to have concluded that he breached ethics by engineering a pay rise for his girlfriend.
…snip…
Earlier on the same day Mr Bush had once again praised Mr Wolfowitz โ€” who was sitting in the front row of an event at the White House โ€” for his leadership in the bankโ€™s fight against global poverty.
…snip…
The crisis arose from revelations over an alleged conflict of interest in decisions to transfer his girlfriend, Shaha Ali Riza, to a the US State Department where she received a tax-free $60,000 (ยฃ30,000) pay rise.

So, here it is in a nutshell. Ol’ Paulie has been playing fast and loose with the rules, the adults at the World Bank want him to resign, and Ol’ Paulie, like a bad houseguest, refuses to leave and insists he didn’t leave the toilet seat up in the executive bathroom. President Bush backs his buddy completely and insists that Ol’ Paulie is doing a heckuva job. Mr. Bush cited the accomplishments of his friend during his tenure at the World Bank, including unchaining the pens from the tables. Then he asked when he will be receiving his free toaster.

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Filed under Chimpy, George W. Bush, humor, movies, parody, Paul Wolfowitz, politics, Shaha Ali Riza, snark, State Department, White House scandals, World Bank

The State Department: Where the Rubber Meets the Toad

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Original DVD cover.

From ABC News:

Randall L. Tobias, a deputy secretary of state, tendered his resignation after ABC (After Being Caught?) News called with questions about an escort service allegedly involved in prostitution. Tobias was tasked with leading the African HIV/AIDS effort and promoted abstinence and faithfulness (can you say irony?). Tobias was uniquely qualified to carry out his duties, because he and his wife donated over 100,000 bucks to Republican candidates.
When queried about the escort service, Tobias insisted that there was no sex involved, just massages. It is not known if the ladies from the escort service rubbed him the wrong way.
The so-called D. C. Madam who ran the escort service, Deborah Jeane Palfrey, maintains that her service was legal and merely a sexual fantasy business. She said that if any of the women working for her had sex with clients, she was unaware of it (hey! she could be Attorney General!!).

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Filed under ABC News, D.C. Madam, Deborah Jeane Palfrey, humor, movies, parody, politics, Randall Tobias, snark, State Department, television, White House scandals