Yearly Archives: 2007

Another Episode of Attorney General Hospital….

Cue the dramatic organ music!
From the Barre Montpelier Times Argus:

The eavesdropping program was scheduled to expire on March 11, 2004, unless Ashcroft agreed to its extension. But at that time the attorney general was seriously ill with pancreatitis, so Comey was serving as acting attorney general. Believing the program to be illegal, Comey advised the White House he would refuse to sign off on it, and so Card and Gonzales were dispatched (it’s not clear who sent them, but highly unlikely they acted on their own) to Ashcroft’s bedside.

Wowza! This is gonna be a fun episode!!!
rousingashcroft2
Original movie poster.

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Andrew Card, Chimpy, FISA, Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, George W. Bush, humor, James Comey, John Ashcroft, movies, NSA, parody, Patriot Act, politics, snark, The Decider, White House scandals, Wiretaps

Mueller? Mueller?

Former Chimpy’s White House Chief of Staff Andrew the prick Card and then-White House counsel Alberto the weasel Gonzales tried to force then-Attorney General John I never thought I would actually miss him Ashcroft, who was ailing and in Intensive Care, to agree to continue an illegal wiretapping policy. Deputy (and acting) AG James Comey was standing by, as were FBI agents placed in the hospital room under orders from FBI Director Robert Mueller. Later on, Comey, Ashcroft, and Mueller threatened to resign.
I don’t think I want to be around when…..
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Original DVD cover.

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Andrew Card, Chimpy, FBI, FISA, Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, humor, James Comey, Justice Department, movies, NSA, parody, politics, Robert Mueller, snark, White House scandals, Wiretaps

The Magic Lute

George W. Bush finally got his war czar. There’s just a little problem. I’ll let the Washington Post tell you about it:

In an interview with Charlie Rose of PBS in January 2006, Lute said the military wanted “to see a smaller, lighter, less prominent U.S. force structure in Iraq,” both to undercut the perception of occupation and to prevent what he called “dependency syndrome” — the notion that U.S. forces will do what is necessary and therefore local forces do not need to step up.

Ultimately, he said, Iraqis need to forge a political solution. “Our purpose is not fundamentally to draw down U.S. forces, but rather to produce a durable, reasonable solution in Iraq,” Lute said. “And that absolutely hinges on the ability of the Shia, apparently the simple majority Shia, to produce a compromise solution that is inclusive of the other two major parties, the Sunni and the Kurds.”

So, he didn’t support the “surge” but he is working for the asshole incompetent blowhard fucking moron guy who ordered it. That can only mean one thing…….
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Original DVD cover.

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Filed under Chimpy, Douglas Lute, George W. Bush, GWOT, humor, Iraq War, movies, parody, politics, snark, war czar

Gonzo Throws McNulty Under the Bus

On Tuesday, Attorney General Alberto Wuss Gonzales showed his true colors. He put the blame for the firing of U. S. Attorneys on Deputy AG Paul McNulty, who had tendered his resignation Monday. Gonzales looked almost giddy as he said:

At the end of the day, the recommendations reflected the views of the deputy attorney general. He signed off on the names.

What a weasel!
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Original DVD cover.

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Chimpy, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, humor, Justice Department, movies, parody, Paul McNulty, politics, snark, White House scandals

The Rapture of Jerry Fallwell

Jerry Fallwell went to the great beyond today at the age of 73. After hearing the announcement of his passing, at least one target of his outrageously vemonous hate speech showed more class and respect than Mr. Falwell showed in his public life.
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Filed under humor, Jerry Falwell, snark, Tinky Winky

Meanwhile, at the Justice Department…

Deputy Barney Fife Attorney General Paul McNulty, mired up to his eyeballs in the shitstorm of Gonzogate worried about his family’s future, has tendered his resignation effective late this summer:

“The financial realities of college-age children and two decades of public service lead me to a long overdue transition in my career.”

Paul McNulty, soon gone. Monica Goodling, poof! Kyle Sampson, see ya! Let’s hope that pretty soon, we will be able to say…

Original DVD cover.

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Gonzogate, humor, Justice Department, Kyle Sampson, Monica Goodling, movies, parody, Paul McNulty, politics, snark, White House scandals

Cure for Our Long National Nightmare?

From CBC News:

People with implantable pacemakers may want to be cautious when listening to tunes on their iPods. Interference from the portable music player could cause pacemakers to malfunction, a study suggests.

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…just sayin’…

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Filed under Dick Cheney, humor, politics, snark