Yearly Archives: 2007

My Baloney Has a First Name, It’s D-I-C-K

From CBS News:

Despite objections from the National Archives and others, presidential spokesmen say Cheney’s office is not bound by certain sections of a presidential executive order that seeks to protect national security information generated by the government.

Why, that’s just…..
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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Dick Cheney, Henry Waxman, House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, humor, National Archives, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, White House scandals

Mormon Tabernacle Liar?

From the Miami Herald:

Forget the national polls that show Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of New York, as the leading candidate for the Republican presidential nomination. A credible argument can be made that Mitt Romney is the front-runner.

If that’s the case, I thought we should find out a bit more about Willard (yes, that’s his real name 😆 ). I wanted to check up on that whole hunting thing. Mitt says he is a hunter from way back, but some have pooh-poohed that notion, notably Senator Harry Reid:

I’ve learned one thing in listening to all the debates and reading about all these people running for office, and the one fact I’ve learned, I can’t get out of my mind, is that Rudy Giuliani has been married more times than Mitt Romney’s been hunting.

Well sorry, Harry, but I have found evidence of Mitt’s hunting chops. Here is a picture of Little Mitt roughing it in the woods on a hunting trip with his dad, former Governor of Michigan, American Motors chairman, and all-round rich guy, George W. Romney. See? He’s just like the rest of us.

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Original DVD cover.

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Filed under 2008 election, George Romney, Harry Reid, humor, Mitt Romney, movies, parody, Republicans, Rudy Giuliani, snark

They’ve Been Working on the Railroading

All kinds of new poop headed down the tracks in the runaway train that we so lovingly call Gonzogate. The Senate Judiciary Committee questioned Wan Kim, the current assistant attorney general for civil rights about reports that 3 minority women in the DOJ’s civil rights division were shunted aside to “make room for some good Americans” (you can thank Kim’s predecessor, Bradley J. Schlozman, for that little gem), and assistant Attorney General Paul McNulty was back in the hotseat in front of the House Judiciary Committee rebutting Monica Goodling’s version of the facts.
From the Washington Post:

In the Senate yesterday, Democrats seized on the report that Schlozman had, while acting assistant attorney general for civil rights, removed the female lawyers — against their supervisors’ advice — as new evidence that the Justice Department under President Bush has been infected by improper political considerations.
…snip…
Rep. Bill Delahunt (D-Mass.) described McNulty as the “caboose” in the firings process and said he had been unfairly singled out for blame. “I think you were poorly treated,” Delahunt said.

Al Fredo might think that he is driving this train….
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Original book cover.
….but we know who the real engineer is…..
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Original magazine cover.

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Bill Delahunt, Bradley Schlozman, Chimpy, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, Harriet Miers, House Judiciary Committee, humor, Justice Department, Karl Rove, Kyle Sampson, Mike Battle, Mike Elston, Monica Goodling, parody, Paul McNulty, politics, Sara Taylor, Senate Judiciary Committee, snark, Tim Griffin, Wan Kim, White House scandals

Keep Your Motherf&#%in’ Peanuts and Give Me a Motherf&#%in’ Gasmask!!

From the Houston Chronicle:

DALLAS — Continental Airlines Inc. is apologizing to its customers for “poor conditions” aboard a trans-Atlantic flight where one passenger described sewage spilling down the aisle from a lavatory.
“I’ve never felt so offended in all my life,” passenger Collin Brock of Washington state told Seattle’s KING-TV. “I felt like I had been physically abused and neglected. I was forced to sit next to human excrement for seven hours.”

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Original motherf&#%in’ movie poster.
Here’s more from the article:

The incident came to light as Continental was celebrating being ranked first among traditional network airlines in customer satisfaction by market-research firm J.D. Power and Associates. Chairman and Chief Executive Lawrence W. Kellner had said Continental offered “the best product in the industry.”

Hey, Larry, cheer up! That can still work. Just add one word and make it: the best waste product in the industry!

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Filed under Air travel, Continental Airlines, humor, movies, parody, snark

Demublipendent

From the International Herald Tribune:

NEW YORK: New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg lived most of his life as a Democrat before switching to the Republican Party when he ran for mayor, yet he never really fit in with either party.

Now, Bloomberg has apparently shaken off those labels and found the one that suits him, announcing this week that he has become an independent because it is more in line with his beliefs and gives him freedom to promote his agenda for the city.

I don’t ever want to hear again that women can’t make up their minds!!
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Original DVD cover.
Does this mean that the gazillionaire will decide to run for President? Shit, I don’t think he can decide which shoes he should wear. Black…no brown…no loafers…hey! Don’t make a commitment. Go barefoot. It will allow you freedom to promote your bunions.

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Filed under 2008 election, Democrats, humor, Independents, Michael Bloomberg, movies, New York City, parody, politics, Republicans, snark

Birds of a Feather…

So here’s the story. Tim Griffin, protégé and pastier version of Karl Rove, recently tearfully stepped down as U. S. Attorney in Arkansas. He replaced Bud Cummins, one of the victims of the shitstorm known as Gonzogate. Anyhoo, a couple of senators on the Judiciary Committee want to know what Timmy had been up to during the 2004 presidential election. There’s this activity known as “caging“, a form of voter suppression. Seems that Timmy was not too cagey about covering up his caging activities, and he accidentally sent evidence of his unlawful tinkering to the wrong email address. Monica Goodling knew all about it and has said that Paul McNulty, former deputy Attorney General, knew about it, too. Op-Ed News tells it much better that I can. Go on over and read it. I can wait….
All done? Good. Isn’t this the most fun scandal ever?! It’s comedy gold!!
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Original movie poster.
By the way, it’s been about a century or 2 since I took French in high school, so I have no idea if I parlezed le francais correctly or not, but, hey, it looks okay on the poster, and that’s all that counts. Right?

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Bud Cummins, Caging, Chimpy, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, humor, Karl Rove, Monica Goodling, movies, parody, Paul McNulty, Republicans, Senate Judiciary Committee, snark, Tim Griffin, White House scandals

A Bridge to Indictment?

From Sign On San Diego:

ANCHORAGE, Alaska – A federal grand jury in Washington, D.C., has heard evidence about a remodeling project at veteran U.S. Sen. Ted Stevens’ home as part of a burgeoning investigation into corruption in Alaska, the Anchorage Daily News reported Sunday.

Uh-oh, looks like Teddy (LUNATIC R-AK) might be in a bit of trouble. It’s enough to get your internet tubes in a knot! Oh, well, maybe he can get in line behind Scooter Libby for a pardon or he can build a bridge to somewhere while he is working on the prison chain gang. Oops! Almost forgot, even though Teddy and his Rethuglican buddies would like it otherwise, even Teddy is innocent until proven guilty.
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Original DVD cover. (yeah, it seems like only parts of the title survived!)

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Filed under Corruption, humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Scooter Libby, snark, Ted Stevens

Ranch Window Dressing…

Chimpy George W. Bush is reportedly spending Fathers Day at the brush-clearing photo-op ranch in Crawford, TX, where so many debacles started.


Original movie poster.

It’s been reported that Pickles Laura gave him a tie, and the girls gone wild his daughters gave him a CD. Their choices of gifts highlight the lack of imagination that runs through that family.

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Filed under Chimpy, Condoleezza Rice, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, Laura Bush, movies, parody, politics, snark