Yearly Archives: 2007

I, I, I, I, I!!

From David Swanson at After Downing Street:

House Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers has said that if three more Congress Members get behind impeachment he will start the impeachment proceedings.

Original DVD cover.
Top row:
William Lacy Clay (D-MO), Albert Wynn (D-MD), Keith Ellison (D-MN), Bob Filner (D-CA)
Middle row:
Sam Farr (D-CA), Maxine Waters (D-CA), Dennis Kucinich (D-OH), Lynn Woolsey (D-CA), Jim Moran (D-VA), Janice Schakowsky (D-IL)
Bottom row:
Barbara Lee (D-CA), Hank Johnson (D-GA), Yvette Clarke (D-NY), Jim McDermott (D-WA)
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Filed under Albert Wynn, Barbara Lee, Bob Filner, Bree Walker, Democrats, Dennis Kucinich, Dick Cheney, Hank Johnson, HR-333, humor, Impeachment, James Moran, Janice Schakowsky, Jim McDermott, John Conyers, Keith Ellison, Lynn Woolsey, Maxine Waters, parody, politics, Sam Farr, snark, television, White House scandals, William Lacy Clay, Yvette Clarke

This Just In: Intestinal Fartitude

And by this just in, I mean the camera attached to a tube (Hey, Ted Stevens!!! A tube!! A tube!!!) that was inserted into that asshole’s asshole George W. Bush’s intestinal tract when he had his colonoscopy. The test started later than expected. The first complication was that Bush took a strong laxative in preparation for the test and promptly began to melt away. When he was stabilized, the doctors kept mistakenly putting the scope into Bush’s mouth, unable to tell the difference as to which end was which, because the same foul discharge seems to come from both. When they finally started the procedure, they discovered that the NSA had already put a probe in Mr. Bush’s rectum.
Usually, there is a 48-72 hour wait for the results, but I just happened to have a little “inside” information. Not only do I have a snapshot of what the doctors saw, but breaking news as well! We now know exactly where Dick Cheney’s undisclosed location has always been! Here is the colonoscopic evidence:
Shouldn’t they be more concerned over what is in Michael Chertoff’s intestines rather than Chimpy’s?
In a related story, for several hours, all presidential powers were transferred to Dick Cheney, and the entire country had the shits just thinking about it.
* * *
On a serious note, cancer screenings of any kind are not a joke. I wish everyone could afford the testing and medical care that Chimpy and Cheney and Gutsy Chertoff receive.


Filed under Chimpy, Colonoscopy, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, Michael Chertoff, politics, Republicans, snark, Ted Stevens

The Politics of Booga-Booga

From The New York Times:

Yesterday, the director of national intelligence released a report with the politically helpful title of “The Terrorist Threat to the U.S. Homeland,” and Fran Townsend, the president’s homeland security adviser, held a news conference to trumpet its findings. The message, as always: Be very afraid. And don’t question the president.

Original DVD cover.
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Filed under Chimpy, Frances Townsend, George W. Bush, GWOT, humor, Iraq War, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark

Death of the Party?

From the L. A. Times:

Election day is more than a year away, but Republican Sen. Susan Collins of Maine is already facing a barrage of attack ads, protesters at her local offices and a strong Democratic challenger. It’s a far different environment than in her last race for reelection, when her popularity was soaring and she won a commanding 58% of the vote.

The one-word explanation for the change: Iraq.

Life of the Party
Original DVD cover.
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Filed under 2008 election, Al Franken, Chimpy, George W. Bush, Gordon Smith, humor, Iraq War, John Sununu, Lamar Alexander, movies, Norm Coleman, parody, Pete Domenici, politics, Republicans, snark, Susan Collins

All Night Long

Senate leader Harry Reid (D-NV) called for an all-night session of the Senate to pressure Rethuglicans to back an amendment proposed by Senators Jack Reed (D-RI) and Carl Levin (D-MI). The amendment would begin troop withdrawal from Iraq within 120 days of the bill’s enactment. The Rethugs were threatening a filibuster, which would require that the amendment pass with 60 votes instead of a simple majority. Senator Reid explained:

This week we’ll make Republicans answer for their refusal to allow an up or down vote on the most important issue facing our country today. We’re going to work today. We’re going to work tomorrow and work tomorrow night. We’re going to continue working on this until we get a vote on this amendment.

July 18 (Bloomberg) Cots were rolled into a room near the Senate chamber and food was prepared as senators took part in a night of debate that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pledged would last past dawn.


Top row: Harry Reid, Carl Levin, Jack Reed, Charles Schumer
Bottom row: Mitch McConnell, David Vitter, John Warner

Original DVD cover.
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Filed under Carl Levin, Charles Schumer, Chimpy, Chuck Hagel, David Vitter, Democrats, George Voinovich, George W. Bush, Gordon Smith, Harry Reid, Iraq War, Jack Reed, John Warner, Mitch McConnell, movies, Olympia Snowe, parody, Pete Domenici, politics, Republicans, Richard Lugar, snark

Downhill Racer!

July 16 (Bloomberg) — Seven members of Republican presidential candidate John McCain’s campaign press staff have resigned as the Arizona senator shuffles his team amid lagging fund raising and a drop in the polls.
The latest turmoil to hit McCain’s bid for the White House follows the resignations last week of campaign manager Terry Nelson and long-time McCain strategist John Weaver.

Original DVD cover.
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Filed under 2008 election, humor, John McCain, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark

Phillies Creamed!! Geez!!

The Philadelphia Phillies made history by losing its 10.000th game Sunday night. Now, I haven’t followed baseball for a while, but, if I remember correctly, 10,000 losses is not a good thing.
The St. Louis Cardinals handed the Phillies the loss (which might be a good thing, because I hear that this past week was not a very good one for cardinals!).

The franchise began in 1883 as the Philadelphia Quakers. All of the players left to make oatmeal, and the team changed the name to the Phillies in 1890.
They became the Blue Jays in 1943, but all of those guys must have moved to Toronto, so they changed the name back to the Phillies in 1945. (note: All of these facts may not be accurate, because I made them up except for the dates and the names.)
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Filed under Baseball, Chimpy, Dick Cheney, General Petraeus, George W. Bush, humor, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, Lindsey Graham, Michael Chertoff, Pat Robertson, Philadelphia, Phillies, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Sports, St Louis Cardinals, Tony Snow, William Kristol