Yearly Archives: 2007

A Giant Lie

Hammerin’ Hank Aaron’s record of 755 home runs was tied by Barry “Mr. Steroids” Bonds.
From the Washington Post:

For 86 years of baseball history, until Bonds connected against Hensley at 7:29 p.m. PDT, only two men had held the sport’s most cherished record: Babe Ruth, from 1921 until 1974, and Hank Aaron, from 1974 until now. But there is now a tie atop this hallowed list, and any day now, for better or worse, the record will be Bonds’s alone.

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Filed under Barry Bonds, Baseball, Chimpy, Hank Aaron, humor, movies, parody, politics, snark, Steroids, White House scandals

I Bet He Grinds Organs, Too!

Is it true that money buys happiness? Apparently, the Bancroft family thinks so. From the Guardian:

It was a sad week, perhaps, for the Bancroft family – that paternal clan of old-time warriors who fought valiantly to maintain the independent integrity of the Wall Street Journal. Or did they?

A less sympathetic observer might suggest that the Bancrofts spent three months indulging in navel-gazing dithering over Rupert Murdoch’s $5.6bn offer for their family media vehicle before indulging in a venal lunge for cash at the flimsiest hint of an extra incentive.

Whatever you think of the Dirty Digger’s politics, you’ve got to hand it to Murdoch – his handling of the Dow Jones battle has shown business brilliance and he has left the Bancrofts looking more dysfunctional than the House of Windsor.

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Filed under Alan Colmes, Bill O'Reilly, Chimpy, Daily Kos, Dow Jones, Fox News, George W. Bush, Greta Van Susteren, Hillary Clinton, humor, Jeremy Philips, John Edwards, John Negroponte, movies, News Corp, Nicholas Negroponte, parody, politics, Republicans, Rupert Murdoch, Scooter Libby, snark, State Department, Wall Street Journal, Wendi Deng

His Private Albatross

From the Yakima Herald-Republic:

Former 4th District Congressman Jay Inslee has introduced a resolution in the House that directs the House Judiciary Committee to investigate whether Attorney General Alberto Gonzales should be impeached.
…snip…
“The White House is defending the indefensible actions of Alberto Gonzales,” Inslee said in statement on his congressional Web site. “If the president won’t do his job, Congress will do ours.”

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Filed under Alberto Gonzales, Ben Chandler, Chimpy, Craig Morford, Democrats, Dennis Moore, George W. Bush, Gonzogate, Harriet Miers, House Judiciary Committee, humor, Impeachment, James Comey, Jay Inslee, Justice Department, Karl Rove, Michael Arcuri, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Scandals, snark, Tom Udall, Xavier Becerra

A Cover-Up?! Not Us…..

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From the Washington Post:

Former defense secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, making his first appearance on Capitol Hill since President Bush relieved him last year, denied yesterday that he or top generals tried to cover up the “friendly fire” death of former football star and Army Ranger Pat Tillman in Afghanistan three years ago.
Rumsfeld, at times combative with lawmakers, acknowledged that he urged Pentagon colleagues to “keep an eye on” Tillman when the former Arizona Cardinals safety gave up a lucrative football contract to enlist in the Army. But he said that he had no memory of when he first learned that Tillman’s death on April 22, 2004, might have resulted from fratricide, instead citing the recollection of an aide who attended a meeting with Rumsfeld shortly before the real circumstances of Tillman’s death were made public.

“It was badly handled, and errors were made, but . . . I know that I would not engage in a coverup,” Rumsfeld told the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.
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Filed under Army, Bryan Brown, Chimpy, Defense Department, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, George W. Bush, Henry Waxman, House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, humor, John Abizaid, movies, parody, Pat Tillman, Pentagon, Pete Geren, Philip Kensinger, politics, Republicans, Richard Myers, snark

Meet the New Scapegoat

From the Washington Post:

SHARM EL-SHEIKH, Egypt, July 31 — Army Secretary Pete Geren has censured a retired three-star general for misconduct in the investigation of the 2004 “friendly fire” death of former National Football League player and Army Ranger Pat Tillman. Geren also recommended that the general be evaluated for a possible demotion, an extremely rare move.

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Filed under Afghanistan, Army, Chimpy, Donald Rumsfeld, Executive privilege, George W. Bush, GWOT, Henry Waxman, House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, humor, Mary Tillman, movies, parody, Pat Tillman, Pete Geren, Philip Kensinger, snark, White House scandals

Northern Exposure

From The New York Times:

WASHINGTON, July 30 — The Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Internal Revenue Service raided the Alaska home of Senator Ted Stevens on Monday in search of evidence about his relationship to a businessman who oversaw a remodeling project that almost doubled the size of the senator’s house, federal law enforcement officials said.

The decision to raid the home suggests that the corruption investigation focused on Mr. Stevens, a long-serving Republican and former chairman, has taken on new urgency.

The businessman, Bill J. Allen, the founder of an oil fields service company that has won tens of millions of dollars in federal contracts with the senator’s help, has pleaded guilty to bribing state legislators.

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Filed under Alaska, Ben Stevens, Bill Allen, Bob Penney, Corruption, Don Young, FBI, humor, IRS, Lisa Murkowski, movies, parody, Republicans, Scandals, snark, Ted Stevens, VECO

Blair’s War (the Musical!)

From The Independent:

Gordon Brown tried to “move on” from the disaster in Iraq as he held his first meeting last night with President George Bush since becoming Prime Minister.

Speaking to journalists during his flight to Washington, Mr Brown remarkably made no mention of Iraq in what was seen as an attempt to distance himself from what has become known in Britain as “Blair’s war”.

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To the tune of Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter (written by Trevor Peacock, performed by Herman’s Hermits):
Mister Brown, help end this bloody slaughter,
Things are messy over in Iraq,
It’s so sad, Bush says things are on track,
He’s either lying, or the asshole is on crack.

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Filed under Chimpy, Darfur, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Gordon Brown, Great Britain, Guantanamo, humor, Iran, Iraq War, movies, music parody, parody, politics, snark, Sudan, Tony Blair