Yearly Archives: 2007

Slashing Prices

From Media Matters:

On The Situation Room, House Minority Leader John Boehner stated: “We need to continue our effort here [in Iraq] because, Wolf, long term, the investment that we’re making today will be a small price if we’re able to stop Al Qaeda here, if we’re able to stabilize the Middle East, it’s not only going to be a small price for the near future, but think about the future for our kids and their kids.”

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Filed under 2008 election, Abbi Tatton, Chimpy, CNN, Democrats, General Petraeus, George W. Bush, humor, Iraq War, John Boehner, John Kerry, John McCain, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Suzanne Malveaux, Wolf Blitzer

General Dissatisfaction

From Think Progress:

During the Iraq war, the Central Command (CENTCOM) head — who leads U.S. operations in the entire Middle East region — and the Multinational Force Commander (MNF) have regularly testified together about the course of the war in Iraq.
…snip…
In January, President Bush replaced Abizaid and Casey, who were “surge” skeptics, with Adm. William Fallon and Gen. David Petraeus. This week, Petraeus — in the first public hearings since taking on his new role — delivered his Iraq assessment to great media fanfare. But where was his boss, Admiral Fallon? Inter-Press Service suggests animosity between the two might be one reason for Fallon’s absence:

Fallon told Petraeus [in March] that he considered him to be “an ass-kissing little chickensh*t” and added, “I hate people like that”, the sources say. That remark reportedly came after Petraeus began the meeting by making remarks that Fallon interpreted as trying to ingratiate himself with a superior.

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Filed under Baghdad, CENTCOM, Chimpy, General Petraeus, George W. Bush, GWOT, humor, Iraq War, Jim Webb, movies, parody, politics, Ryan Crocker, snark, William Fallon

Toy Story

Time to start your holiday toy shopping!!

Sept. 12 (Bloomberg) — Mattel Inc. Chairman Robert Eckert blamed the company’s contractors for a spate of recalls of Chinese-made products and told a congressional panel the toymaker has taken steps to prevent further incidents.
…snip…
“Our standards were violated,” Eckert told the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on Financial Services and General Government.

Poor Mattel!! Poor Bob!! They are victims, I tell ya, victims!!!!

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Filed under Amy Klobuchar, China, Consumer Product Safety Commission, Dick Durbin, humor, Mattel, movies, Nancy Nord, parody, politics, Robert Eckert, Senate Appropriations Committee, snark, Toys

Disposable Griper

Larry, Larry, Larry! You can bitch and moan (on second thought, please don’t moan!) all you want, but, whatever legal hoops you jump through, you are not going to keep your seat in the Senate (hey, you like sitting other places better anyway, right?)! You come from a Rethuglican state with a Rethuglican governor who will replace you with a Rethuglican, so the Rethuglicans will dispose of you without another thought.

From the Spokesman Review:

Larry Craig, Idaho’s senior senator, contends he was so “panicked” that his arrest in a Minneapolis airport restroom would prompt a Boise newspaper to print a story falsely claiming he was homosexual that he wrongly pleaded guilty to something he didn’t do.

“While in this state of anxiety, Sen. Craig felt compelled to grasp the lifeline offered to him by the police officer; namely that if he were to submit to an interview and plead guilty, then none of the officer’s allegations would be made public,” Craig’s attorneys wrote in a request filed Monday, asking to withdraw his plea.

That panic continued from his June 11 arrest until he mailed in a guilty plea to a charge of disorderly conduct on Aug. 1, the court papers contend.

Gee, I hope he didn’t panic so badly that he had to poop!! He needs to avoid public bathrooms.

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Well, kids. You know what this means. I’ve done so many diaries about poor old Larry that I think he needs his very own song!
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Filed under Homophobia, Homosexuality, humor, Idaho, Larry Craig, movies, music parody, parody, politics, Republicans, snark

What’s Cookin’?

Hey, kids, did you know that Betty Crocker never really existed? Nope! Fake, make-believe, a figment of corporate imagination. From AdAge:

Betty was created in 1921 after a promotion for Gold Medal flour flooded Washburn Crosby Co. with questions about baking. To answer customers in a more personal manner, the company created a fictitious kitchen expert, pulling the name “Crocker” from a recently retired director of the company and adding the first name “Betty” because it sounded friendly.

Washburn Crosby’s female employees were asked to submit handwriting samples for Betty’s signature and the one selected as “most distinctive” is still Betty’s signature today.

You see, sometimes you need a face to put with a product. Do a little market research, find out the type of person you think the public will listen to and trust, and then let him or her do the talking!

On a completely unrelated note, General David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker testified Monday before before a joint meeting of the House Foreign Affairs and Armed Services Committees.

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Filed under Betty Crocker, Books, Chimpy, David Walker, Democrats, Duncan Hunter, GAO, General Petraeus, George W. Bush, House Armed Services Committee, House Foreign Affairs Committee, humor, Ike Skelton, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, Iraq War, Neil Abercrombie, parody, Pentagon, politics, Republicans, Ryan Crocker, Senate Armed Services Committee, snark, Tom Lantos

The Funda-mentals of the Fundamentalists

Reagan Lite? A little too lite, according to those crazy rightwingers!!
From the Associated Press:

Prominent evangelical leaders who spent the summer hoping Fred Thompson would emerge as their favored Republican presidential contender are having doubts as he begins his long-teased campaign.

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Filed under 2008 election, American Values, Arlington Group, Coalition of African-American Pastors, Family Research Council, Focus on the Family, Fred Thompson, Gary Bauer, Gay rights, humor, James Dobson, Jeri Thompson, John McCain, Mitt Romney, movies, parody, politics, religion, Republicans, Rick Scarborough, Rudy Giuliani, snark, Tony Perkins, Vision America, William Owens

Who’s the Boss?

Well, if you ask Army General David Petraeus, the answer is Admiral William Fallon. However, when it comes to strategery, it seems that Fallon‘s advice will fall on deaf ears (Fallon, fall-on, get it? 😆 Oh, how i crack myself up!)
From Times Online:

On the eve of a crucial verdict on progress in Iraq being delivered to Congress, President Bush faced claims yesterday that deep divisions had opened up between his Middle East military commanders over whether his “surge” strategy was working.

Reports suggested that Admiral William Fallon, chief of US Central Command in the region, had pressed for a significant withdrawal of troops so that there would be sufficient forces for other pressing challenges.

Ruh-roh!
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Filed under Afghanistan, Chimpy, Congress, General Petraeus, George W. Bush, GWOT, humor, Iraq War, Joint Chiefs of Staff, movies, NATO, Nouri al-Maliki, parody, politics, Ryan Crocker, snark, William Fallon