Kids, do you like movies about bloviators?

Chris Matthews in his own words and up his own ass (via Media Matters):

“I think a lot of people pick a president they figure would sort of like them if they knew them. And if you are overweight or have a problem with your diet — and I certainly did for years — you may figure Hillary doesn’t like people like me. She’s looking down on me. What do you think? Howie, she’s looking down on me, that woman. She thinks she’s better than me.”

No, Tweety, people don’t dislike you because of your fat ass. They dislike you because of your fat mouth.
idiotbox
Original DVD cover.

“I hear the sharp notes there coming out of her mouth. Is that bad for her? You know, like in piano music, the notes seem a half a note too sharp. And is that going to hurt?”

You can hear something over the shrill of your own voice, even when muffled there in your own rectum?

“Let me tell you how short Hillary’s leash is. She was asked by you, sir, about whether we’re going to get full disclosure of contributors to presidential libraries. And she did not feel that she had the latitude in her husband’s absence to give you an answer. She said, you’ll have to ask my husband, as if you’re a guy going door to door trying to sell someone and says you’ll have to wait for my husband to get home. It was unbelievable that she wouldn’t answer that. Never mind, let’s drop this. I just thought it was extraordinary that their deal doesn’t have that much clarity to it.”

Usually, we put things that are snivelling, snarling, and salivating on leashes. Who does that sound like, Tweety?

“Jill, do you think the fact that Hillary is a woman, that she’s married to Bill, and they have had the history of Motel 6 and raising money in the White House, the fact that she voted to authorize the war, adds up to a vulnerability?”

“Well, today Bill Clinton, as usual, tried to turn her dodging into a chivalry issue, something he’s done so many times before. He’s just looking out for his honey.”

“What do you make of her commitment on Iraq to keep the troops in there so she can do the old Betty and Veronica play here, where I’m for pulling the troops out but I’m for keeping the troops in?
…snip…
“She’s still doing this, what I call, this Betty and Veronica pyramid play of saying I’ll keep the hawks happy, I’ll keep the doves happy, I’ll keep some troops in forever to fight this Al Qaeda potential threat over there.”
…snip…
“She’s still doing this, what I call, this Betty and Veronica pyramid play of saying I’ll keep the hawks happy, I’ll keep the doves happy, I’ll keep some troops in forever to fight this Al Qaeda potential threat over there.”
…snip…
“Archie Andrews had in the comic books of Betty and Veronica. He wanted both of them. And that’s what she wants, both arguments. She wants to be seen as a hawk and be seen as a dove for the purposes of this campaign.”

Anyone remember Tweety referring to any of the male candidates as Archie and Jughead? If nothing else, we now know what Tweety reads in the toilet–chick comics!!
betty veronica tweety

“If she keeps cackling, we’ll keep talking about it. So I don’t think she can win this baby! I don’t know what to say.”

In the words of Tweety: HAH! HAH!

“What about when she does this sort of awkward, I think, or highly rehearsed, Us girls have to get together and circle the wagons against those men? Is that attractive to women voters or not?”

No, Tweety, we sit around and talk about the smell of English Leather wafting off Fred Thompson or the manly manliness of Rudy Giuliani or……oh, wait! That’s not us, that’s you!!

“What’s with her clapping? Why is she always clapping? There we see her — I don’t know any — is this a Chinese thing? What is this clapping? She doesn’t clap like you do at a movie you like or something. She claps when she meets people. She claps — is that Tom Friedman? I mean, she claps when she stands at a luncheon. What is all the clapping about?”

Yeah! What’s with all those film clips edited together showing her clapping? She should be standing up there saying 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11………..

There are plenty more quotes over at Media Matters. I would post more here, but, for some reason, my monitor is all covered with spittle.

Note: As of right now, I am firmly uncommitted as to whom I am voting for. I’m just sick of the sexist bullshit that passes as political punditry.

21 Comments

Filed under 2008 election, Chris Matthews, Comic books, comics, Fred Thompson, Hardball, Hillary Clinton, humor, Media, Media Matters, movies, MSNBC, parody, politics, Rudy Giuliani, snark, television, Wordpress Political Blogs

21 responses to “Kids, do you like movies about bloviators?

  1. in2thefray

    Thank you ! I tried my hand at image posting and pointed out Mr. Mathews idiot remark about Tonto,Boston and why Obama didn’t take NH by 20pts.

  2. nightowl724

    “No, Tweety, we sit around and talk about the smell of English Leather wafting off Fred Thompson or the manly manliness of Rudy Giuliani or……oh, wait! That’s not us, that’s you!!”

    Oh, dear! I had forgotten about those incidents. Why does Chris never fall all over himself for Mitt? Everyone else does…

  3. Got a Grip

    Oh, nightowl, Tweety likes beastly, bulging men, not plastic Ken dolls. Even Tweety knows that there’s no man material inside of Willard’s magic underwear. We’d have to prop Willard up, strap a flightsuit firmly around his crotch area and stuff it with a dozen pairs of socks before Tweety would get orgasmic. And plastic doesn’t hold the scent of English Leather well, you know….. 😉

  4. Got a Grip

    Lord knows I’m not Hillary fan, she’s at the bottom of my list of candidates. But Tweety has managed to make me feel sorry for her with his misogynistic bullshit. He really is reprehensible. He’s actually starting to make Tucker look good by comparison, and that’s quite a feat.

  5. Friend of the court

    Damn, after all this time watching, the train wreck that has been Bush, it would be so good to have a candidate who I could be committed to. There is, too much oportunity for distraction from the serious problems that are diminishing our country. I wish that I saw a leader. I don’t get into candidate fights because I don’t believe in any of them enough to fight about it.

  6. Got a Grip

    I hear ya’, fotc. I had my hopes set elsewhere, but they were dashed. Still, any of the field of Dems we’ve been presented with is better than what we’ve had to live through for the past 7 years. I just hope that there’s a country left for someone to be president of after one more year of Commander Codpiece…..

  7. Friend of the court

    That is the thing, “after one more year”. I keep remembering Bush saying that he is going to, “sprint to the finish line”. So much damage has been done.

  8. nonnie9999

    i sometimes wish that we had mystery candidates. you would not be able to see who they were, so you would have no idea what race, gender, or ethnicity they were. no idea if they were good-looking or ugly, fat or skinny, tall or short. no discussion about the color of a tie or the amount of cleavage showing. instead, there is a series of written tests as to how they would fix what is wrong with this country. there would be debates, but the voices will be distorted so that you cannot tell the gender of the person talking. one more thing–no party identification. after everyone votes for the person who has the best ideas, we find out who it is.
    shit, anything is better than what we have now.

  9. Got a Grip

    That would be a marvelous idea, nonnie. Instead of having a “horserace” where the land of pundits pushes their favorites, it would all just be a mystery until it was all over. It would remove the bullshit about whether the country is ready for a woman president or a black president or a plastic president and just bring it down to what they say. The debates could be like “What’s My Line?” used to be only it would be “What Are My Principles?”, maybe throw in lie detector tests along with it just to cut down on the total bullshit and keep them honest. Maybe we should start floating it. It’s every bit as valid at what we have now, or that bizarre idea of kos’ to twist the Michigan election.

  10. Friend of the court

    Parties are the problem. The DoJ hasn’t been made anymore politicalized than any other organization, it has been deeply Partized. Maybe, it has always been this way and I wasn’t paying enough attention but, if one Party makes the business of the government to extend that Party’s hold on power, then the interest of the Nation, as a whole, is not being served. The Administration, from which we are currently suffering, has made us a Nation as a hole.

  11. nonnie9999

    parties are the problem. money is the problem. the media is the problem. under my system, all of that goes away. the only thing that would have to be worked out is investigating their backgrounds. there would have to be an independent group of investigators to look into the backgrounds of all the candidates. we can’t vote for someone who sounds like they are one of the good guys when they are, in fact, bigots or crooks. i’ll have to sleep on that one.

  12. TRM

    Fred does not wear English Leather, he wear’s Grey Flannel, pack’s a 9mm, has a hot wife, fathered children well into his 60’s, competes in the UFC and hates crybaby moderators named Chris, who he refer’s to as Christopher when they get sassy…

  13. TRM

    oh yeah,,,……———> 🙂

  14. nightowl724

    TRM, you made me LOL when you said:

    oh yeah,,,……———> 🙂

    Welcome to the club, I think…

  15. Got a Grip

    Well of course Grandpa Fred wears grey flannel, TRM. It’s just wrong to send an old geezer out in the dead of winter without proper long johns. His circulation has to be shot to hell, especially with all that Viagra he’s taking drawing blood away from his brain and his extremities to produce results in other sensitive areas. 🙂 🙂 (Two smilies indicating extreme niceness and concern for the elderly…)

  16. nonnie9999

    if i was not nice, i would say that i am sure that, before the viagra, whatever grampa fred is packing is a mere 9 millimeters, and no amount of aftershave is going to make him appealing.
    but we all know that i am nice, so it will go without it being said. 😀

  17. TRM

    I have a confession to make…
    I am NOT nice. I am the furthest thing from it. I have actually been sent here as a spy for the vast right wing machine. I have collected information on you all. I have recorded your words derogitory to the GOP. I have reported to my superiors your liberal insubordination. I have ordered your mail read prior to its arrival at your home. I have instructed your neighbors to remain cautious should you approach with liberal socialist propoganda. I have marked the roofs of your houses with invisible dye to single you out to the aerial patrols. I have tapped your phones, (Nonnie stop calling those 900 numbers after everyone goes to bed).

    🙂
    That’s what you think we republicans do right? Gotta go, I’m gonna light a tree on fire with a tire and lump of coal so I can see the wildlife I am shooting with a completely oversized high powered rifle…

    I will be visiting your plants tonite with my special blend of Mickey Malt and GOP pee pee

    🙂
    Note: had I been telling you this in person I could not have held a straight face…

  18. nonnie9999

    there, there, trm,
    i will have hot chocolate and cookies for you when you get here. that’s because i am nice. 😀

  19. Got a Grip

    Well, TRM, that certainly explains the guys in SWAT gear masturbating on my front lawn with those (unrequested by me) Victoria’s Secret catalogs. I’ve been trying to get them to stop send those catalogs, my lawn looks like it’s been attacked by someone with a can of Silly String.

    And when you’re trying to listen to those tapes of me screaming at my TV whenever Chimpy appears, the key word you’ll be hearing over and over is I-D-I-O-T. I’m spelling it out for you so no one in the GOP has to look for the correct spelling.

    And please, hurry on over with that pee. My plants are kinda dry right now, they can use a good watering…. 😉

  20. i think hillary should do a whole show on tweety’s drooling…..

  21. nonnie9999

    she had better invest in some scuba gear first. he reminds me of daffy duck. maybe we should start calling him daffy instead of tweety.

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