Breaking Wind…I Mean News: Huckabee Announces Healthcare Plan for Seniors!

Mike Huckabee, concerned over health care, has revealed how he will restructure Medicare. It seems that all seniors really need is a good poop. From ABC News:

On MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” Friday, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee was asked about the fact that former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson repeatedly attacked him at Thursday night’s debate.

“I think Fred needs some Metamucil, I think it would help a lot,” Huckabee joked. “He was in a bad mood last night.”

Original DVD cover.

At an event Friday night at the Sticky Fingers Rib House in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina, Thompson called the comments “eighth-grade kind of potty humor kind of stuff,” reports ABC News’ Christine Byun, traveling on that Fred-riffic campaign.

Then Thompson stuck out his hand and said, “pull my finger.” (No reports on whether the finger was sticky or not.)

Huckabee defended his remark, saying that he was thinking vertically, and, if more senior citizens would poop vertically, it would reduce health costs. Opponents pointed out that there are water shortages all over this country, and if more seniors were pooping more often and, therefore, flushing more, the shortages would get worse. Environmentalists have noted that ingesting Metamucil can result in gassiness, and more farts will result in even more global warming.

As for Grampa Fred, he might have said that he was angry, but have you seen his new campaign poster?

Original poster.


Filed under 2008 election, Fred Thompson, humor, Joe Scarborough, Mike Huckabee, movies, MSNBC, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, South Carolina, Wordpress Political Blogs

38 responses to “Breaking Wind…I Mean News: Huckabee Announces Healthcare Plan for Seniors!

  1. Got a Grip

    LOL!!! Well, this will put a bug up TRM’s butt. I hope he’s got some Metamucil to help him dig it out. 😉

  2. nonnie9999

    with friends like mike huckabee, who needs enemas?
    i hope this diary makes some kind of sense. my mom and sister showed up, and i had to leave for a little while (nothing bad, just unplanned). when i got home, i had to make dinner, so i slapped that second poster together so i could post. i hope that trm is not disappointed. i had only nice thoughts while i was making the poster. 🙄 😀 <—-see? only nice, nice thoughts. 😀

  3. omg — lol — i will never take a poop the same way again……

  4. nightowl724

    Uh-oh! Bathroom humor…

    There goes Huck, “tooting his own horn” again! I don’t care if he poops diagonally, his shit still stinks.

    How did you get Uncle Fred upright and awake long enough to paint his portrait?

    nons, you are one funny lady!

  5. nonnie9999

    vertically, dcap!!! vertically!!! there will be no horizontal pooping here!

  6. nonnie9999

    i slapped that grampa fred poster together in about 15 minutes. i gave him his metamucil right before and told him it would be kicking in very soon, so he had better not nod off. i was able to work quickly, because i was using vertical photoshop.

  7. Got a Grip

    TRM will have to print out a big poster of that Grandpa Fred image to put in his shrine, nonnie. Or maybe we can all chip in and get it made for him for his birthday. That’s what us nice girls do, you know…. — > 🙂

  8. nonnie9999

    we can send it to cafepress, and trm can have it put on a cap, a coffee mug, a t-shirt, a button, and anything else he wants. that way, he can see it throughout the day.

  9. Got a Grip

    Maybe he can get a tattoo of it, perhaps on his chest. That will go nicely with the cafepress goodies. If he’s gonna be for Fred, he might as well go all the way… 😉

  10. nonnie9999

    there ya go, a tattoo!! where is trm? i am worried about him. i thought that he had an alarm system that goes off each time i even mention grampa fred.

  11. Got a Grip

    Yes, I’m worried about TRM, too. He’s usually so prompt when the Grandpa Fred alarm goes off. Perhaps the smell of Grey Flannel and Geritol coming off Grandpa Fred has combined to produce a toxic gas that has overwhelmed and incapacitated him. Should we send out a search party?

  12. nonnie9999

    i was thinking it was the vicks vaporub and the bengay. 😳 are rethugs allowed to use bengay? is there a benstraight that they can rub into their achy joints? it must be rough out there for a rethug. they have to be so careful.

  13. Got a Grip

    benstraight, apply directly to the forehead, apply directly to the forehead, apply directly to the forehead…..

  14. i fixed the link…thanks!
    you are hysterical

  15. nonnie9999

    no, dcap, not fixed yet. you put an extra letter in, and the link doesn’t work yet. therefore, as a service to readers of the raisin, i want to include this link to your amazing diary about Yad Vashem in hopes that everyone here will read it:

    in the meantime, fix the damned link, dcap!! 😀

  16. TRM

    Attention Denizons of this cess pool of liberalism. You have insulted Fred for the last time. Upon hearing the Fred alarm I drove to purchase a $300 camper, 16lbs of spam and vienna sausage, a best of Ted Nugent CD and will be traveling across country to exact my revenge on you all…
    It will not be pretty, it will be biblical in it’s viciousness. Feed your cats, hug your tree and tell ’em goodbye… 😦

    Fred is the only conservative candidate..

  17. Got a Grip

    I do fear for nonnie, TRM, as I think she’s closest to your vicinity. I know you are ever so threatening, I feel the menace. But I don’t think I’ll start quaking in my booties just yet. After eating 16 lbs of ground pork eyeballs and entrails and those tiny, pre-lubricated dildos in a can, I think you’ll be dead long before you find me….. 😉

  18. TRM

    Ted Nugent played at extreme volumes and over prolonged periods is a proven cholesterol and fat fighter… the republican force in me is strong!!!!

  19. Got a Grip

    Yes, but Ted Nugent played at extreme volumes over prolonged periods is also a proven killer of brain cells. I’m afraid you’ll get lost and be unable to find your way home.

    But if you do manage to find your way here, I’ll give you a good meal (I happen to be a fantastic cook) and a lovely glass of wine or two before you exact your revenge. Oh, should I go ahead and water my plants or just wait for you to arrive?

  20. nonnie9999

    oh, trm, you big silly! 😆 i’ve insulted fred for the last time? just wait until tomorrow night!
    gotta, have no fear. i will greet trm with pepto bismol and lipitor, as well as a box of tissues for when he finds out that i don’t own a cat.
    …or any plants for him to pee in, for that matter.

  21. Got a Grip

    Thanks, nonnie, someone has to watch out for poor TRM, and it looks to have fallen to us. How can he create rethug mayhem with these unseemly habits he has? Good thing for him we’re a compassionate bunch here.

    You don’t have a cat, but you do have that crocodile. Let him pee on that thing and we’ll see what happens….

  22. nonnie9999

    alligator, but i will have my camera ready to record how fast trm can run with his pants down! 😆

  23. Got a Grip

    Now that’s viral video at it’s best right there…. 🙂

  24. nonnie9999

    i hope he doesn’t have a virus of any kind (trm, not the alligator. well, not the alligator either, i guess. that would just piss him off more, i would think).

  25. Pingback: American Street » Blog Archive » Wham, bam, thank you, Uncle Sam!

  26. TRM

    Gotta,,, no need to water your plants, you already know my intentions… I like my meat rare and my wine room temp and red, why would you feed me prior to your demise?

    Nonnie, I urge you to excercise restraint with Fred,, it’s for your own good… hmmm I need a new belt,,, alligator’s I hear make fine one’s…

  27. Got a Grip

    Well, TRM, it’s just good manners. I was raised to be charitable, you see. I’ll feed you a good meal, we’ll watch a little CSpan together and chat, and then you can piss on my plants and throttle me. I must warn you, however, that I have a very protective little dog. You’ll get out alive, but your ankles will be very, very bloody…..

  28. TRM

    CSpan makes me a little randy, ,,,, your dog may get a surprise bit of attention 🙂

  29. Got a Grip

    Okay, TRM, now you’re just being creepy. These bizarre sexual obsessions you rethugs have is not healthy. Get thee to a mental health professional ASAP. And stay away from my dog!!! On this issue I will not compromise, I will take you down!!!

  30. Got a Grip

    And Grandpa Fred sucks vienna sausages! So there!!!!!!

  31. nonnie9999

    now, now children! 😡 play nice! don’t make me get up!

  32. Got a Grip

    But Mom, he’s so mean….. 😦

  33. nonnie9999

    don’t make me stop this car!!! 😡
    i don’t care who started it, you two kiss and make up now!

  34. TRM

    ok ok ok just testing my perimeter like any good POW would do,,, now I know pets are off limits…

    for that matter so is Fred nonnie…

  35. Got a Grip

    Alright, I’ll make up, but I won’t kiss him. He’s got cooties, republican cooties, and I have no Nix or Rid on hand to do away with them.

    I’m sorry, TRM. I’m sorry Fred sucks vienna sausages!!! :p

  36. TRM

    If you kissed me Gotta you would suddenly see the liberal party for what it is (a disease) and have an immediate urge to become republican, not to mention the “other” feelings that would happen,,, I am the smooch master!!!

  37. Got a Grip

    First of all, there is no “liberal” party, although there are several parties that do have policies that are liberal, some more so than others. I happen to belong to no party, per se, I vote as I see fit, and that generally leads me to vote on a Democratic ballot. I’ve kissed many a republican, and yet I’ve never had the urge to vote their way. And some of them have been extraordinarily good kissers, but what I did with whatever feelings that may have stirred will remain for me to know and for you to never find out, my dear. And I’m saying it ever so nicely. See? — — — > 🙂

  38. TRM

    Alright, I may be getting close to crossing some lines…. back to business….