What a Trend We Have In Jesus

From the New York Daily News:

MIAMI – Rudy Giuliani began his Sunday in an unusual place for him – at church – and with an unusual fellow congregant, the controversial former Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris.

Katherine Harris? He must have been visiting the Church of Our Lady of a Thousand Chuckles.

The former mayor, whose second divorce has left him on the outs with his own Catholic Church, started a three-day bus tour through Florida Sunday with a visit to the bilingual El Rey Jesus, a Hispanic evangelical Christian church here.

…snip…

“This is a beautiful church, and I can feel the spirit of God in this room,” Giuliani told the 7,000 or so worshipers.


Original DVD cover.

Speaking of his own Catholic school upbringing, Giuliani said, “I started every day of class making the sign of the cross, praying to Jesus, praying to Mary. … And it built into my very being an understanding that we have to pray for help.”

Hmmm, a bilingual Hispanic church? Wonder what he talked about……

He did not shy away from the topic of illegal immigration – an explosive issue within the GOP and one of obvious resonance for the mostly Hispanic crowd.

The former mayor changed his tone but not the basics of his position: that the country must end illegal immigration, while at the same time working to improve pathways for legal immigration. “In the age we live in, we have to now make sure that it’s a legal system,” he said to muted but respectful applause.

But the former mayor pointedly left out one of his standard lines – that those who want to become citizens must learn “to speak, read and write English.”

But that’s another story, back to Jesus….

From The Carpetbagger Report:

STUDENT: Recent polls show you surging… What do you attribute this surge to?

HUCKABEE: There’s only one explanation for it, and it’s not a human one. It’s the same power that helped a little boy with two fish and five loaves feed a crowd of five thousand people. (Applause) That’s the only way that our campaign can be doing what it’s doing. And I’m not being facetious nor am I trying to be trite. There literally are thousands of people across this country who are praying that a little will become much, and it has. And it defies all explanation, it has confounded the pundits. And I’m enjoying every minute of them trying to figure it out, and until they look at it, from a, just experience beyond human, they’ll never figure it out. And it’s probably just as well. That’s honestly why it’s happening.

From AlterNet:

Radical cleric and Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee wants to rewrite the constitution:

The United States Constitution never uses the word “God” or makes mention of any religion, drawing its sole authority from “We the People.” However, Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee thinks it’s time to put an end to that.

“I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution,” Huckabee told a Michigan audience on Monday. “But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that’s what we need to do — to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view.”

And don’t forget about Mittsie. He’s not one to outjesused by some hick preacher from Arkansas! In his own words:

“Over the last year, we have embarked on a national debate on how best to preserve American leadership. Today, I wish to address a topic which I believe is fundamental to America’s greatness: our religious liberty. I will also offer perspectives on how my own faith would inform my Presidency, if I were elected.

“There are some who may feel that religion is not a matter to be seriously considered in the context of the weighty threats that face us. If so, they are at odds with the nation’s founders, for they, when our nation faced its greatest peril, sought the blessings of the Creator. And further, they discovered the essential connection between the survival of a free land and the protection of religious freedom. In John Adams’ words: ‘We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion… Our constitution was made for a moral and religious people.’

“Freedom requires religion just as religion requires freedom. Freedom opens the windows of the soul so that man can discover his most profound beliefs and commune with God. Freedom and religion endure together, or perish alone.

…snip…

“There is one fundamental question about which I often am asked. What do I believe about Jesus Christ? I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and the Savior of mankind. My church’s beliefs about Christ may not all be the same as those of other faiths. Each religion has its own unique doctrines and history. These are not bases for criticism but rather a test of our tolerance. Religious tolerance would be a shallow principle indeed if it were reserved only for faiths with which we agree.

Yeah!!! Mittsie is all about religious tolerance. Except when it comes to Muslims. Gotta kill those motherfuckers!

“Infinitely worse is the other extreme, the creed of conversion by conquest: violent Jihad, murder as martyrdom… killing Christians, Jews, and Muslims with equal indifference. These radical Islamists do their preaching not by reason or example, but in the coercion of minds and the shedding of blood. We face no greater danger today than theocratic tyranny, and the boundless suffering these states and groups could inflict if given the chance.

…snip…

“Recall the early days of the First Continental Congress in Philadelphia, during the fall of 1774. With Boston occupied by British troops, there were rumors of imminent hostilities and fears of an impending war. In this time of peril, someone suggested that they pray. But there were objections. ‘They were too divided in religious sentiments’, what with Episcopalians and Quakers, Anabaptists and Congregationalists, Presbyterians and Catholics.

“Then Sam Adams rose, and said he would hear a prayer from anyone of piety and good character, as long as they were a patriot.

“And so together they prayed, and together they fought, and together, by the grace of God … they founded this great nation.

Wow! It’s like Mittsie was right there watching the whole thing! Just like he watched his daddy march with Martin Luther King!

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9 Comments

Filed under 2008 election, Catholicism, Christianity, Constitution, Florida, humor, Immigration, Jesus, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Mormons, movies, Muslims, parody, politics, religion, Republicans, Rudy Giuliani, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

9 responses to “What a Trend We Have In Jesus

  1. Friend of the court

    I am praying that a Democrat is elected. Also, that there is a hell, where nothing is “off the table”. Amen.

  2. Got a Grip

    If we’re talking strictly in terms of the “God Squad” then Chuckleberry wins hands down. He’s a theocratic nutjob, but I have no doubt that he honestly believes every word he blathers. Which is exactly what makes he so incredibly dangerous.

    Willard stands for something right up until the moment he changes his mind, over and over again. He’s what the fundies would call a “fence sitter,” never taking a stance that he isn’t willing to change for the sake of expediency. Chuckleberry’s bible says there’s a very special place in hell where the fire burns hotter saved for fence sitters like the Mittster. I hear plastic burns really well, although the fumes are quite toxic.

    And as for Rudy, well, God must truly be a tolerant being if he didn’t take this golden opportunity to strike Mr. 9/11 dead for having the gall to show his face in church, much less speak to the congregation. If I were a supreme being, I’d have lit that greasy little hypocrite up like a Christmas tree…..

  3. god has to be rolling his guys when he sees this version of the god squad.

    let us not forget that two members of the AG (all god) squad love to terrorize animals

    one in the form of microwave popcorn, and the other seems to be tied to the roof of a car. the third just lets his cronies abuse immigrants

    some squad

  4. nightowl724

    Dear Lord,

    Why haven’t you smote these folks?

    Amen

    PS Just askin’ is all…

  5. Got a Grip

    dcap, that other one tortures animals higher up on the food chain – people. I’d say announcing you’re divorcing your wife on TV without telling her first is a hair on the sadistic side. And then there are all those angry fire fighters who don’t quite see Rudy as being as saintly as he sees himself. So I’d say we can safely say they don’t have a very good track record where the animal kingdom is concerned….

  6. nonnie9999

    what? no comments on the title? i was so proud! it’s not like christian hymns are the first category i would be picking in jeopardy! oh, well, at least i entertain myself. 😛

    fotc, there is a hell. we are living in it.

    gotta, huckleberry is probably a true believer, but i don’t think he is to the extent that he portrays. he left the ministry behind and has both feet firmly planted in the bullshit of politics.

    dcAp, they terrorize anything and everything in order to reach their goals. i think that religion is based on fear, and that is very sad. at least to me.

    nightowl, i keep waiting for bolts of lightning at the debates. that would be good tv!

  7. dcup

    What a trend we have in Jesus? I’m going to be giggling over that one all day! I love a good word play.

  8. nightowl724

    Of COURSE I thought your post title was great! And, the movie title. And, the poster. And, the article. And, your snark in between the lines. And, your niceness. 🙂

    Why the heck do you think I come here every day anyways?

    But, I’m afraid if I keep telling you this stuff every day, you’re going to get a swelled head and maybe even start charging admission to your little daily show. Then what would I do?

    Love ya, nons!

  9. nonnie9999

    thanks, dcup and nightowl! 😀
    sometimes, the hardest part is thinking up a title, and i was struggling over this one. i heard that hymn in a movie (maybe in inherit the wind? great movie, by the way), and it finally popped into my mind after a slew of other titles. nuthin’ better than a little wordplay. 🙂

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