Love Commotion #9

From Times Onlne:

A call-girl has been ordered to testify about her tryst with Eliot Spitzer, the disgraced New York Governor, as prosecutors investigate whether he used campaign funds for his meetings with prostitutes.

Ashley Alexandra Dupre , also known as Ashley Youmans, has received a subpoena to appear behind closed doors before an investigating grand jury hearing the case against the Emperors Club VIP prostitution ring, her lawyer said in court this week.

Original DVD cover.
(Scroll down for another movie poster and an offensive song! 😀 )

The struggling singer was caught by an FBI phone-tap talking to an accused madam about her $4,300 encounter with a man identified as Client 9, now named as Mr Spitzer.

Ms Dupre reportedly had several “dates” with the man she knew as “George Fox” but realised only during their last meeting that he was the New York governor.


Mr Spitzer — a crusading former prosecutor who is married with three daughters — resigned on Wednesday without striking a deal with prosecutors on his legal fate.

Original DVD cover.

The New York Times reported today that prosecutors were focusing on whether campaign funds were used in Mr Spitzer’s dealings with the high-priced call-girl ring.


Mr Spitzer reportedly used the escort service on trips to Dallas and Florida. He attended a fund-raising event in Dallas in October and held another fund-raiser to West Palm Beach last month.

Among the information being sought are details of his use of car services in Washington. Court papers allege that he paid for Ms Dupre’s car ride from the train station to the hotel and back.

Mr Spitzer, who comes from a multimillionaire landlord family, is more likely to face charges stemming from his payments to the prostitution ring than from the sex itself.


Because Ms Dupre travelled by train from New York to Washington to meet him, he could also be charged under a 1910 law called the Mann Act that makes it illegal to induce prostitutes to cross state lines.

To the tune of Love Potion #9, written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, performed by The Searchers (sing along!):

I took my troubles to the Emperor’s Club,
May be the guv, but I am still a shlub,
I got a wife and kids, but for nookie I still pine,
That’s the way I came to be her Client #9.

I swung a big one, but in politics,
Was never lucky when it came to chicks,
I picked up the phone, got a tingle down my spine,
Said I needed service for her Client #9.

I met her down in D.C., she gave me a wink,
Whoever thought it would blow up and cause such a stink?
Next time I get the dumb idea to cheat on my mate,
I’ll do no wrong, I’ll grab my schlong, I’ll masturbate!

Life hovered over me, and then it crapped,
I didn’t know my phone was wiretapped,
Had to say I’m sorry, tell the world I would resign,
And all because I came to be her Client #9.


I’ll do no wrong, I’ll grab my schlong, I’ll masturbate!

Life hovered over me, and then it crapped,
I didn’t know my phone was wiretapped,
Had to say I’m sorry, tell the world I would resign,
And all because I came to be her Client #9.

Her Client #9…

Her Client #9…

Her Client #9…


Filed under FBI, humor, Justice Department, movies, music parody, parody, politics, Scandals, snark, Wiretaps, Wordpress Political Blogs

5 responses to “Love Commotion #9

  1. nightowl724

    Applause! Applause!

    This was a real treat, from the post title to the posters to the fab song.

    I’m glad the country is focused on all the right things at the moment – forget the wars, the inflation, the energy prices, the healthcare crisis. the housing plight, the stock market drops, the job losses, the privacy issues, and the shredding of the Constitution.

    Let’s talk SEX!

    {However, I think Spitzer is one big JERK [pun intended] for what he did. No excuses.}

  2. Friend of the court

    At least he didn’t cry and go into rehab.

  3. nonnie9999

    thanks, nightowl,
    the song was really an afterthought. i couldn’t think of a title, and once i did, then i had to write the song.
    i have no idea if there are acceptable excuses or not. for all we know, the spitzers have an open marriage. he was stupid, because he broke the law. i happen to think the law is stupid. prostitution should be legalized, regulated, and taxed.

    you always have the perfect comment! 😆

  4. nightowl724

    Well… I think if the Spitzers had an open marriage, one or both of them would have said so by now. So, in my mind, he broke a vow and a contract, which would have been true whether he was with a legal or an illegal prostitute. So, hey, you and I differ on our views about something. It’s about damn time! 🙂

  5. nonnie9999

    are you kidding? having an open marriage is more of a political career-killer than going to hookers! let’s face it, when men screw around, the public eventually forgives (except when another pol gets on his/her hypocritical high horse and brings it up to attack someone). a peccadillo is forgivable, but kinky (which is how people view open marriages) is remembered forever.
    i don’t know if he broke a vow or not. we have no idea what goes on in their marriage. maybe it is a marriage of convenience or maybe they are staying together for the kids. for all we know, silda knew all about the hookers.
    i can only speak for myself, but if i was still married (ptooie, ptooie, ptooie), i would prefer my husband going to hookers (disease-free ones, of course) than having an affair. with an affair, there is emotional intimacy as well as physical intimacy. while either would most likely hurt my feelings, a hooker is just getting a physical need filled by a professional.
    maybe i have been divorced too long, and that has given me an entirely different perspective than i would have if i was still married. i just don’t believe that human beings are basically monogamous. marriage vows were easy to keep when people died at the age of 30. it’s a lot more difficult now that we live to 70 or 80.