I’d tell him to screw himself, but I don’t know if he’d remember how!

From The Caucus at The New York Times (from March 16,2007):

The unthinkable has happened. Senator John McCain met a question, while sitting with reporters on his bus as it rumbled through Iowa today, that he couldn’t – or perhaps wouldn’t – answer.

Did he support the distribution of taxpayer-subsidized condoms in Africa to fight the transmission of H.I.V.?

What followed was a long series of awkward pauses, glances up to the ceiling and the image of one of Mr. McCain’s aides, standing off to the back, urgently motioning his press secretary to come to Mr. McCain’s side.

Original DVD cover.

The upshot was that Mr. McCain said he did not know this subject well, did not know his position on it, and relied on the advice of Senator Tom Coburn, a physician and Republican from Oklahoma.


A transcript of the encounter follows. (Weaver is John Weaver, his senior adviser, and Brian is Mr. Jones, his press secretary):

Reporter: “Should U.S. taxpayer money go to places like Africa to fund contraception to prevent AIDS?”

Mr. McCain: “Well I think it’s a combination. The guy I really respect on this is Dr. Coburn. He believes – and I was just reading the thing he wrote– that you should do what you can to encourage abstinence where there is going to be sexual activity. Where that doesn’t succeed, than he thinks that we should employ contraceptives as well. But I agree with him that the first priority is on abstinence. I look to people like Dr. Coburn. I’m not very wise on it.”

(Mr. McCain turns to take a question on Iraq, but a moment later looks back to the reporter who asked him about AIDS.)

Mr. McCain: “I haven’t thought about it. Before I give you an answer, let me think about. Let me think about it a little bit because I never got a question about it before. I don’t know if I would use taxpayers’ money for it.”

Q: “What about grants for sex education in the United States? Should they include instructions about using contraceptives? Or should it be Bush’s policy, which is just abstinence?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “Ahhh. I think I support the president’s policy.”

Q: “So no contraception, no counseling on contraception. Just abstinence. Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “You’ve stumped me.”

Q: “I mean, I think you’d probably agree it probably does help stop it?”

Mr. McCain: (Laughs) “Are we on the Straight Talk express? I’m not informed enough on it. Let me find out. You know, I’m sure I’ve taken a position on it on the past. I have to find out what my position was. Brian, would you find out what my position is on contraception – I’m sure I’m opposed to government spending on it, I’m sure I support the president’s policies on it.”

Q: “But you would agree that condoms do stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Would you say: ‘No, we’re not going to distribute them,’ knowing that?”

Mr. McCain: (Twelve-second pause) “Get me Coburn’s thing, ask Weaver to get me Coburn’s paper that he just gave me in the last couple of days. I’ve never gotten into these issues before.”

This went on for a few more moments until a reporter from the Chicago Tribune broke in and asked Mr. McCain about the weight of a pig that he saw at the Iowa State Fair last year.

Tip of the hat to beholderseye over at the big orange.


Filed under 2008 election, Chimpy, George W. Bush, humor, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Tom Coburn, Wordpress Political Blogs

17 responses to “I’d tell him to screw himself, but I don’t know if he’d remember how!

  1. nonnie9999

    hi again, insane! 😀
    i couldn’t believe it when i read it. does it take a medical expert to figure out that condoms protect against hiv/aids? 🙄 nothing is 100%, of course. well, except captain underpants’s ignorance, it appears.

  2. gasdocpol

    McCain does not know much about biology ♫

    Economics is not his strong suit either.

    Why am I not surprised that he was 5th from the bottom of his class at the Naval Academy.

  3. kip

    We already have a dunce in the White House, so why not replace him with a dunce who has Alzheimer’s?

  4. nonnie9999

    hi gasdocpol!
    nice to hear from you again! 😀
    maybe capt underpants and dana perino can do a duet!

  5. nonnie9999

    hiya kip!
    the more capt underpants speaks, the more he looks like a doddering old fool. will joe mcliebercain be at his side for his entire term, whispering in his ear?

  6. Anyone noticed that McCain more and more comments he has the same position as Bush? His last speech on Iraq sounded like he stole the words right from Bush’s past speeches.

    McCain trying to lose the election on purpose? Who is advising him?

    Remember the image you should have of him when think of McCain.

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  8. nonnie9999

    😆 welcome to the raisin, mj! 😀 that image is absolute perfection!!

  9. nightowl724

    Ya know, I just couldn’t comment on this one earlier.

    I. Just. Can’t. Believe. This. Buffoon. Might. Be. Our. Next. President.

    I mean it.

  10. nonnie9999

    why do you think i usually just cut and paste? i am usually rendered speechless after reading this stuff.

  11. nightowl724

    Rendered speechless, infuriated, nauseated, or (gratefully) comatose!

  12. in2thefray

    That damn McCain he just wants everyone to be punished with children.

  13. nonnie9999

    i’ll bet old capt underpants was all about not being punished with children when he was boinking outside of his marriages.

  14. gasdocpol


    Anyone who refers to sexual intercourse as “boinking” cannot be ALL bad. lol

  15. nonnie9999

    i call it boinking, because i am a friggin’ lady! 🙂