There’s No Business Like Faux Business!

Kids, I am distressed. Fox News is being accused of digitally altering photos of a journalist and an editor at The New York Times. From Media Matters:

On the July 2 edition of Fox News’ Fox & Friends, co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade labeled New York Times reporter Jacques Steinberg and editor Steven Reddicliffe “attack dogs,” claiming that Steinberg’s June 28 article on the “ominous trend” in Fox News’ ratings was a “hit piece.” During the segment, however, Fox News featured photos of Steinberg and Reddicliffe that appeared to have been digitally altered — the journalists’ teeth had been yellowed, their facial features exaggerated, and portions of Reddicliffe’s hair moved further back on his head. Fox News gave no indication that the photos had been altered.

Now, I for one don’t believe a word of it! Doesn’t Media Matters know that Fox News is fair and balanced? It must be true; I heard it on the news…..on Fox! They would never do something so sophomoric as altering pictures! Anyway, you can read the hit piece over at Media Matters if you want. I am not going to copy any more of that nonsense over here. Instead, I thought I would post pictures of the journalists whose integrity Media Matters is impugning, as well as some of the rest of the gang at Fox News. First is one of the morning hosts of Fox and Friends, Steve Doocy.

Next is Steve’s co-host, Brian Kilmeade, the other stellar journalist maligned by Media Matters.

Who could believe the home of a serious journalist like Bill O’Reilly could ever do anything so childish?

Fox News is not a silly children’s channel that plays silly games. If it were, would it attract newmen with the gravitas and unwavering truthfulness of Brit Hume and pundits with the unbiased wisdom of Karl Rove?

Even if you think there is the slightest chance that any of these dedicated giants of journalism would ever stoop to something as mean and nasty as altering the photographs of perceived enemies, they would never be allowed to under the watchful eye of the president of Fox News Channel, Roger Ailes!

I hope that Media Matters apologizes quickly and genuinely!


Filed under Bill O'Reilly, Brian Kilmeade, Fox News, humor, Karl Rove, Media, Media Matters, New York Times, parody, politics, Republicans, Roger Ailes, snark, Steve Doocy, Wordpress Political Blogs

18 responses to “There’s No Business Like Faux Business!

  1. I am now hysterical!

  2. someone please slap dcup! immediately! she’s hysterical! 😯 😮

  3. Friend of the court

    Beautiful! nonnie, you are a true artist. With photo skills like that, you could get a job at the Department of Motor Vehicles. Love the Karl Cricket.

  4. thanks, fotc! 😀
    just the dmv? i can’t get a job at faux news? 😥 i actually had a karl cricket a long time ago. it was in this diary, back in my mspaint days.

  5. Friend of the court

    I fear that you may be too honest to work at faux.

  6. everyone has her price, fotc. 😉

  7. jlms qkw - jenn

    zomg, my funnyweird meter just went “sprong”!

    hope your hair is well.

  8. oh my! what have i done? dcup is hysterical, and jenn has spronged! 😯
    i look like a chianonnie. my flat iron is warmed up in the bathroom, but i have been photoshopping and cutting out mats (last minute thing). now i must get back to work!

  9. jeb

    Nonnie, I’m offended. I doubt the integrity of your piece and I suspect that your photos may be doctored. Just look at Hume’s nose. That cannot possibly be real. If we read from the book of Pinnochio, we can verify that it should be much longer. I also have it on good authority that Kilmeade does not wear a dress – Doocy on the other hand…

    I hope you will consider the possible damage you’ve done to your reputation as a journalist by doctoring photos. We all know that Sid Woodward and Elmer Bernstein never doctored photos. However, Bernstein’s cousin Lou was a doctor and took up photography as a hobby. Of course he used his faithful Brownie to snap the infamous pic of the Mayor sharing a hotdog at the Walgreen’s counter with Le Duc Tho and the ensuing scandal led to the eventual eviction of Dr. Bernstein from the Walrus lodge. This may have been a blessing since his high-pitched nasal intonnation made him the object of scorn because he could not affect the low gutteral call required for the initiation ceremony.

    Be that as it may, it should serve as a moral reminder of the danger of doctoring photos.

  10. jeb

    Oh, and speaking of doctoring photos, don’t even get me started on X-Ray’s.

  11. jeb,
    i can’t consider anything at the moment. after 3 hours of sleep, i spent the day running after a 4-year-old at another 4-year-old’s bday party in the blazing heat (something i have not had to do in a couple of decades). i am exhausted and can hardly move, let alone think. i will answer any comments tomorrow–if i wake up by then! 😉

  12. jeb

    Four year old BDay parties. These are the final frontier. This is the store of the adventures of the starship Nonnieprise, her mission to see out children overstuffing on cake, to clean up vomit off of the pin-the-tail-on-the-d0nkey game. To boldly go where no virtual satarist has gone before… whooooop.

    Been there, done that. Good rest and recuparation. My comments are like the August 6th PDB. You’ve covered your ass son.

  13. jeb,
    it took you this long to be offended? 😯 i must be doing something wrong.
    my photos doctored? how dare you, sir! 😮 hume is in show biz. everyone in show biz has nosejobs! kilmeade does wear a dress when old rupert tells him to. you are correct, though, you can’t get doocy out them!

    as to my reputation, damaging it would be like making making a skunk smell a little bit worse. nobody would notice. i would read your warning about the morality of doctoring photos, but i am still quite tired, and my eyes are killing me. perhaps tomorrow.

    p.s. in all truthfulness, i did doctor hume’s pic. i pasted in a picture of a goldfish in a bowl. we all know that hume would never give a home to a helpless animal. 😉

  14. jeb,
    i cannot believe that i actually survived having a child. i can barely move. every muscle, every tendon, every sinew in my entire body is screaming for mercy!
    after 5 hours of running after her at the party (which included, of course, steep steps on a 3-story enormous treehouse) and then a trip to the supermarket (she was starving. why eat for free at the party when nonnie will take you shopping afterwards?), we wound up back at my sister’s house. after playing for a while, the aforementioned 4-year-old went potty. she announced that she was done and needed someone to wipe her butt. my sister was in the other bathroom, and the little one’s father was outside getting her carseat and food purchases out of the car). i was the only one left. now, i have not wiped anyone’s butt in many, many years. well, there’s mine, but, to tell you the truth, if i could afford it, i would hire someone to wipe that. anyway, that’s how the day culminated–wiping a little poopy tush.
    i thought i would sleep like the dead, but, instead, i kept waking up every couple of hours.
    all in all, it was wonderful, and i would do it again in a heartbeat. what can i say? i love kids.

  15. jeb

    I know what you mean. Tomorrow we are taking my kids and my sister’s kids to Six Flags. I really kinda dread it but it is necessary because we are on vacation and they want to go.

    Two years ago, when we were last in Texas, we did Six Flags and all of the adults left in one car with me with a van full of my kids and my sisters kids. One of her kids puked in the van so I had to pull over at a 7-11, run herd on 7 children and clean up the vomit. I told my sister that she is staying with the van this time. I don’t mind cleaning up after my own but I don’t like doing that for others (even nephews and nieces).

  16. jeb,
    you should have figured out the averages before you left. 7 kids means that one of them is bound to vomit. i think i would rather wipe a poopy tush than clean up vomit.
    when they were little, my nephew and niece lived with me, so i am used to cleaning up behind other people’s kids. i am just out of practice cleaning up other people’s kids’ behinds.

  17. jeb

    Well it all pales in comparison to the mess Obama is going to have to clean up after this spoiled brat leaves office. I just don’t know why anyone would want that task.

  18. chimpy is worse than poopy tush. he’s more like a poopy diaper when the baby has eaten a whole jar of stewed prunes and hasn’t gone in a few days.