Tempest in a C-Cup

From the Los Angeles Times:

WASHINGTON — Federal judges today tossed out the $550,000 fine levied against CBS Corp. after Janet Jackson’s breast was briefly bared during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show, ruling that the Federal Communications Commission “acted arbitrarily and capriciously” in penalizing the network for a “fleeting image of nudity.”

The decision is another blow to the aggressive indecency policy the FCC has adopted and enforced under chairman Kevin J. Martin and throws the agency’s indecency enforcement into further disarray.

Hell, kids, Janet’s booby exposure is nothing compared to what I think will occur at the presidential debates…

Original photo.
Of course, besides keeping you kids abreast of what is going on, this is all just an excuse to repost the song parody I wrote right after Nipplegate occurred. Yeah, I know, I’m just milking this for all it is worth.

To the tune of That’s Amore, music by Harry Warren, lyrics by Jack Brooks, as performed by Dean Martin:

When your voice sounds like $hit,
You must whip out a tit,
That’s show bizness (that’s show bizness),
No better than the rest?
Well then, pop out a breast,
That’s show bizness (that’s show bizness).

Who’s to blame, when you have no shame,
Not a drop of class, nor a trace of compunction?
Don’t you worry, dear, just make it clear,
And swear it was
Just a “wardrobe malfunction”.

Your career took a dive,
It was barely alive,
Like some others (like some others),
But it’s hard, i suppose,
To compete with a nose,
Like your brother’s (like your brother’s).

It’s too bad that you’re sad,
Cause you never could sing just like Whitney,
What to do to prove you can shock too,
Like Madonna and Britney?

Oh, I know you don’t care,
That your booby was bare,
That’s pathetic (that’s pathetic),
But I’ll cut you some slack,
I know your lack of tact,
Is genetic (it’s genetic)!!!

[Note: I wrote this in 2004, before I had ever even heard of Youtube, so this will not scan exactly with the original cited]

14 Comments

Filed under 2008 election, Barack Obama, Chimpy, FCC, Federal Communications Commission, George W. Bush, humor, John McCain, music parody, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

14 responses to “Tempest in a C-Cup

  1. jlms qkw - jenn

    lol! lmao! roflol!

    i totally missed the original event – we were living in germany. i stayed up all night to listen to the game on armed forces radio, was so bored by the first half i went to bed.

    and another w-minion is batted down. hah.

  2. jenn!!!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€
    it’s been so quiet around here! it’s seems as though all the raisinettes are on vacation or busy.
    i missed the original event, too. i usually just watch only the last quarter of the superbowl (though i click over to see if i can catch any of the commercials). i used to like football a lot more when i was working and had a stake in the office pools. now i usually watch the adorable puppy bowl on animal planet. where was i? oh yeah, i can’t stand janet jackson or jason timberlake, so i certainly was not going to tune in during halftime. i saw it on the news later on.

  3. jeb

    The fine in that SB should have been levied on the Raiders Offense… Don’t get me started.

    The irony is that my kids were watching the SB with me and I got up to change the laundry during Janet (shows what a fan I am) and the kids watched the half-time show.

    Guess what family values folks. They were watching and didn’t even know what happend. We had the looming war with Iraq and this was the big news story? My God Nero, keep fiddling!!!!!

  4. That was one of the few Super Bowl’s this decade that I’ve watched all the way through (for some reason I forget, I didn’t have to drop off my daughter nor was I traveling to Canada to see my then girlfriend) and happened to be in front of the tube for the halftime show as well. I saw the “wardrobe malfunction” and thought, “Did I really see what I just saw? That had to have been an accident!” I was amazed at the flap over something that pretty obviously was not planned by the network.

  5. jeb,
    i think you are absolutely correct. most people didn’t even realize her nasty old boob was hanging out. you can bet that the precious impressionable kids that the crazies are so worried about didn’t know anything was going on until the same crazies made a big stink over it. jeez, a boob is just a boob! the crazied voted for one twice, so what’s their beef with this particular one?

  6. hi vincent! πŸ˜€
    do you have a big screen tv? otherwise, i don’t know how anyone could have been sure that they were seeing what they were seeing.
    i don’t believe for a moment that it was an accident. if you are going to have half your top ripped off on national tv, wouldn’t you check to make sure that the wardrobe department got it right? it was a publicity stunt, pure and simple, and ms jackson got exactly what she wanted. the stupid media and the crazies on the right insured she did.

  7. That is a hilarious picture, Nonnie, but I think the visual has also left me emotionally scarred.

  8. nightowl724

    jeez, a boob is just a boob! the crazied voted for one twice, so what’s their beef with this particular one?

    The TITLE!

    hahahahahahaHA!

  9. nightowl,
    i cannot take credit for the title. there was a kossack who had a similar name, and it came to mind when i was trying to think of a title.

  10. thanks em! πŸ˜€
    i hope you don’t think i was ignoring you. for some strange reason, your comment wound up in the spam filter. i have no clue why.
    i am sorry if i have emotionally scarred you. what can i do to make it better?

  11. Time – 180 days from today – will heal this wound.

  12. gaping wounds always take time to heal, em. i just hope the scar is not too nasty.

  13. the whole boob job lasted 2 seconds…… what made this a big deal was ALL the tivo-ing of the boob shot and then still frames.

    we are the most ridiculously prudish nation on earth —

  14. dcAp,
    ain’t that the truth! collectively, this country has the maturity level of a junior-high schoolboy.

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