Gilligan’s Island–Ready for Offshore Drilling?

To the tune of the theme from Gilligan’s Island:

Just sit right back, and you’ll hear a tale,
Worse than a bad acid trip!
That started with an asshole,
And a guy with a crooked lip.

The mate was a stupid, drooling man,
As dumb as a hockey puck,
The citizens were not prepared,
For an 8-year clusterfu¢k.

An 8-year clusterfu¢k. [sound of thunder: crack!]