Speak Shrilly, and Carry a Big Shtick

So, kids, didya watch? Lemme tell ya, if the requirements for Vice President are the ability to memorize catch phrases and repeat them over and over and over again, the Dems are in big trouble!



Hey kids! Maybe the Chatty Sarah Doll will be available in time for Christmas!

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

Republican vice presidential candidate Gov. Sarah Palin – marshaling folksy charm, brimming confidence and barbed attacks – faced down a crucial test to her political future in Thursday’s debate against Sen. Joe Biden, a contest that appeared to do little to change the landscape of the presidential race.

…snip…

The Democratic vice presidential candidate and six-term U.S. senator came armed with his own ammunition – a better command of the facts and a heartfelt passion, appearing to tear up as he talked about personal challenges and connections with what he called “people sitting around the kitchen table.”

Palin regularly sought to downplay expectations for herself – claiming the mantle as a fresh-faced maverick – a word she used many times in referring to herself and her running mate, Arizona Sen. John McCain – and an experienced energy executive from outside the Beltway.

With a wide smile, an occasional wink and repeated references to her connections to Main Street and “Joe Six Pack” Americans, she espoused the campaign mantra that “change is coming” while aiming to portray Biden and his running mate, Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, as old-guard Washington insiders.

…snip…

Biden all but ignored Palin – keeping McCain in the bulls-eye of his attacks. He repeatedly portrayed McCain as a continuation of President Bush’s views on foreign policy, taxes and health care. He said that while Republicans have focused on giving corporations tax breaks, Obama would focus on helping the middle class.

On Israel, Pakistan, Iraq, Iran and other major foreign policy issues, “I haven’t heard how (McCain’s) policy will be different than George Bush’s,” said Biden, chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. “We will make significant change, so once again, we’re the most respected nation in the world.”

Palin countered with a smile, “Say it ain’t so, Joe. There you go again, pointing backwards again. You prefaced your whole comment with the Bush administration,” She argued that Americans now need to “look forward.”

Biden delivered his own zinger when he argued that “20 million of you are going to be dropped” by insurance companies under McCain’s health care proposal, calling the Republican’s health insurance tax credits, “the ultimate bridge to nowhere.”

Palin and McCain face even more daunting problems together: Polls in key battleground states suggest a dramatic slide for the Republican ticket, and additional new polls suggest Palin may increasingly be a drag on the ticket.

Two post-debate polls showed Biden to be the winner of the matchup. A CNN poll gave him a substantial 51-38 percent edge, and a CBS poll of undecided viewers named him the winner 46-21.

…snip…

In her key moment on the national stage, Palin at times simply ignored the questions from moderator PBS’ Gwen Ifill – or answered another question entirely, saying at one point to Ifill and Biden directly, “I may not answer the questions the way the moderator and you want to hear.”

Looking often at Biden, she smiled and pointed and she even used self-deprecating humor to underscore her unfamiliarity with the stage of a national presidential debate. “It’s so obvious that I’m a Washington outsider and not used to the ways you guys operate,” she said at one point.

…snip…

[…] Biden passionately challenged Palin’s repeated references to McCain’s “maverick” status – arguing the Republican presidential candidate’s record showed him to be out of touch and unable to provide policies that will help average Americans in their daily lives.

“I love him, but he has not been a maverick” in providing health care, said Biden. “He’s not been a maverick when it comes to education,” he said. “He’s not been a maverick in the war. He’s not been a maverick on anything that affects people” of America’s economically strapped middle class.

Though Palin held her own, Biden’s performance also exceeded expectations of many critics who have said he is too unfocused, verbose and prone to gaffes. The senator stayed on point, never lost his cool – and remained cordial and smiling throughout, even as he argued his case.

He aggressively countered Palin’s allegations, insisting she distorted Obama’s record on Iraq. “Let’s get straight who’s been right and wrong,” he said.

Palin’s accusation – repeatedly refuted by independent fact-check organizations – that Obama has voted more than 90 times to raise taxes was also met with a Biden counterpunch.

“Barack Obama did not vote to raise taxes. The vote she’s referring to, John McCain voted the exact same way. It was a budget procedural vote,” he said. “Number two, using the standard that the governor uses, John McCain voted 477 times to raise taxes.”

Fareed Zakaria, CNN:

The problem was not her answers; the problem was that she didn’t understand the questions.

Bill Schneider, CNN:

Palin’s answers do not lack confidence, they lack coherence.

Joe Klein, Time:

Indeed, Sarah Palin’s high-energy performance in the vice-presidential debate was the most glaring demonstration β€” since George W. Bush’s performances in 2000 β€” of how little you can get away with knowing and still survive one of these things […]

Ooh! That’s gonna leave a mark!

42 Comments

Filed under 2008 election, Barack Obama, Chimpy, Democrats, George W. Bush, humor, Iran, Iraq War, Joe Biden, Joe Klein, John McCain, Pakistan, parody, politics, Republicans, Sarah Palin, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

42 responses to “Speak Shrilly, and Carry a Big Shtick

  1. How weird. Just this morning I was riding the elevator up to my office and some woman asked what I thought of the debate. I said Palin was like a Chatty Cathy doll- just pull the string for 12 different phrases!
    More proof that we belong together?
    You think?

  2. πŸ˜† last night, after i got done with the photoshopping, i came here to find that geez53 left a comment about princess being like a chatty cathy doll his babysitter had. it seems that comparison occurred to a lot of people. that said, i still plan on moving in! πŸ˜‰

  3. nightowl724

    HAHAHAHAHA! Too funny!

    Garsh darn it, tho – you misspelled “again” in your opening paragraph. It should have been “agin,” dontcha know? πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ Excuse me, I musta got sumpin in my eye…

    nonnie9999 ’08!

  4. nightowl,
    goshdarnit! my doggone princess sarah spellchecker didn’t work. i guess it’s out of work just like a lot of americans, because there aren’t enough tax cuts. and speaking of energy….

  5. πŸ™‚ do they have an eyelash batting emoticon?
    I need one bad!!

  6. nightowl724

    Let’s dream up a few more phrases for Chatty Sarah.

    I can see Russia from my house.

    I’m a pit bull with lipstick.

    Can I call you Joe?

    Thanks, but no thanks.

    Would you like fries with that mooseburger?

    I’m a brainless bimbo, dontcha know?

  7. geez53

    Holy Joe nonnie, there ya go again. Lookin’ backward, those were old jobs for old type peeeple, ya know. The Palin/McCain administration will create all kinds o’ new jobs for new type peeeple.

    You’re missing a good, old fashion cat fight between Nancy Fotenour (sp) of the McShame camp and Rachel on her show.

  8. nightowl724

    Joe six pack.

  9. geez,
    goshdangit! i keep fergittin to look ahead, not backward!
    i watch the reruns of the msnbc shows, so i will see ms nancy fartsomemore later. i despise that bloviating moron!

  10. geez53

    BTW, good job on the Chatty Sarah, exactly what i was thinking.
    But, secretly, in the back of my dirty old brain i was hoping to see a Dominatrix Sarah lording over the Senate chamber with a whip and auto-loading shotgun. Maybe a Carry Moss (sp) cut and paste from a ‘Matrix’ scene.

    I’m glad that at least some of the media have taken the VP power grab apart.

    Oh yeah, it was my baby sister’s Chatty Cathy. Back in my day, we didn’t have babysitters, they just rolled the rock back in front of the cave opening, ya know, so they could go hunt dinosaurs. You betcha. ;}

  11. karen,
    here’s an eyelash batting emoticon. i wish i could add emoticons here. i don’t know why the ones that work work or if more can be added.

  12. nightowl,
    joe 6-pack made it to the box. it’s at the top. you don’t have to wrack your brain thinking up different lines for princess. just google for an old script from the beverly hillbillies.

  13. geez,
    doh! i misread what you had written. i wondered why your parents would hire a babysitter who was young or immature enough to still play with chatty cathy dolls. 😳 color me embarrassed!
    you might want to check out dood abides’s diary over at the big orange. things are way different from a man’s perspective. i like to keep things pure and innocent over here! πŸ˜‰

  14. geez53

    Scrubbing my keyboard with pure Ivory soap as we type. nuff said. ;}

  15. nightowl724

    Oh, yea… But, that’s OK. My Chatty Cathy doll used to hiccup once in a while and get stuck on the same phrase over and over again. Then, I’d smack her upside the head a few times and she’d be OK again. Does that give anyone any ideas?

  16. jeb

    If we get four years of the geezer and the bimbo after eight years of the Chimpinator and Darth Vader, Joe Six-Pack is going to move on to become Joe Six-Fifths.

  17. jeb

    Oops, mispelled “going to.” Obviously I meant to say gonna.

  18. nightowl,
    tell us again about how you smacked your chatty sarah…i mean cathy doll in the head. i like the picture i get in my mind.

  19. jeb,
    what all is gonna happen to them thar english classes in then thar schools if princess and capt u are elected, dognabbit!?

  20. jeb

    You mean as opposed to the Mangler-in-Chief that has been blathering malapropisms for the last eight years?

    I guess we’ll just have to revisit is insightful question and ask one again “Is our children learning?”

  21. jlms qkw - jenn

    zomg, the comments are as hilarious as the chatty sarah doll! nonnie, you need “energy policy” on the box.

    i nearly puked two times: “say it ain’t so joe” and whatever it was she said after he talked about his wife and daughter dying and staying by his sons’ hospital beds. ’cause whatever it was, it was totally inane and inappropriate.

    bill moyers had some gal from npr who likes mccain on and i had to mute.

  22. Got a Grip

    Let the hillbilly within me flow:

    “We cain’t look bekerds, we has teh look ferwerds.”

    “There yeh go agin, lookin’ bekerds instead o’ ferwerds.”

    “It’s tuff bein’ a hahkey maum, doncha know.”

    Please, just let me take her out back where I can express myself freely in my native tongue….

  23. Got a Grip

    And that whole “Maverick” thing. :sigh:

    I do not think it means what they think it means…..

  24. littlefluffytoes

    OMG I just found your site and I LOVE YOU!!!! I ran across your McSame Vanity Fair spreads and almost peed on myself. I don’t think I have EVER laughed so hard in my life! I could barely breath. Talk about an endorphine rush:o) Hope I can sleep tonight. You’re brilliant!

  25. jeb,
    between chimpy, palin, and talk like a pirate day, i am shocked 😯 that anyone can still form a proper sentence once in a while. dammit, i’m starting to say nucular.

  26. jenn,
    there was not enough room on the box for all the palindrones.
    when nothing even registered on her smug face after biden choked up, i thought to myself that she is a sociopath who has no empathy for anyone else. when her kids came onstage, it was as though they were props for all the affection and warmth she showed them.

  27. gotta,
    i’ll hold her down iff’n you wanner give her a good ass-whoopin! afterwards, we can call toddy girlie names until he cries!! πŸ˜₯

  28. hello littlefluffytoes!
    welcome to the raisin! πŸ˜€ you are very kind. i hope you will make yourself at home and look around. i am very glad that you could find something to laugh at here. hope you come back again soon!

  29. nightowl724

    Well, ya see, nons, I use-ter stan’ her pritty much straight up with-in teh one han’. Den Ida give-her three quick, hard jabs with-in teh udder one. Ifn that thar din work, Ida be shakin’ her real hard for a few secs. Ifn that thar din work, Ida set her down real hard on her gotcha a few times, so I did. Ursually, one of dem tactics – I mean stratergies – I mean-a tactics – {long pause, moose in headlights stare}

    {shrug, shrug, chuckle, chuckle, wink, wink, push back glasses, blink, blink, big-ass smile} It be so ob-ve-yus I ain’t a-one-a dem, ya know, Warshintun elites, mind ya I sez. It be all about JOBS. Ima all over JOBS. An’ energy. An’ fightin’ cor-UP-shun. That be my ex-per-teece, ya know, part of my vice-prezdintial mavericky pert-FO-leo, dontcha know. Dat’n fer-in policy.

    Havin’ yawl met my brood, God love ’em? Ida like-ta give a shout-out ta dem terd-graters whose-a gonna be a-gettin’ extry credit tommorer AN’ teh day off ta go-a moosehuntin’ fer lisnen’ to all-a dis I bin sayin’!

    Isn my Frenchy braid on straight? Oh! ‘Nuther ezample of my fer-in ez-peer-ee-ents, so it iz! {chuckle, chuckle, wink, wink, push back glasses, blink, blink, big-ass smile} An’ I din even reelize it!

    Well, I gotta git goin’ cuz’n my kidz iz on fire…

  30. sounds purty durn-tootin good to me!

  31. jeb

    mavΒ·erΒ·ick (mvr-k, mvrk)
    n.
    1. An unbranded range animal, especially a calf that has become separated from its mother, traditionally considered the property of the first person who brands it.
    2. One that refuses to abide by the dictates of or resists adherence to a group; a dissenter.

    Oooh, I like the first definition. Should we ask them to drop trou so that we can see whose brand they’re wearing (as if we didn’t know).

  32. jeb,
    i bet all those lobbyist brands have made quite a mess of the mavericks. i imagine a lot of burnt, festering flesh. the second definition sure comes in handy when it comes to not answering questions in a debate in which you agreed to answer questions.

  33. Got a Grip

    nightowl, I cuddn’a done a better job a’ talkin’ hillbilly X North Dakota’n you done raht thar. It were darn near purfeck. Ah’m afeelin’ kinda homesick aboot now. Whar’s Boo Hoo Boehner? Ah’m aneedin’ a tissue….

  34. Omg what a cute little emoticon that was.
    Thank you!
    πŸ™‚

  35. nightowl724

    Garsh, gotta… thankee! Iz be from dos thar hills of Wessern Penn-sul-VANE-ya nowadaze, so’z I know aboot which Ida be-a talkin’, God love ’em, you betcha! {chuckle, chuckle, wink, wink, push back glasses, blink, blink, big-ass smile} It doen cumz natural, tho, ‘cuz Iza bornt ina big-city suburb…

  36. I was disgusted that the debate was considered a tie. She refused to answer any questions that were being asked of her. She looked as if she’d fall over every time she couldn’t find the right dummy card.

  37. katie,
    the only reason it was considered a tie was because the msm need to keep making believe that she is a viable candidate. they need something to keep the race exciting, and captain underpants is not exactly an excitement-generating machine. the news channels don’t want to inform the citizenry about what the differences between the candidate are. that’s just not sexy enough. so, they had to invent something to keep the ratings up. instead of pointing out that princess is nothing but a tape recorder in a skirt, they make believe that she is worth reporting on.

  38. How in holy hell did I miss this post? Good lord!

    The debate was a sham, a mockery and Ms. Mooseburger didn’t come close to doing well. Not that you’d know that from the media. It wasn’t even a debate. It was “noo thank you, Gwen, to those questions but I’m gonna just do muh stump speech intead, you betcha! *wink* ”

    It was a fuΒ’king joke, and Ifill should have called her on NOT answering the damn questions.

    I love your graphics, they kill me… esp. the one w/Mooselini getting popped in the kisser.

  39. helen,
    that wasn’t a debate. that was joe biden answering questions and setting the record straight while princess threw memorized $hit against the wall to see if any of it would stick.
    i saw that pic of palin with her face scrunched up, and i was dying to use it. i already wrote a song about punching her in the face, so i thought it was only fitting that i virtually punch her in the face! πŸ™‚

  40. You kill me… I’d love to punch that asshole in her fat, lying maw as well! And your virtual punch is very satisfying, indeed, if we can’t have the real thing.

    Yes, Mooselini was given permission to get on her soap box and show the American People how much she can learn by rote in just one week, golly gee whillikers!

    I think she’s bat$hit insane. She’s actually going off message and talking about $hit now that McInsane had said was off-limits. I’m sure at this point she hopes McInsane drops dead anyway.

    That’s one dangerous ‘n’ scary woman.

  41. helen,
    i’m sure princess had permission from the campaign to bring up all this crap. it’s another example of the capt u side not thinking through things long term. there is so much dirt to be dug up on capt u. payback is a bitch! and so is princess sarah.

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