The McCain campaign has broken through a heretofore impenetrable barrier in quantum physics, experimentally proving the existence of unseen dimensions and, in the process, setting three of its surrogates on a pathway towards winning the 2009 Nobel Prize in the physical sciences.
Gov. Sarah Palin, campaigning, she said, in “real America,” which apparently includes part of North Carolina, Rep. Michelle Bachmann, calling for a media investigation to determine whether Americans are real or not, and today, McCain all-around best surrogate Nancy Pfotenhauer (pronounced — Foe-Ten-How-er, like proton power), said that parts of the state of Virginia, heretofore universally assumed to be in America, were not, in fact, in the country.
Original DVD cover.
I can’t do justice to the article by cutting and pasting, so go over there to read the entire thing, especially you scientists (I’m lookin’ at you, Neon Vincent!). You can thank me later.
From the Los Angeles Times:
Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota was parrying questions Friday from Chris Matthews on his MSNBC “Hardball” show, which is not for the faint of heart. Still, she did not necessarily have to keep stepping deeper into the hole he kept digging for her.
Initially, they were discussing Obama, with Matthews quizzing her about the Republican-backed “robocalls” — viewed by many as over the top — that play the Bill Ayers/terrorist card against the Democrat.
Bachmann said of Obama: “I’m very concerned that he may have anti-American views.”
Then she said: “I think the people that Barack Obama has been associating with are anti-American, by and large.”
Matthews wondered if that included Democratic leaders such as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. “I’m not going to say if they’re anti-American or pro-American,” Bachmann said.
Pressed by Matthews about members of Congress in general and whether, in essence, their patriotism should be called into question, Bachmann called on the media to launch a “penetrating expose and take a look . . . at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-American or anti-American.”
She added: “I think people would love to see an expose like that.”
I now believe in reincarnation. Welcome back, Joe McCarthy. When do the hearings start?
MESILLA, New Mexico (CNN) – In his strongest attack on Sarah Palin to date, Joe Biden let loose on Sarah Palin’s comments about “pro-America” parts of the country. “We are all patriotic!” he shouted, adding that he’s tired of Republicans insinuating that Barack Obama isn’t patriotic.
At a fundraiser in Greensboro, North Carolina Thursday night, Palin told donors, “We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. We believe that the best of America is in the small towns that we get to visit, and in the wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, very pro-America areas of this great nation.”
The Delaware senator said no matter where people live, everyone loves America, pointing to the fact that he’s never been to a state that hasn’t sent its sons and daughters to serve the country.
Palin later walked back her comments with reporters on her campaign plane, saying “Every area, every area across this great country where we’re stopping and where also the other ticket is stopping and getting to speak at these rallies and speak with the good Americans, it’s all pro-America.”
Sic ‘er, Joe!
From ABC News:
It might be a good idea for the folks from the McCain campaign to take a day off, take a breath, and then return to work. Republicans unaffiliated with the campaign tell me the “bunker” mentality there is really starting to hurt them.
To wit: McCain senior adviser Nancy Pfotenhauer on MSNBC today.
“As a proud resident of Oakton, Virginia, I can tell you that the Democrats have just come in from the District of Columbia and moved into northern Virginia,” Pfotenhauer said, speaking of Democratic gains in that part of the state. “And that’s really what you see there.
“But the rest of the state, ‘real Virginia,’ if you will, I think will be very responsive to Senator McCain’s message,” she continued.
Pfotenhauer went on to make a totally valid point about Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., having to play defense in Pennsylvania, as areas in battleground states where Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., could do well.
But the “real Virginia” line — made in the wake of the nominee’s brother, Joe McCain, referring to Arlington and Alexandria as “Communist country” — is what’s most likely to make news, and help Team Obama drive up Democratic turnout in the battleground state.
“Hey Nancy,” said the MSNBC anchor, “I’m going to give you a chance to climb back off that ledge. Did you say ‘real Virginia’?”
“I did say outside of north – well, I mean real Virginia, because northern Virginia is where I’ve always been, but real Virginia I take to be the – this part of the state that is more southern in nature, if you will,” she said. “Northern Virginia is really metro D.C., as you’re aware, Kevin.”
An in-kind contribution to the Obama campaign’s Get-Out-the-Vote apparatus from McCain’s adviser Nancy Pfotenhauer. Nancy Pfotenhauer, ladies and gentleman.
The video is at the link.