I’ll have a couple of slices of satire, please. No anchovies.

From The Huffington Post (yesterday):

In an interview with Ann Curry on NBC’s Dateline, Evangelist Preacher, Rick Warren, who is set to deliver the invocation at Barack Obama’s inauguration, equated gays getting married to eating pizza everyday.

“Mr. Warren’s relating gays to pedophiles, incest and gay marriage to his incessant craving of sex with women he was not married to caught me a little off guard.,” said Ms Curry, “But after the camera stopped filming he went on to make the comparison of gays to pizza, I must say, I was startled.”

Original DVD cover.

But hold on kids, there’s more to the story…..

From The Huffington Post (today):

(December 22, 2008) As Los Angeles Metblogs reported, the normally very reliable Rawstory.com picked up this column’s “Rick Warren Likens Gays To Pizza” story as real. They’ve since removed the link but RS reader’s comments dealing with the gays-to-pizza controversy remain.

Now I’m not saying that the Pizza column wasn’t fact-based, nor am I saying that Warren doesn’t have a closeted obsession with pizza, but the fact remains that Rick Warren’s rationale for backing Prop 8 by comparing gay marriage to a pedophile’s desire to marry children or brothers marrying sisters is just as irrational as likening gays to pizza.

Here’s what was purportedly said (from Steve Young on Politics):

“Mr. Warren’s relating gays to pedophiles, incest and gay marriage to his incessant craving of sex with women he was not married to caught me a little off guard.,” said Ms Curry, “But after the camera stopped filming he went on to make the comparison of gays to pizza, I must say, I was startled.”

“Just because I like pizza it doesn’t mean I should marry it,” said Warren. “Biologically, I am predisposed to enjoy the immaculate melding of mozzarella cheese, red sauce and thick crust baked to tasty perfection.

But that doesn’t mean I should enter into a lifelong commitment with Sicilian or plain, nor bed it down, nor bring children into the world and have them have to explain to their classmates why their mom’s crust is not a crisp as it once was. Does any child deserve to have their friends tossing Monday 2 for 1 coupons in his face? Not in my world they don’t. Yet, to say that I am against pizza-eaters or gays is absurd. Our Saddleback Church offer more weight-watchers meetings to overeaters than any other evangelical megachurch on the west coast.”

Look at the fat bastard! A slice of pizza has never passed by him and survived. However, though Rick’s mind may not stray from pizza for very long, here’s what he really said (from MSNBC):

Ann Curry: Some people in the gay community wonder why you supported Prop 8. Why you supported taking away their right to love each other in marriage.

Rick Warren: Yeah, well, I’m not taking away their right to love each other.

…snip…

Ann Curry: Are you homophobic?

Rick Warren: Of course not. I’ve always treated them with respect when they come and wanna talk to me. I talk to them. When the protesters came, we served them water and doughnuts.

…snip…

Ann Curry: If science finds that this is biological, indisputably, not something that can be explained in any other way except that people are born to be gay, would you change your position?

Rick Warren: No. And the reason why–

Ann Curry: Why?

Rick Warren: I’d be happy to tell you why. The reason why is because it doesn’t matter to me. If it’s biological, we’ll be glad to know. We all have biological predispositions. Some people struggle with anger. And other people say, “I don’t struggle with anger, but I sure struggle with fear.” Some people say, “Oh, I don’t struggle with this. I struggle with being shy.”

Ann Curry: You’re saying if it’s part of your biology, it’s your job to struggle against it if, in fact, it’s the wrong–

Rick Warren: Well, here what I’m saying. I’ve had many gay friends tell me, “Well, Rick, why shouldn’t I have multiple sexual partners? It’s the natural thing to do.” Well, just because it seems natural doesn’t mean it’s best for you or society. I’m naturally inclined to have sex with every beautiful woman I see. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. And why should I reign in my natural impulses and you say, “Well, because I have natural impulses towards the same sex, I shouldn’t have to reign them in.” Well, I disagree. I think that’s part of maturity. I think it’s part of delayed gratification. I think it’s part of character.

Tonight, though, kids, there is something more important than stinky old Rick Warren and his bigotry.