Kids, while we were all celebrating 2009, I’m afraid that we weren’t paying attention to what 2010 is going to bring. From The Wall Street Journal:
MOSCOW — For a decade, Russian academic Igor Panarin has been predicting the U.S. will fall apart in 2010.
Prof. Panarin, 50 years old, is not a fringe figure. A former KGB analyst, he is dean of the Russian Foreign Ministry’s academy for future diplomats.
A polite and cheerful man with a buzz cut, Mr. Panarin insists he does not dislike Americans. But he warns that the outlook for them is dire.
Uh-oh! Here’s Panarin’s new map (found at the above link):
That got me thinking about how politicians will react to the new landscape. It seems some of them have already gotten word of the changes, and I have photos of how they are adapting.
[Panarin] based the forecast on classified data supplied to him by FAPSI analysts, he says. He predicts that economic, financial and demographic trends will provoke a political and social crisis in the U.S. When the going gets tough, he says, wealthier states will withhold funds from the federal government and effectively secede from the union. Social unrest up to and including a civil war will follow. The U.S. will then split along ethnic lines, and foreign powers will move in.
FAPSI is the Federal Agency of Government Communications and Information, the Russian equivalent of the U.S. National Security Agency and a successor to the KGB. In 2003, FAPSI was reorganized and became the Service of Special Communications and Information (FSB).
California will form the nucleus of what he calls “The Californian Republic,” and will be part of China or under Chinese influence. Texas will be the heart of “The Texas Republic,” a cluster of states that will go to Mexico or fall under Mexican influence. Washington, D.C., and New York will be part of an “Atlantic America” that may join the European Union. Canada will grab a group of Northern states Prof. Panarin calls “The Central North American Republic.” Hawaii, he suggests, will be a protectorate of Japan or China, and Alaska will be subsumed into Russia.
Kids, you know how politicians are. No matter what happens, they want to make sure that they have some clout, so they are very willing to adapt to the new reality. Let’s start with The Texas Republic, which will become part of Mexico. Here are John Cornyn and Kay Bailey Hutchinson never forgetting the Alamo:
Another state in The Texas Republic will be Alabama. Oh, Susanna, forget about banjos on anyone’s knee, and think about the illustrious Senator Jeff Sessions instead. He’s got the right attitude!
Another state in The Texas Republic is Louisiana, the home of Senator David Vitter. As you can see, you can be totally dedicated to your new country and still partake in your favorite hobbies.
I have to admit, kids, here in The Texas Republic of Floriduhhhh, it’s not just the politicians who are getting in the new swing of things.
Now, let’s focus out attention on the Great White North. Yeah, I’m lookin’ at you, Alaska! Talk about Putin rearin’ his big fat head! Wasilla will be Pootie-poot’s new backyard! Maybe Bristol and Levi should have named the new baby Kremlin or Gulag or Borscht instead of Tripp. Anyway, here are Governor Princess Sarah and the esteemed Senator Lisa Murkowski looking less than pleased with the changes.
Maybe Pootie-Poot will buy Princess Sarah some new clothes, and she’ll cheer up. You bet’cha!
Well, that’s the first installment, kids. Tomorrow, we will continue to explore how the pols are adjusting to the new reality.