The *Untied* States of America, Part 3

Hey comrades amigos hosers kids! We continue on with our exploration of Igor Panarin‘s vision of the U.S., circa 2010. Previously, we have covered The Texas Republic (TTR) and the new Russian Alaska, as well as the Central North America Republic (CNAR). Today, we will explore Atlantic America, which may join the European Union.


I had better warn you, comrades amigos hosers kids mes amis, that we had better brace ourselves for the I told you sos from TTR and parts of CNAR.


Things will be a lot different in Atlantic America (AA), meine Freunde. Even though there will still be those who refuse to listen to reason when it comes to global warming (such as Senators Jim Bunning, Lamar Alexander, Bob Corker, and Mitch McConnell, those lederhosen-clad crazy kids from the former states of Kentucky and Tennessee)….


….others will accept the reality and try to make the adjustment (such as gondolier and senator of the former New Hampshire, Judd Gregg, and senators of the former South Carolina and Maine, Jim DeMint and Susan Collins. Even Senator Richard Burr from the former North Carolina is doing his best to get on board!), i miei amici….


Of course, not everything will be so serious, mis amigos. As you can see, Senator Lindseypoo from the former South Carolina and Senator Joe McLiebercain of the former Connecticut seem to be having lots of fun…


In fact, there is so much fun to be had, that even retirees, such as Senator Larry Craig from the former state of Idaho (which will be part of The Californian Republic, which we will cover tomorrow) are staying in AA, rather than returning to their old homes. Here’s Larry enjoying his new wooden shoes, mijn vrienden….



Filed under Connecticut, humor, Idaho, Joe Lieberman, Judd Gregg, Larry Craig, Lindsey Graham, Maine, Mitch McConnell, New Hampshire, parody, politics, Republicans, Russia, Scandals, snark, South Carolina, Susan Collins, Texas, Wordpress Political Blogs

12 responses to “The *Untied* States of America, Part 3

  1. Sorry, Kerry still doesn’t look French. I don’t care what the wingers say.

  2. neon vincent,
    most of them couldn’t find france on a map. in fact, i doubt that they could find france on a map of france!

  3. nightowl724

    Well, kiddo, you’ve done it again.

    I LOLed long and loud enough that my son felt compelled to ask again, “nonnie?”

    Kerry in the beret and Craig in the clogs…


  4. 😆 you just made my night, nightowl! however, i don’t even want to imagine what your son might think i am like in real life! 😉

  5. nightowl724

    You mean this isn’t your real life?????

    Not to worry. He thinks you are cool and funny. And, bat $hit crazy like me, of course. But, if mom’s happy, Tom’s happy…

  6. The clogs in the bathroom? Classic.

  7. karen,
    i have a confession. i don’t know what i was thinking when i had larry craig in atlantic america. i made a list of states in AA and in the californian republic (which will debut tonight) with people i might want to include. larry craig was on the CR list. i made the image of larry’s wooden shoes, and only then i realized i stupidly had him on the wrong side of the continent. however, the image was a pain in the ass to make, so i decided that larry retired in dc instead of going home to idaho, so i could still use it. 😳

  8. LC spent more time in airport restrooms than in his home state anyway; fagittaboutit.
    But Lindsey as a bull fighter?? That little weenie has never fought “bull” in his life; he has exemplified it. And I miss his soft bulbous underbelly, which he could never cram into a toreador’s trousers. (I’d warp his girlish hips into a genteel pot gut in a hartbeat.)

    I’m still hoping when this all goes down we don’t recycle so many of the same turds… jist flush’em.

  9. saitia,
    thanks for supplying more cover for my larry craig error. 😉
    lindseypoo, of course, would never fight a real bull, yet he doesn’t mind being completely immersed in bull$hit. go figure! (by the way, he has a girdle on underneath those toreador pants.) it’s a shame that capt underpants’s arizona is going to the californian republic. otherwise, i am sure the old guy would be in the stands, waving his lacy hanky, and cheering on the other two-thirds of his little ménage à trois.

  10. I’m sure Larry Craig has taken a wide stance in tea rooms in enough airports around America to qualify for this or any region you choose.
    As for Lil’ Lindsey as a toreador, I’m sure he has many costumes he wears when he dances for his daddy bear McCain.

  11. karen,
    don’t forget that larry has probably traveled overseas, too, on the taxpayers’ dime. who know what the man has done for foreign “relations”! with lindseypoo, i was channeling his fantasies more than reality. i think lindseypoo would love to prance around in toreador pants.

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