Doesn’t this guy have TIVO?

From NPR:

Congressman Cliff Stearns, a Republican from Florida, asked House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to reconsider any votes scheduled for Thursday. The reason: Stearns is hoping to go to college football’s championship game. Number-two Florida plays number-one Oklahoma in Miami. Pelosi’s office says there won’t be a change in the schedule. Among the issues to be considered: certification of the Electoral College vote that gives Barack Obama the presidency.

Original DVD cover.

From Yahoo News:

Stearns wrote, “As you may be aware, on Thursday January 8, the University of Florida and the University of Oklahoma will play for the national football championship. Members of the Florida and Oklahoma delegations have expressed interest in attending the game as the congressional schedule allows. However, votes are currently scheduled to continue into Thursday night and Friday afternoon. We ask that you move these votes to either Wednesday and/or Thursday morning to allow Members to attend this historic game.”

Oddly – or maybe not – none of the other members Stearns referred to as “we” signed the letter, which was obtained by The Associated Press.

To help his cause, Stearns added a handwritten message to Pelosi.

“Madam Speaker – Kindly consider. Thanks, Cliff,” he wrote.

Poor Cliffie! Another dream shattered….

But let’s cut ol’ Cliffie some slack. After all, he has done some really stellar work in the House, where he’s been since 1989. Just check out this press release from 2007:

WASHINGTON, JULY 6, 2007 – Today Rep. Cliff Stearns (R-FL) called on the House Energy & Commerce Committee to investigate allegations of rampant steroid use in professional wrestling. Said Stearns, “Between 1985 and 2006, 89 wrestlers have died before the age of 50. Of course, not all of these deaths can be attributed to steroid use. However, this abnormally high number of deaths of young, fit athletes should raise congressional alarms.

Raise the congressional alarms, Nancy Pelosi! But wait until after the big game.


Filed under Barack Obama, Florida, House Energy and Commerce Committee, humor, movies, Nancy Pelosi, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

21 responses to “Doesn’t this guy have TIVO?

  1. writechicpress

    Nonnie, I may be scarred for life with Cliffie the Cheerleader seared in my brain. 😉 I think it’s the sparse treasure trail of body hair that disappears into the the congressman’s skirt….and the excess elbow skin…and the pits. My brain needs a bath.

  2. just for the record, wcp, i had absolutely nothing to do with the excess elbow skin.

  3. Even I don’t like football that much.

  4. oh, c’mon, neon vincent. find your inner pompoms! 😉

  5. nightowl724

    My, how inconsiderate of the Gators to schedule such an “historic” game while Congress is in session!

    Perhaps Stearns should ask that a committee be drawn up to investigate this misuse of power. At the very least, he should write a “Stearn” letter to the College Football League!

    I don’t know this Stearns from shineola, and I don’t want to, thanks to your very clever work, nonnie!

  6. nightowl,
    don’t you feel just terrible for poor little cliffie? after all, he will have been back at work for 3 whole days!! 😯 of course, he needs a day off to relax and take in a game. geez, it’s not like he’s in some cushy job like the soldiers over in iraq and afghanistan!

    i am hoping and praying (not something i do often) that he accepts an invitation to go on the colbert report‘s better know a district.

  7. nightowl724

    Oh my, yes, I do “feel for him.” But, it’s not sympathy, that’s for sure! 😉

  8. jeb

    He just following Boners (I mean Boehner’s) lead who did this last year when Ohio State was in the BCS Bowl.

    Bet those Oklahoma Congressfolk wished they’d passed on that game now!

  9. I know it’s stating the obvious, but Florida keeps electing dimwits like this who are too stupid to keep from exhibiting their fu¢ked up priorities.
    For him to have the gall to ask the Speaker of the House to rearrange things so he can watch a college football game is beyond galling.
    It’s a challenge, but I think Floridian politicians are doing their damndest to outdo Texas, Illinois and even Louisiana in terms of hubris and incompetence.
    And as Oklahomaphobic as I am, I hope they beat the Gators just out of general principle.

  10. Pompoms? Nonnie, right idea, wrong kind of gridiron props. I marched in my high school band from 1975-1977. I taught the UCLA Band’s flag line from 1978-1981, as well as teaching two different high school flag lines. I was also in the UCLA Band that whole time. I also marched in two different drum and bugle corps. Then I joined the UCLA Alumni Band in 1983 and stayed in until 1989 (1991 if one counts my hosting the Alumni Band for when they played Michigan in Ann Arbor). After that, having season tickets for Michigan Football until 1998 (I lost them to ex in the divorce) was a relief. I just had to watch. No longer did I have to actually work before and during games; nearly 20 years of that was enough.

  11. jeb,
    did boohoo boehner’s team win? if not, did boohoo cry on the house floor?

  12. karen,
    the difference between south floriduhhhh and other parts of the state are stark. south floriduhhhh should secede from the state, and much of the rest should just be annexed by georgia and alabama.

  13. neon vincent,
    when i was in college, i dated a guy who was in a drum and bugle corps. he took me to one of their practices once, and i was amazed that there is a whole culture built around it.

  14. THAT is hilarious, what an asshole/douchebag! I can’t even believe the unmitigated gall with this request. Who does Cliff Stearns think he is?


  15. hi helen! 😀
    what gets me is that the moron put it in writing, so he couldn’t deny it later on! that means that he didn’t even realize how stupid and selfish his request was.

  16. jeb

    Nonnie, Boner’s beloved Ohio lost (ha ha). Don’t know if he cried or not. Cliffies Gators won.

  17. i bet he sobbed like a little girl! 😆

  18. Nonnie, you got that exactly right. There is an entire subculture built around drum and bugle corps that persists to this day, one that calls it “The Activity.” I was a big wheel in online discussions of corps from 1992-2003 at which point I got disgusted with the other fans and alumni and walked away for nearly two years. I was still a marching band judge, which lasted from 2001-2006, when I got fed with with that (and the feeling was mutual) and quit. I still write for Drum Corps World, something I’ve been doing since 1996, but I really think “The Activity” as it’s currently structured, is a dead man walking. It will likely go extinct by 2020 if it doesn’t evolve to deal with modern economic realities.

  19. BTW, which corps did your old beau march in?

  20. Nonnie, remember the Nine Nations map I linked to as part of the Panarin Untied States series? In it, South Florida is part of a Nation called The Islands, which consists of Florida plus all the nation-states that border the Caribbean. I believe it. When I was in Miami in 1983, I could tell I was not in Dixie!

  21. neon vincent,
    i suppose drum and bugle corps is the same as the baby beauty pageants scene (except some talent is required) and other activities that attract more than a handful of people. it’s just a bit surprising to outsiders to see it when you didn’t know it existed. i don’t remember what corps the ex belonged to. it was so long ago. all i can tell you is that it was in new york. i don’t even remember where we went, but it wasn’t the city. maybe somewhere in westchester country, but that’s just a guess. i think he was from somewhere on long island, but i don’t even remember that for sure. i think it would be a shame if ‘the activity’ goes away entirely. once you realize just how much precision is necessary, it’s rather fascinating to watch and listen to.

    i do remember the 9 nation map, and it was a lot more reasonable than panarin’s. i don’t know if south floriduhhhh would be a good fit with the islands. while the climate is a good match, i don’t think the rest of it is. there are a lot of jamaicans, haitians, and cubans, but the population is changing, and there are lots and lots of south americans here now. plus, you have the new yawk and new joisey contingent who are more a part of the northeast than the islands. one thing for sure–as you said, miami is definitely not dixie.

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