One Week to the End of an Error

WASHINGTON (AFP) โ€” George W. Bush passionately denied his turbulent presidency had damaged America’s moral standing in the world, in a defiant defense of his record in a farewell White House news conference.

The unpopular Republican president next week bequeaths Democrat Barack Obama a nation locked in two foreign wars, traumatized by the worst economic slump since the 1930s and with the budget deficit heading towards a trillion dollars.

Original DVD cover.

But Bush, in a valedictory appearance in the White House briefing room, was largely unrepentant, arguing he had acted to keep America safe and to spread freedom rather than worry about his rock-bottom approval ratings.

He lashed out at “elites” from Europe and elsewhere, who frowned on his policies and warned “axis of evil” foes Iran and North Korea were still dangerous.

He also warned Obama would face the grave threat of a terror attack on the US homeland and summed up his eight years in power as a “good, strong record.”

Bush was most impassioned when confronted with claims he had tarnished America’s global reputation.

“I strongly disagree with the assessment that our moral standing has been damaged,” Bush said.


Bush argued that he could have been popular in Europe for blaming Israel for all the problems in the Middle East, or by signing the Kyoto climate change accord, or by joining the International Criminal Court.

“I wouldn’t worry about popularity. What I would worry about is the constitution of the United States and putting plans in place that make it easier to find out what the enemy is thinking.”

๐Ÿ˜ฏ All of a sudden Chimpy is worried about the Constitution? He knows that we have a Constitution?

Bush, who opponents argue insulated himself from a broad spectrum of advice, was also dismissive of critics who have savaged his presidency.

“I don’t see how I can go back home in Texas and look in the mirror and be proud of what I see if I allowed the loud voices, the loud critics, to prevent me from doing what I thought was necessary to protect the country.”

Nixon talked to paintings, and Chimpy hears voices. Maybe we should get Chimpy a portrait of Nixon instead of a mirror. They can tell each other that they aren’t crooks.

The president also signaled a fight for his legacy.

“Thank you for giving me a chance to defend a record that I am going to continue to defend because I think it is a good, strong record.”

Bush warned Obama will shoulder a heavy responsibility for US security.

“The most urgent threat that he’ll have to deal with and other presidents after him will have to deal with is an attack on our homeland.”

Is it just me, or does everyone else hate the term homeland? It sounds like it came right out of the Nazi handbook.

Bush said history should remember his unpopular Iraq war policy for the surge of troops he ordered when violence multiplied.

Yeah, Chimpy, that’s what we’ll remember, not that you started this clusterfuยขk for no reason in the first place. That’s like congratulating someone for eating until they were morbidly obese so that they could lose lots of weight later on.

He also noted historians will examine the fact that the US economy slumped into recession at the end of his two terms and later asked Congress for a second 350 billion dollar tranche of a finance industry bailout package at Obama’s request.

Actually, he said, “I inherited a recession, I’m ending on a recession. In the meantime, there were 52 months of uninterrupted job growth.”

Bush also said he was looking forward to a “front row seat” during the inauguration at the moment in front of the US Capitol on January 20 that Obama becomes the first black US president.

Chimpy is just happy that the Obamas are moving into the White House and not his new lily-white neighborhood.

Bush admitted to a series of mistakes in his presidency, including the decision to give a speech under a “Mission Accomplished” banner on a US aircraft carrier after the Iraq war.

He defended his decision not to land Air Force One in Louisiana after Hurricane Katrina in 2005, a monster storm which saw his administration accused of deserting thousands of people in inundated New Orleans.

“Could things have been done better? Absolutely. Absolutely.”

And with one week left in office, the famously fit president offered a glimpse of a vigorous retirement.

“I just can’t envision myself, you know, with the big straw hat and a Hawaiian shirt sitting on some beach.”

“Particularly since I quit drinking.”

He quit drinking and drove an entire country to start.


Filed under 2008 election, Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Chimpy, Condoleezza Rice, Constitution, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, Iran, Iraq War, Katrina, Michael Chertoff, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Richard Nixon, snark, Texas, Wordpress Political Blogs

36 responses to “One Week to the End of an Error

  1. I want to see these movies!!!

  2. otto mann,
    you mean you haven’t yet signed up with nonnieflix? for $2,995.00 a month, i send you a movie, and you can watch it as many times as you want. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. For that price, you’d have to come with the film. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. maybe we’ll have our version of the sundance film festival. it will have to be in fresno, i guess, since that’s the raisin capital of the world. maybe we can call it the sundried film festival! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Fresno? LOLOLOL!

    Sorry, I lived in Los Angeles and then Bakersfield and after that Metro Detroit. Bakersfield is Nashville West and most Angelinos don’t know enough about it to even bother making fun of it. However, Fresno is the town Bakersfield looks down on. As for my opinion of the place, I’ll take Detroit over Bakersfield.

    BTW, we could go to the real Sundance. My mom and sister live in Park City UT.

  6. oooh! are we all staying at their house? how far is park city from slc? i think jenn lives in slc, so maybe she can take the overflow.

  7. nightowl724

    I have so much to say!

    First, I love the poster. Perfect movie to spoof, perfectly done. Wouldn’t you like to wipe that look off Chimpy’s face? Actually, you could do that in Photoshop…

    To answer your question: He knows that we have a Constitution? Of course he does! He knows it’s just a g-d d-mned piece of paper!

    Nixon talked to paintings, and Chimpy hears voices. Maybe we should get Chimpy a portrait of Nixon instead of a mirror. They can tell each other that they arenโ€™t crooks.


    The word homeland makes me want to puke! Please, someone, make it go away…

    โ€œI inherited a recession, Iโ€™m ending on a recession. In the meantime, there were 52 months of uninterrupted job growth.โ€

    Perhaps someone should tell him that he actually inherited a budget surplus. I read or saw today that the job growth under Bush was 2M, under Clinton 31M, but who’s counting?

    About Katrina… Did anyone see where he said that, if he had landed, he would have “drawn resources away from the rescue operations?” Or, that he thought the government gave a “pretty quick response” to the disaster?

    Bush makes me sick – literally. I developed high blood pressure during his administration. Maybe after Obama’s in office, I will be able to go off my meds…

  8. nightowl,
    i only saw clips of the presser. i honestly cannot stand to listen to him or look at him for more than a minute at a time. i spent the last 8 years turning off the sound and facing away from the tv whenever he was on. he makes me physically ill.

    i understand how people can lie to themselves at times, but if he believes even a tenth of the bull$hit he spewed at this presser, he has to be downright delusional! there was so much he said that was so unbelievably outrageous that i couldn’t possibly include it all in one post. the recession remark left me dumbfounded. i could not believe that they are actually going to try to push that lie. how much you wanna bet the other rethugs will say the same thing? as for katrina, i can’t even begin to list the lies. unreal! ๐Ÿ™„

  9. nightowl724

    When I watch Bush, I do it the way I watched horror movies when I was a kid – through my fingers over my face with a puke bucket nearby and turning away or walking out often. Yet, I do watch sometimes. It’s sort of like being inexplicably drawn to look at a car wreck or something – a mixture of curiosity, shock, and revulsion.

  10. Loved the poster.
    Bush has been drinking the whole time.
    I blogged about it.

  11. Dusty

    Fresno is an hour away from moi!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    The Shrub will rot in TX for the rest of his days, one hopes. He will be a pariah that makes Nixon look like a grade school bully.

  12. jeb

    I love Seven Days in May. Of course the evil possibilities pale in comparison to the reality that you parodied here, Nonnie.

    Homeland? Ya! Deutschland, Deutschland… Actually we discussed that at lunch the other day and one friend went so far as to say she won’t even say the name of that Department! Of course our agreement was on Nazis. They were ardent nationalists and that is the connotation of “homeland.”

    I disagree that his presidency was a “series of mistakes.” I believe it was one entire CF taken in whole and there are no glimpses of light cracking through anywhere. Is he still here damnit?!

    I missed his apologia with the press. I did catch the evil one talking to Wolf on The Situation Room the other day. Turns out that all of that pre-invasion stuff was entirely the CIAs fault. Who knew? Also, water boarding is not torture. And now you know the rest of the story…

  13. nightowl,
    you must have a stronger stomach than i do. i can’t bear to look at him or listen to him.

  14. karen,
    i have little doubt that he’s been hitting the bottle. i remember thinking that he was drinking when the pretzel incident happened. nobody gets that banged up when they’re choking. they do when they’re fall-down stinkin’ drunk though.

  15. dusty,
    is frensno as bad as neon vincent says? i really like the name sundried film festival, and that wouldn’t make a lot of sense in utah or michigan.

    i think you’re correct. nixon is almost a folk hero when compared to chimpy and deadeye dick.

  16. jeb,
    like i said, i didn’t watch the whole thing, just snippets. i can tell you, though, that it was the most self-serving bunch of bull you have ever heard in your life! he blamed everyone and everything for his failures (that is, when he admitted there was failure). it was laughable and infuriating at the same time. he can try and rewrite history as much as he wants, but the vast majority of people all over the world know he is as incompetent in his lying as he was and is in everything else he attempts.

  17. Dusty

    I don’t know how long it’s been since Neon Vincent lived in Bako or Fresno, but personally I think Bako (Bakersfield) is simply the reddest most ignorant city in the reddest most ignorant county (Kern) in Cali. I live in Bako, I go to Fresno for music occasionally.

    Here in Bako, they always vote Rethug, the number of children that go on to college is in the single digits, if that tells you anything Nonnie.

    But its only 90 minutes from Hell-A (LA) so there is lots of culture at my disposal…and I do take advantage of that.

  18. dusty,
    my brother lived near l.a. for many years, but i never went out there. it’s amazing how different different parts of the same state can be. the same is true here, in floriduhhhhh.

  19. Nonnie, Park City is less than an hour away from SLC. I have a standing offer from Jenn to visit when my fiancee and I next go out there.

    As for Bakersfield, Dusty is right. It’s an ignorant redneck place. As a friend of mine who lives in the High Desert wrote, it’s a “third-rate L.A. out in the ass end of nowhere.”

  20. To give you an idea how reactionary the place is, Kern County refused to issue any marriage licenses during the time gay marriage was legal in California. They’d rather marry no one than allow any homosexuals to marry in Kern County. Now that Prop. 8 passed, the county is issuing marriage licenses again.

  21. neon vincent,
    you’ve missed your calling. you should be designing brochures for the tourism department of bakersfield. ๐Ÿ˜† i know i am dying to visit there after reading your descriptions.

  22. Dusty

    I need to correct Neon’s facts about Bako issuing marriage license’s..

    The homophobic bitch that runs that dept changed the issuing of licenses to ‘by appt only’ when the court ruling allowed gays and lesbians to marry. She was going to refuse to issue any licenses to homosexuals until the county lawyer told her to knock it the fuยขk off, she could get her ass and the county’s ass in a whole lotta trouble if she tried that shit.

    I did a post on the first gay marriages in Bako, which were done on the steps of the County Admin building. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Complete w/pictures!

  23. thanks for the clarification, dusty. that was a very sweet post over at your place. ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. Dusty

    Aw, thanks Nonnie, I was so happy to see gay and lesbian couples getting married in this red county, I can not begin to tell you how happy it made me.

    Then, the Prop 8 horse$hit hit the fan…and I was embarrassed to be a resident of Cali. Fuยขking Theocrats and their rightwing bull$hittery.

  25. whenever i meet someone who says that s/he is against gay marriage, i simply tell them not to marry someone of the same sex and to leave everyone else alone. i cannot for the life of me understand why it’s anyone’s business who marries whom. as long as we are talking about consenting adults, who cares?

  26. Dusty

    When I meet someone that can talk civilly about their homophobia I use the following logic:

    Jill and Kay live next door. How would you know if they are married or not, short of asking them…which would be incredibly ignorant on your part.

    They then have to admit they wouldn’t know. So then, I ask them how it would affect their personal life if said couple were actually married…they have to say it wouldn’t…unless they knew…then they try to rationalize how it would affect them.

    All their irrational fears come flying out. To which I say…listen to what you just said…how is that rational?

  27. dusty,
    even when they don’t get the logic, at least you have the satisfaction of making their little heads hurt! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  28. poor dcAp! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    don’t worry. we’ll still have michele bachmann.

  29. nightowl724

    nonnie, my stomach isn’t that strong – that’s why I keep the puke bucket nearby! BTW, I keep the skin cream and Benadryl close, too, for the times I break out in hives from seeing and/or hearing Bush…

  30. there’s not a puke bucket big enough. did you see the dog and pony show tonight?

  31. nightowl724

    No, I’ve been tied up all day – until now. So, what’s up now? (I’m afraid to ask!)

  32. chimpy’s farewell speech. ๐Ÿ™„

  33. nightowl724

    Oh, that’s right. I’ll have to catch it on the tube or tubes later. I’m sure it was quite a performance!

  34. it was another embarrassment. oh well, might has well leave the same way you came in.

  35. nightowl724