You Can Take That to the Snow Bank

From The Huffington Post:

While you read this, Alaska’s First Dude, Todd Palin, is riding a snowmobile — I’m sorry, snow machine — 1971 miles from Big Lake to Fairbanks. In the course of performing this awesome feat, his Arctic Cat’s powerful two-stroke engine will emit the same amount of hydrocarbons as an automobile driving from Chicago to San Francisco and back 150 times.

A small price for the rest of us to pay to honor the indomitability of the human spirit and one man’s ability to sit and hold on.


Original DVD cover

It’s not just a blaze of glory and aromatic hydrocarbon. A conventional two-stroke engine emits as much as a quarter of its fuel unburned, directly into the air. This week, as a participant in the Iron Dog™ snow machine race, Todd Palin will release as many cancer-causing and smog-forming pollutants as a Chevy Malibu driven around the Earth at its equator 28 times.

Seems like a lot of work, just to get away from Sarah Palin.

But Todd’s not just doing it because he hates his home life and likes things that make loud noises and emit benzene. He does it because it’s there. And for hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash and gifts from corporations who do business with the Governor’s office.

…snip…

The total purse value of this year’s Iron Dog™ is $159,050. The sponsors include the petroleum giants Tesoro and Conoco-Phillips; State Farm, Wells Fargo, Frontier Airlines, Alaska Airlines and the Alaska First National Bank.

The Iron Dog™ has fewer than 40 entrants a year, and one of them is always Todd.

Does this smell? I’m probably the wrong person to ask. I hate the cold and I think motor sports is an oxymoron. But he is Alaska’s First Lady, and Tesoro is an oil company.

…snip…

To be fair, Todd can’t win the whole purse. There are lots of little door prizes just for rookies and women and steak dinners for Cutest Hat.

…snip…

And, to be fair, Todd doesn’t always walk away from the camping trip with the hundred grand first prize. He’s only won four times.

Once after Sarah was elected to the Wasilla City Council, once after she was elected mayor, the year she was appointed to the Alaska Oil and Gas Commission, and the year she was elected governor.

26 Comments

Filed under Alaska, Environment, humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Sarah Palin, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

26 responses to “You Can Take That to the Snow Bank

  1. Ram Venkatararam

    “Seems like a lot of work, just to get away from Sarah Palin?” I think I’d do just about anything.

    I think the CD cover sums it up nicely.

    Nice work!

  2. writechicpress

    Which one’s the asshole? They just won’t go away, eh?

  3. ram,
    maybe you can sell sno-cones at your store. i’m not entirely sure, but i think that would qualify you as an expert on russia. 🙂

  4. your pick, wcp. it’s an and/or thing. 😉

  5. Dusty

    OMG..I needed a laugh tonight and your graphic gave me one. 😉

    I am a nutty albeit very staunch environmental personage..I drive a 4 cyl car and do everything I can to make my carbon footprint smaller. The facts you give on what those friggin snow mobile’s release into the atmosphere really chap my ass.

  6. i only provide the giggles, dusty (well, chris kelly, the author of the article provided a few, too!), but i take no credit at all for the facts included. i just copy and paste. rather ironic that the princess was supposed to be the energy expert is married to a guy who is wasting an awful lot of it!

  7. jlms qkw/Jenn

    oh nonnie, you still so funnay! i miss my pecos sooooo much. he is at kitteh hotel for the week while we go to nyc!

    i hope his chains break. a lot.

  8. oh noze!!! poor pecos! his first time away from home! 😮 i hope there is someone there to pet him and spoil him. what are you going to nyc for? vacation? ever been there? what will you do when you get there? i haven’t been there in so long. i’m dying to go back and see a broadway play and have decent pizza and bagels and hot pretzels and baked goods in general. maybe it’s a good thing i’m not going. i’d gain 50 pounds!

  9. jlms qkw/Jenn

    husband has 2.5 days of work. the kids and i will be playing a lot. and there’s a meetup for ME!

  10. Killin’ Drillin’ in Alaska~ Real (Corrupt) Americanzzz

  11. jenn,
    maybe you can meet up with dcAp. he’s in manhattan.

  12. fran,
    and the crapola keeps coming from alaska. the attorney general resigned yesterday. he defended princess and todd in troopergate, and that was a big no-no. in other words, he took the fall for princess. why he was ever appointed is beyond me. he had a 1-man law office that handled worker’s comp cases in wasilla, and princess appointed him ag. she runs the state like it’s a high school.

  13. jeb

    Say what you will about a stinky and smelly two cylinder engine, it’s still a lot more stimulatin’ that a conversation with Gov. Maverick Airhead. You Betcha!

  14. jeb,
    and the snow has a lot more warmth than she does!

  15. A prosperous fool is a grievous burden. —Aeschylus (524— 456 B.C.)

    😐

  16. and an asshole is still an asshole. not sure which playwright said that–maybe shakespeare?, but it’s still true.

  17. distributorcap

    it is her birthday today!

    let’s all crap on her cake

  18. i hope she ages really, really badly, dcAp. i hope all those hours under the tanning lamps turn her skin to shoe leather.

  19. So she’s not going to CPAC. I bet all the GOoPers are limp disappointed.

  20. but, neon vincent, who will do the heavy lifting of bashing the mean old media? 😯

  21. d’oh! how could i forget! 🙄

  22. I guess it would be too much to suggest that a cache of automatic weapons be air-dropped into the middle of a polar bear neighborhood along the route.

  23. karen,
    why bother when the fumes will kill the critters? they’ll already be smoked for the big barbecue later on, you betcha! 😉

  24. nightowl724

    FREEMONEY & GIFT DROPOFF 😆

    The Palins. Wow. Ain’t they a piece of work? F everyone and everything except themselves. But, they lie so charmingly…

    They both just love Alaska to death, don’t they? Literally.

  25. nightowl,
    it amazes me how many people don’t realize how phony they really are. they have one set of rules for everyone else and are very judgmental, but they have an entirely separate set of rules for themselves.

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