From CBS News:
[…] President Obama has been playing the role of bipartisan salesman in chief as he has lobbied night and day to sell his economic stimulus plan. He has staked his first 100 days in office on the stimulus bill, and he will make the sale.
Last night, during his first prime time press conference, Mr. Obama aimed his stimulus rhetoric at his predecessor and Congress.
He told the American people, “I can’t afford to see Congress play the usual political games. What we have to do right now is deliver for the American people. So my bottom line when it comes to the recovery package is: Send me a bill that creates or saves 4 million jobs.”
And he warned, “If you delay acting on an economy of this severity, then you potentially create a negative spiral that becomes much more difficult for us to get out of.”
I hate to interrupt, but that fancy talk is all well and good, but you have to remember who you’re talking to, Mr. President. The American consumer doesn’t respond to logic and common sense. We like slogans and flashy spokespeople. But don’t worry, Mr. Prez, I’m here to help! The first thing I would suggest is that you use a snappy nickname for the American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan, and I don’t mean Stimulus! I think this will work much better:
I bet not even the staunchest Rethuglican will be able to resist Stimwow!
Okay, I know what you’re thinking–Vince hasn’t been around long enough for the American public to completely trust him. That’s okay, I brought back-up! Here’s a guy we all know, and he has a spiffy-looking container that might make all the difference!
Now, there are some who say they want to read the fine print, and that’s why I’ve prepared (with a lot of help from the master salesman of all time) this manual. Don’t worry, the pages inside are blank. People don’t really read that crap. They just want to say that they asked for it. We mail out the booklet in a nice envelope, they get it, and forget it!
We also have to calm the misgivings of those we want to help. Therefore, I have enlisted someone everyone trusts to convince them that they have nothing to fear.
While we try to be nice, there comes a time when you have to call your competitors out, but we still want to remain lovable. I think I have the solution!
Well, I hope this helps! If it doesn’t, we only have one other tactic we can use, but we really, really don’t want to go there.